The Centre Of His World

No one warns you and nothing can prepare you for what I can only describe as the intensity of Motherhood. I say Motherhood of course as I have no experience of Fatherhood. So if you are a Father, forgive me for using just this term. It’s the only experience I have.

From the moment they are born you are the centre of their world. You are there to feed them. You are there to change them. You are there to cuddle them when they need comfort. You are there. Just for them.

And so it goes for the next few years. As babies turn into toddlers and toddlers turn into pre-schoolers, it is still you that they turn to for everything. Even when you think you aren’t doing as much for them as you once did, to them, you are their world.

At least, this is how it is for me. And as I said before. I can only write this post from my own experience.


Ethan is very, very much a Mummy’s boy. Don’t get me wrong, he loves his Daddy and has a great deal of fun and giggles with him but deep down, it’s me that he would have do EVERYTHING for him if he could.

Even after a long day together sometimes he still insists that it’s me that bathes him. That it’s me that gets him dressed ready for bed. That it’s me that reads the bedtime story, ten times over. On a bad day, that it’s me that has to sit on his bedroom floor so he can fall asleep easily. It’s me that he calls in the night when he has a bad dream and it’s me he jumps on in the morning at 5am when he’s awake before first light.

It’s intense. It’s completly adoreable. But it’s intense.

Sometimes I can get to his bedtime and be totally and utterly exhausted and drained from the constant ‘I want Mummy to do it’ and ‘Mummy come and play’. ‘No Mummy don’t tidy the kitchen, come and sit by me’ and the hardest of all, on the rare occasion I go out? The tears and the ‘Don’t go Mummy, stay with me!’.

I’ve been known to feel relief at bedtime when I have a few hours freedom and peace and quiet – and the guilt as I write this is overwhelming. Whilst I totally and utterly, completely and unconditonally love my little boy with all of my heart – he really can drain me.

I know it won’t be like this forever. There will come a time when he will be oh so independent and will likely cringe to think he was ever this way. But for now this is how it is.

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I gave some thought as to why I am everything to him. My conclusion is this.

I am the first person that held him close. My eyes were the first he looked in to. I am the first person that kissed him. From the moment he was born I have been there. I can count on one hand how many nights I’ve had away from him in his almost four years. I am there always. I’m there when he wakes up and I’m there when he goes to sleep. I take him to nursery. I come home to him after work every single day. I am there when he is upset to make it all better. I am there when he is poorly and needs comfort. I am there.

I am his one true constant being. Every day. I am his morning, noon and night. I am the centre of his world.

And on a really bad day, when I’m exhausted from being needed so much. I tell myself that. I remind myself that it’s because he loves me so much that he needs me so much. And that’s enough. Because the feeling is mutual. Completely and utterly mutual. Because he too, is the centre of my world, and you really can’t get better than that.



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55 Comment

  1. Reply
    27th September 2016 at 9:17 am

    This is lovely, and yes motherhood is definitely intense! You are right, it won’t be like this forever and there will come a time when they don’t need us so much, and we will wonder why our house is so quiet :’-(…lovely photos of the two of you by the way! #twinklytuesday

    1. Reply
      27th September 2016 at 9:25 am

      Ah thank you! It’s another tough one to admit that it can be tough, but I know we all feel the same on occasions πŸ™‚ x

  2. Reply
    Renee @peonieandme
    28th September 2016 at 11:48 am

    My husband currently works in London during the week, so Monday to Friday I am Henry’s world. We have snuggle time in the morning (to which we pull silly faces at each other) we chase each other around the house after nursery and I’m the one who feeds, bathes and puts him to bed at night. Its incredible but also incredibly tough sometimes. Especially after work when you just want to collapse. And yet come the weekend when Daddy becomes the centre of Henry’s universe I get jealous. Instead on taking the moment to relax or chill, I want to be the one to carry on the routine. We just want our little ones to need us, because we need them. Lovely post sweetie. Renee @peonieandme #bestandworst

    1. Reply
      28th September 2016 at 3:42 pm

      Thank you. We are daft aren’t we?! It’s lovely to mean that much to someone though isn’t it? Thanks for the lovely comment. X

  3. Reply
    28th September 2016 at 1:51 pm

    I love that quote, I really didn’t get it until I had kids! #bloggerclubuk

    1. Reply
      28th September 2016 at 3:41 pm

      I don’t think any of us do! πŸ™‚

  4. Reply
    Random Musings
    28th September 2016 at 3:56 pm

    Aww this is so sweet and I think it describes that special bond perfectly πŸ™‚
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes πŸ™‚

    1. Reply
      28th September 2016 at 11:44 pm

      Thank you! πŸ™‚

  5. Reply
    29th September 2016 at 7:11 am

    This is such a lovely post. Your little boy is gorgeous πŸ™‚


    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 7:25 am

      Thank you x

  6. Reply
    29th September 2016 at 7:22 am

    Talk to me about this! I feel exactly the same at the moment. but yet, when people say they will take care of Baba, I don’t want them to do so. Weird, right? I think deep-down, we love it! #coolmumclub

    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 7:27 am

      I think maybe there is no pleasing us!!! So good to know that I’m not alone with this one!! Thanks for commenting & making me feel a bit better! πŸ™‚

  7. Reply
    29th September 2016 at 11:24 am

    Such a beautiful sentiment. I have been thinking a lot lately about how much our girls rely on me, and how dependent I feel they are on me for everything. I wonder if it’s skewing my ability to visualise returning to Work? Maybe a break would be good for all of us! Any thoughts?..
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub!

