Many people say that money is the root of all evil. It can make many people selfish and many others greedy. But what about money and relationships? What happens when there isn’t a happy balance? What happens if one partner gets into debt? Could it mean that it’s make or break time for the relationship?
Shepherds Friendly have recently partnered up with psychologist and relationship expert, Dr Becky Spelman to conduct a survey to find out just how much money can impact on relationships.
Do women still look for financial security?
Well, it seems they do, to a certain degree! 36.1% of women agree that money plays a part in how attractive you find a partner. I guess this means that some women like the idea of having some of the finer things in life and others may like the idea that if and when the time comes to have a family, they don’t want to have to worry and they want to know that they will be in a position financially to be able to afford the expense of a family. Which these days, isn’t cheap!
Personally, money isn’t the be all and end all for me. When I was a single girl, I wouldn’t have ruled anyone out if they weren’t rolling in it. To me, there’s more to it than that. But I can see why some people might find it a concern, especially if they have had money worries themselves in the past.
Date night – who pays?
If you’re anything like me, you’ll love the bit on First Dates when you get to see how they discuss who’s going to pick up the restaurant tab at the end of the meal! I have always been a 50/50 kind of a girl. Back in the day when I was dating my husband before we were married, I never expected him to foot the bill. I was an independent girl, earning a full-time wage, I wanted to pay my way.
It seems I’m not alone, as according to the survey, 56.1% of women agree that the bill should be split. It seems we are a country of independent women. Watch out we’ll be bursting into song pretending we’re Beyonce any minute!
Bankrupt in money, bankrupt in love?
This is a biggy. The survey asked the question, would you split up with your partner in the case of bankruptcy? Considering that money worries are one of the biggest reasons marriages fall apart in the UK, it’s interesting to see the results. 10.4% of women agreed that bankruptcy equates to the end of a relationship and 31.4% agree that individuals are not responsible for their partner’s debt.
It’s good to see that the majority would stand by their partners if the going got tough, and it’s also apparent that the majority think that when you are in a relationship, you are indeed a team and by working together you can take on financial responsibilities together.
Rainy day spending
We all know that we need to save money. Admittedly, it’s not always easy, but wherever possible we know we should be putting some pennies aside for a rainy day. It’s not surprising that over 90% of women agreed.
I don’t know about you, but knowing there is money put aside for an emergency always makes me feel much more relaxed and in turn, a much calmer person to be around. It’s not difficult to believe that the majority of people questioned, both male and female felt it was important to save for your future.
If you want to see a more in-depth analysis, you should take a look at the infographic from Shepards Friendly that looks at how money impacts relationships. It’s a really interesting read.
Can’t buy me love?
Of course, money is going to have an impact on your relationships. Money has an impact on everything these days and relationships are no different. It’s how you handle them that matters though. If you value your relationship then sometimes, you might need to put your pride aside, or you might need to make sure you talk more so you have a mutual understanding.
Just because you may have a difference of opinion when it comes to money, it doesn’t mean you aren’t compatible. Just because one earns more than the other, it doesn’t mean you won’t work well together as a couple. Keep the lines of communication about money open as much as with other areas of your relationship and there’s no reason why it should stand in the way of a happy coupling.
What do you think? Did the survey results surprise you in any way? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let me know in the comments.
Written in collaboration