20 years on – gone but never forgotten…

20 years on – gone but never forgotten…

It was a hot Summer’s day. July 18th 1996. I was fifteen years old. I was looking forward to the end of the Summer term and was excited for the break with family. But everything changed that day.

My Nan had been poorly for a couple of weeks and had been taken into hospital a few days before. I never feared the worst because Nan was someone who was always there. Always had been and in my head, always would be. I was fifteen. Young and naive. But I didn’t know any different. But it turned out that the world had other ideas that day.

The day before, my Nan took a turn for the worst and it was a long night. Everyone feared a phone call. You know the kind. Every time the phone rang we felt a little bit more sick. But the phone call we all dreaded didn’t come. At least not that night. Nan was a fighter. That much was clear.

My Mum and Dad decided to keep me off school the next day. They didn’t think it was right to send me and for that I will be forever grateful. I spent the day at home and we just waited. And hoped. And waited a bit more.

We waited all morning and then at 2pm that afternoon the phone rang and it was the news we didn’t want to hear. Nan had died. And I burst into tears. I’d never lost anyone and I had never felt anything like it in my life.

That was twenty years ago and it’s incredibly hard to believe that so much time has passed since I last saw her. So much has changed in my life. In all our lives. I’m grown up now. I have my own family and there are so many days that go by that I wonder what she would think of my lovely little boy. I don’t know why I wonder because I know she would adore him. As she did all of her grandchildren.

I wanted to write this to mark the twenty years since she left us. I couldn’t let it go by without acknowledging it. Twenty years has gone by in a blink but it seems so very long at the same time.

Her photograph hangs on my living room wall along with lots of other memories and my little man will know all about her as he grows up. He has already started asking “who is that lady?” when pointing to her picture.

So, to Nan – I hope you’re proud of what you see when you look over us. Just know that we miss you every day and not a day goes by that we don’t think about you. Twenty years may have passed and you may be gone, but I promise you, you will never, ever be forgotten.

Thank you for reading.


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  1. Donna
    18th July 2016 / 8:37 am

    Lovely words Poppet. Nan would be very proud of us all. xxx

    • Jaki
      18th July 2016 / 2:26 pm


  2. 18th July 2016 / 10:03 pm

    Aw, this was such a beautiful post to read and such a wonderful way to remember her. A beautifully written and very touching post!

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:31 pm

      Thank you so much.

  3. 18th July 2016 / 10:34 pm

    What a touching tribute to such a special member of your family. Very moving and beautifully written lovely. Thank you for sharing with us at #fartglitter x

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:31 pm

      Thank you so much x

  4. 19th July 2016 / 12:26 am

    Lovely post about someone so special to you. Thanks for sharing. #anything goes

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:34 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  5. The Tale of Mummyhood
    19th July 2016 / 2:29 pm

    A lovely post, I’m sure your Nan would be very proud of you.


    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:35 pm

      Ah thank you, that’s kind.

  6. Cheryl @ ReimerandRuby
    19th July 2016 / 5:37 pm

    What a lovely post, so touching! A very special way to remember someone so dear to your heart. #TwinklyTuesday

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:36 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  7. 19th July 2016 / 8:11 pm

    This was so beautiful and made me hugely emotional. Today is ten years since we lost my second son so I completely sympathise with how sad anniversaries can be. Thinking of you. #fartglitter

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:38 pm

      Oh I am so sorry to hear that. I hope the day wasn’t too upsetting for you and sorry for making you emotional. Thank you for reading it on such a hard day. x

  8. 19th July 2016 / 10:31 pm

    Ahh bless you. My son was also born in 2012, and my Nanna gone nearly 20 years too. I think of her still. She would love my boy so much – I just know it. And im sure yours would too #TwinklyTuesday

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:38 pm

      Thank you so much, and I’m sorry for your loss aswell. Bless them both.

  9. 20th July 2016 / 9:29 pm

    A lovely post. It’s incredibly hard to cope will the loss of important people in your life. But the memories and thing they taught us always stay with us, so you’re right, they are never forgotten. #BloggerClubUK

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:39 pm

      Thank you so much.

  10. 20th July 2016 / 9:30 pm

    What a lovely post and such a beautiful picture, she has such happiness and spirit in her eyes. Thanks for sharing such a lovely post and picture with the #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:40 pm

      Those are such lovely words, thank you. I love the photo.

  11. 20th July 2016 / 10:34 pm

    Nan’s are so important. Mine died when I was 12 and I still remember the look in my father’s face as he told us and that feeling of disbelief even though she had been ill for years. xxx


    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:40 pm

      I’m very lucky to have had such a special lady in my life. It’s hard to let them go. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. xx

  12. 20th July 2016 / 11:19 pm

    Welldone for being able to write a post about someone so close to you 🙂 I bet she is watching over you enjoying taking in your family growing up. I lost my Grandad 18 years ago this summer and I still miss him terribly. I really related to your post xx #BloggerClubUK

    • Jaki
      20th July 2016 / 11:42 pm

      Thank you so much, what lovely words. I’m sorry for the loss of your grandad. xx

  13. 21st July 2016 / 8:19 am

    I still miss my nan & think about her a lot. It’s lovely you have such great memories of her.

    • Jaki
      21st July 2016 / 8:51 am

      Thank you so much. It seems like a lot of people have related to this one. Thank you for reading.

  14. 21st July 2016 / 2:46 pm

    Popping over from #fartglitter – sorry it’s taken a bit longer for me to comment but I started to read your post and it made me think of my grandad who passed away in 2005 and I got a bit too upset to post anything! I don’t think you ever really forget or get over the loss of a loved one, you just learn how to carry on with life. #fartglitter

    • Jaki
      28th July 2016 / 9:18 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment and for popping back to write it. I am so sorry to hear of your loss too. It does get easier over time, but you are right, they will never be forgotten.

  15. 23rd July 2016 / 9:30 am

    Sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were blessed to have crossed paths with her. #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      28th July 2016 / 9:20 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  16. 25th July 2016 / 12:24 pm

    This is such a gorgeous heartfelt post. The first person who died that broke my heart was my grandad back in 2004. Every year I felt sad (and still do) but then I lost my dad 4 years ago and that just quashed everything. I know just what you mean about the wondering what they would think of the children, I know that Dad would adore Zach just like he did with my nephew. Unfortunately he never got to meet Zach as he passed away 2 months before he was born but I know he’d be real proud of all of us. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Jaki
      28th July 2016 / 9:24 pm

      I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and of course, your Grandad. It is so very hard. I like to think my Nan is looking down on us from somewhere and I’m sure your Dad and Grandad are too. Thanks for commenting.

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