It’s time for another guest post in my Guest Blogger Series. I’m very excited about this week’s post as it’s something that as a Mum of one, I think about all the time – should we have another baby? We are in the wonderful company of the lovely Bridget from Bridie By The Sea this week and I’m so happy that she wanted to guest post here.
Bridget is a working mum to Emma and step-mum to James. She lives on coffee and chocolate by the seaside in Brighton and blogs to remember to ordinary moments of their life together. You can read more about Bridie By The Sea via her social links at the bottom of the page.
Should we have more than one?
As Emma is approaching two years old, people keep asking me the same question…”so…are you going to have another?!” At first I used to shrug it off and quip about being way too sleep deprived to even contemplate it. But lately I have been giving it a lot of thought, but always end up stumped. How do I know when our family is complete or is it the case that no-one ever really knows?
The one thing people often don’t realise day-to-day is that when I met my other half, I came into a family with a child already. Our relationship is incredibly different to mine with Emma; I am much more relaxed with him and don’t need to discipline him at all. If anything I use almost every opportunity to give him a extra chocolate bar on the sly when his Dad’s not looking! But for the best part of 7 years, he has been such a centrepoint of our family and although I’ll never be his Mum, his presence in our home means we already have 2 wonderful children.
But then at times my mind swings the other way again – wouldn’t it be lovely for Emma to have another sibling closer in age to her? Wouldn’t they have so much fun together playing on the beach and torturing each other for years as they grow up? Would she feel like she was missing out as her friends seem to have brothers and sisters on the way? There are so many ‘what-if’s’ on my mind and I just want to do what’s right for her. Am I being a bit selfish closing the door on it, as a lot of my reasoning to say no is more down to how sleep deprived I still feel and how inconceivable it seems that I’d cope with Emma’s tantrums along with a newborn’s cries.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve been trying to make the right decisions at the right times. I often beat myself up on whether I’m nailing the weaning and sleeping, whether I spotted that she was under the weather before sending her to nursery. Then when I notice her clothes are looking small, I wonder why I hadn’t clocked that before. I try to get everything just right for her, even when there are so many little things to pick up on.
However I’ve now made peace with the fact that there is no right time. I know I’m not the only one who had an unintended pregnancy, but out of this surprise came the most wonderful little girl I have ever met. I guess there is no knowing if I’m doing the right thing, but I just have to keep on going and judging it as it seems to me now. Using that Mummy intuition to make those decisions when I need to. When it comes to another baby – right now – I don’t think we’ll have another.
But never say never.
You can find Bridget on the following social media platforms:
And of course don’t forget to check out her fabulous blog over at Bridie By The Sea.
I want to say a huge thank you to Bridget for guest posting this week and for sharing thoughts that many of us are probably secretly or not so secretly thinking. I am in total agreement with her when she wonders, how do you know. And Bridget, don’t forget to grab your ‘featured on’ badge from the bottom of the page.
If you would like to get involved in the Guest Blogger Series, drop me a message by filling in the form on my Contact Me page. I look forward to hearing from you.