    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 12:03 pm

      Even though I didn’t want to return to work after having him, in hindsight I am so glad I did. Don’t get me wrong, meaning so much to someone is a really beautiful thing, but I think I would go mad if I didn’t have that head space in the mornings. He needs the time away aswell to gain the independence. Of course, it’s different for everyone though πŸ™‚

  8. Reply
    Something About Baby
    29th September 2016 at 12:08 pm

    This is so lovely, especially love the quote at the end, as it is so true of motherhood! I think Alfie is too young at 15 months to have a preference just yet, but I have a feeling he is a total Daddy’s boy! But I know that we have a special bond in our own way so I don’t mind too much πŸ™‚ lovely post #Bloggerclubuk

    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 12:15 pm

      Ah we both have bonds, they are just a different kind. He knows he can go to Daddy for rough and tumble games and football, but everything else seems to be me, me, me! πŸ™‚ Thanks for the lovely comment. x

      1. Reply
        Something About Baby
        29th September 2016 at 12:31 pm

        Popping back from #bestandworst!

  9. Reply
    Lucy At Home
    29th September 2016 at 1:31 pm

    This is so true. I love being the constant in their little lives, and I love that they need me and want me. But it is hard. There is no denying that. I think every mum feels this way so don’t feel guilty for writing it down. #CoolMumClub

    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 5:16 pm

      It’s nice to hear it from someone else. That’s why I love writing these posts. There is always someone out there feeling the same. Thanks for leaving a lovely comment. X

  10. Reply
    Angela Watling
    29th September 2016 at 4:33 pm

    This is such a beautiful post xx #CoolMumClub

    1. Reply
      29th September 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Thank you πŸ™‚ xx

  11. Reply
    Laura - dear bear and beany
    29th September 2016 at 5:26 pm

    What a beautiful post. Boys and their mums is a special one, I often wonder how different it is to a mum and her daughter. I know from friends says that you loose them for a bit through those rocky teenage years, but they always come full circle and be a mummy’s boy again. I know this is true of my brother. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove X

    1. Reply
      30th September 2016 at 7:13 pm

      Thank you! Oh gosh, teenage years. I’m dreading those. Hopefully I’ll have a good boy…! Yeah right! πŸ™‚ x

  12. Reply
    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    30th September 2016 at 1:39 pm

    Even two years in, I’m still surprised at the intensity of motherhood. I know I struggled with the lack of space for my own thoughts for a long time, and there are still days where I feel I need my space. But you’re right, I love being there for him, being the one he comes to when he’s upset, being the one who can always comfort him and make him feel better. It’s a really special and magical feeling that I wouldn’t change for the world. Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply
      30th September 2016 at 8:14 pm

      Even though the feelings can feel suffocating, it’s reassuring to know that they’re perfectly normal. Motherhood should come with a warning!!! πŸ™‚ Thank you! πŸ™‚

  13. Reply
    Daniel Morgan
    30th September 2016 at 3:42 pm

    Awwww..So sweet and adorable love this!

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 10:52 pm

      Thank you πŸ™‚

  14. Reply
    helen gandy
    30th September 2016 at 8:50 pm

    Ahh ahhhh what a beautiful post, I feel this way about my boy too, this brought tears to my eyes. I also realised I was not following you on Instagram but I am now! THanks for linking up lovely #bestandworst

    1. Reply
      30th September 2016 at 9:20 pm

      Ah bless you!! Thank you!! I love hearing that my posts can evoke emotion!! I must be doing something right πŸ™‚ ah that’s great thank you. Xx

  15. Reply
    1st October 2016 at 2:46 pm

    I really enjoyed this and I think I needed it as this week has been a toughie, probably the hardest since the newborn weeks and I’ve felt really drained. But you’ve reminded me how lucky I am to be the one my baby wants all day and night. #fortheloveofblog

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 8:33 am

      Ah bless you. I’m so pleased I have helped you feel a bit better. It is really hard at times and it’s always nice to know that it’s not just you that feels that way. I had a day yesterday where hubby was in charge of Daddy Day Care & it did me the world of good. Sometimes a few hours ‘off’ is all it takes to feel ready to start all over again. Thanks for reading & leaving such a nice comment. Xx

  16. Reply
    Bridie By The Sea
    1st October 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Aww this is so lovely – I’ve just started back at work and have felt a bit of guilt at the sudden change in our lives…me not being there 24/7 for our daughter – this post has reminded me not to be so hard on myself. You are so right, as mums we are often the ones who are there for so much of it, for feeding and changing and making things better for them when they are poorly. It’s intense but such an amazing thing – such a beautiful post. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 8:23 am

      I’m pleased it’s help you feel less guilty. It’s such a hard decision to make. I read you original post about the opportunity you had & I remember feeling for you having to decide what to do. I hope it’s going ok & am pleased you enjoyed this post x

