I am loving hosting this series! It’s going down a storm and so I find myself here again, just two weeks since the last guest blog post. This week I’m handing over the reins to CaptainKirt who is talking to us about life as a parent of older kids.
Hello, allow me to introduce myself (as they say in the song). I go by the online moniker of CaptainKirt and I am a married father in his mid-forties. I’ve been blogging for 15 years but for quite a lot of that I’ve been coasting with it. Last year I decided to ‘turn it up a notch’ and start with promoting my posts and refreshing the whole thing with some excellent results. I don’t have a particular niche or category, I don’t apologise for this. You can catch my posts including my new webcomic series at www.kirt.me.uk. Anyway, this year I’ve been asked to do a couple of guest blogs, this is my first and it’s a real honour and a pleasure to do.
I read a lot of blogs and I’ve noticed there are quite a few featuring parents of young children, that’s a brilliant thing. For one it’s a fantastic way of capturing the moments that are so precious. But what happens when those moments are no more? What about when the kids are all grown up?
Parentingwise I’ve pretty much earned the t-shirt. Most parents will get through without any major issues but we had some massive problems along the way which changed so much about our lives. Hopefully the bad stuff is behind us, anyway this post isn’t about that particular journey.
I first became a parent when I was 25 and it’s safe to say it changed my life overnight. The weight of responsibility was enormous, the planning and putting another person first with everything you do was unexpected. Of course the joys always outweigh the changes but it was overwhelming at the time.
Fast forward 20 years and where do we find ourselves? The kids are pretty much grown, they are independent and only want money and lifts, well that’s not entirely true but so much of the day to day stuff has gone. The youngest takes herself to school and back and when at home she spends most of her time in her room. The eldest is 20 and has just moved back home (which proves that you pretty much always need your parents). So what happens to the parents when the kids aren’t needing them so much? Well we never had much support from our respective families in regard of childcare so the biggest thing is the rediscovery of ourselves as a couple. Over the last year or so we started ‘dating’ again. Nothing flash or fancy, the odd trip to the local pub or a bite to eat somewhere. The point is we started to rediscover the people we used to be to some degree and we also discovered that we loved it, this new but not new aspect in our life is welcome. It’s a good thing that we reached this stage in our lives and discovered we still like each other, I’ve seen relationships end after the kids grow up because that’s all they had. We have always allowed each other to pursue our own hobbies and interests, this has always given us the ‘something’ so when we come together we have things to talk about.
What I think I’m trying to say is that life doesn’t end when the kids aren’t as dependent as they once were. I look forward to watching them in their own lives and to my life changing and developing. You never stop being a parent, even when the children are grown, they always need you.
And grandchildren? No, I’m not ready for that just yet.
Big thanks CaptainKirt for giving us hope – that we will have a life after this rollercoaster called parenting! Don’t forget to grab your featured badge from the bottom of the page.
If you would like to get involved in the Guest Blogger Series, drop me a message by filling in the form on my Contact Me page. I look forward to hearing from you.