  17. Reply
    1st October 2016 at 11:56 pm

    What a lovely post. Reading it has made me a bit emotional! I know exactly what you mean though.
    I have been told (on a few occasions) that I smother my little ones too much. I cuddle them, and smooch them, and tell them I love them too much. Honestly, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH.
    Because I know, just like you, there is going to be a time when I can long longer just grab them for a cuddle, when they’ll be embarrased, or too grown up for all that.
    For now, I am going to show them I love them, all day, every day. For as long as I can. xx

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 8:27 am

      Yes!! You’re right. How can it possibly be too much?! If they know they are loved then that is the most important thing in the world. Some people should keep opinions like that to themselves. You’re doing a fantastic job! Thank you for sharing the post, I’m glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚ xx

  18. Reply
    My Petit Canard
    2nd October 2016 at 2:36 am

    Its so true. Motherhood is overwhelming, constant and exhausting, but its also amazing and so special. It can be really hard to appreciate it all, every minute of the day, but I try to remind myself that they wont be young for very long as you say, and that it is because you are their whole world. Great post to remind me of that in the middle of a late night feed with my 14 week old πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing this on #MarvMondays. Emily

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 2:41 pm

      I’m glad you like the blog post. It seems to have resonated with a lot of people. X

  19. Reply
    2nd October 2016 at 6:48 pm

    As a mum of two boys I can completely relate to this. I sometimes feel claustrophobic with them clambering all over me all day but I know that as this phase passes too I will miss their complete and unfaltering love #justanotherlinky

    1. Reply
      2nd October 2016 at 10:51 pm

      Yes! We are all human and all feel the same. In a few years we will be blogging about how we miss their hugs and kisses and we’ll look back and kick ourselves for ever talking about it!

    2. Reply
      4th October 2016 at 10:18 am

      Just spotted you on #fortheloveofBLOG too! Great minds!

      1. Reply
        4th October 2016 at 2:31 pm

        Haha! πŸ™‚

  20. Reply
    6th October 2016 at 8:15 am

    This was really sweet, although exhausting it’s so nice to be loved so much. #Sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply
      6th October 2016 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you. It’s resonated with quite a few πŸ™‚

  21. Reply
    Twin Pickle
    6th October 2016 at 5:31 pm

    He’s such a cutie, and lucky to have such a loving patient mummy! #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply
      6th October 2016 at 10:29 pm

      Ah the patience is tested at times, as it is for all of us. But thank you, that’s really kind! πŸ™‚

  22. Reply
    Andrea @Topsy Turvy Tribe
    6th October 2016 at 6:32 pm

    So true I have 2 boys and you have described my youngest to a tee. An exhausting, demanding whirlwind… that we wouldn’t change for the world and love to bits! #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply
      6th October 2016 at 10:28 pm

      Aww, boys and their Mums – and they act so cool when they grow up. It’s a special bond for sure. Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  23. Reply
    Alana - Burnished Chaos
    6th October 2016 at 9:40 pm

    This is so beautiful and so true. It can be exhausting at times and I often feel relief at bedtime so I can get some peace for an hour or two, but it is all totally worth it. My oldest is 7 now and already starting to need me less and less and as much as I am loving watching him grow it saddens me that one day soon he won’t want to hold my hand on the way to school or cuddle up and read together before bed.

    1. Reply
      6th October 2016 at 10:25 pm

      Awww don’t, that’s so sad. Just today I was telling my little man to slow down and stay my baby forever and he said “I can’t Mummy, I have to grow big!” Already so wise!! Thank you for such a nice comment.

  24. Reply
    Life as Mum
    6th October 2016 at 11:22 pm

    This is so sweet. Motherhood is just amazing. It goes so fast though.
    Thank you for linking up to #justanotherlinky

    1. Reply
      7th October 2016 at 8:18 pm

      Sure does. It feels like yesterday that I felt like a pregnant whale. Now we’re fast approaching his 4th birthday! Thanks for stopping by.

  25. Reply
    A Mum Track Mind
    7th October 2016 at 12:24 pm

    My son was uber clingy up until about a year ago and although it was lovely, sometimes it was also a bit stifling! Now he is nearly 11 and he hardly wants to know and I’m sad. You can’t win so just enjoy it now. #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. Reply
      7th October 2016 at 8:21 pm

      Oh god. How horrible to feel the opposite! I will enjoy it now while I can. X

  26. Reply
    Kirsty - Motherhoodery
    10th October 2016 at 6:47 pm

    Such a lovely post and so true. My little man is only 15months old and likes mummy and daddy fairly equally, but I spend all day, every day with him, so I wonder if that will change a bit when he starts talking and can demand who does things! It breaks my heart to think of a time when we aren’t needed anymore. Even him going to school and doing things without me will be tough. But that’s what we’re here for. To let them bloom and fly away. x #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply
      10th October 2016 at 7:23 pm

      I’ll manage just nicely with this for a few more years. I can’t cope with the thought of him flying away!! I’ll make the most of these precious years. Thanks for a lovely comment. Glad you enjoyed the post. X

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