The Frustrations Of Having A Fussy Eater

3 March 2017 4 min read
The Frustrations Of Having A Fussy Eater

It seems there is never a time whilst being a parent that even though you are filled to the brim with overwhelming love for this miracle that you created, at the same time, you are over run with frustration. When they are babies it can be because they won’t stop crying. When they are toddlers, no matter how much you try, they will not use the damn potty. When they get a little bit older they start to demand all of your attention and won’t let you load the dishwasher, or go for a wee in peace.

I’ve lost count how many times I have wished that kids came with a manual. If only. If only we could pick up the Bumper Book Of How To Bring Up Kids and look up every problem to find the solution there in black and white.

The thing is, no kid is the same. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another and there lies our problem.

The issue I’m having at the moment and what has spurred me on to sit here waffling on about my own frustrations is, quite simply, food.

My four year old Little Man has never been the best eater. He is very much the ‘I know what I like and I like what I know’ kind of child when it comes to filling his belly. I often question whether it’s my fault (of course I do, I’m a Mum). I often wonder whether I ballsed the whole weaning process up. Did I not give him enough solid foods? Did I not offer him enough variety? Did I not let him play with it enough?

But in all honesty, even if I did make some mistakes, and I say ‘if’ because I have no idea, it’s too late to dwell on it now. What’s done is done and I just have to deal with the situation as it is.

The Frustrations Of Having A Fussy Eater

Going out with him can be tricky because there is never a great deal on menus that he will eat. As I said, he’s got his favourites and he’s sticking to them. He has no interest in trying anything new. The problem this is leading to is that I now think he’s getting bored of the things he does like! We seem to have reached a point where he will eat the food and then get bored halfway through and he’ll hand me the plate. He’ll then ask for something else, and what is left on the plate either goes in the bin, or in Mummy’s tummy – which, I hasten to add, is not good for the figure! Oh, but I hate to see food wasted!

Now I know this is where a lot of people will tell me he should be told to eat what’s on his plate before he can have something else. Well funnily enough, I have tried that! But more recently he has discovered that if he keeps chewing that last mouthful, he won’t have to eat anymore. Because of course he has his mouth full. He’s not stupid my kid. Then he refuses to swallow and so it ends up in the bin anyway. See what I mean? Frustrating!

Now I know this is not uncommon, because of course, like any Mum, I turned to the oracle that is Google. It is actually far more common than you would think. So I’m not worried. I’m just bloody frustrated! I mean of course, I don’t want him to go hungry, but I don’t want him to think he’s got me over a barrel either! You see this is where I need the Bumper Book Of Bringing Up Kids.

My Frustrations With Having A Fussy Eater

And so we toddle on regardless, each day trying to get him to eat new things. Each day getting more frustrated when he won’t. Each day, beating myself up a little bit more, for not getting it right in the first place.

But whilst I do all of this I also try and remind myself of a few other things. At least he is eating. Okay, it might only be certain things and they might not be the most fulfilling of things, but if he likes them and he is eating, then I guess it’s okay. He eats when he’s hungry and he stops when he is full. He isn’t starving. He isn’t skin and bone. He eats fruit and vegetables – which is something a lot of kids don’t! He’s happy! So I should be. All I can do is encourage him in the best way I can – and of course, not get cross. Because, deep down, it’s not his fault. It’s what kids do. This, I’m beginning to realise.

This too shall pass. I know some day soon he will likely be eating me out of house and home. Skip forward a few years and I’ll have a stroppy teenager demanding that Mum gets some more food in! I live in hope.

In the mean time, I remain thankful that Tuc biscuits exist but at the same time, pray that he doesn’t morph into one overnight.

How about you? Have you got finicky eaters on your hands? Let me know and make me feel a little better!

[pdf-embedder url=”https://jakijellz.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/I-regularly-link-up-to-these-lovely-linkys..pdf” title=”I regularly link up to these lovely linkys.”]

38 Comments

  • Emily 3 March 2017 at 19:13

    My girls are pretty good eaters, but can be reluctant to try new foods which does big me as they tend to eat the same things all time! There’s not much variety!! Thanks for linking up to #ThatFridayLinky

    • Jaki 3 March 2017 at 20:37

      I know exactly what you mean!! So frustrating. Thanks for hosting 🙂

  • Peachy and her Mommy 3 March 2017 at 23:13

    We have our own set of eating problems too. Peachy has been teething for the last 3 months and it makes her not want to eat anything. The last week has been a little better so I’m hoping we’ll have a little break now. But I’m almost afraid to even wish for it fearing that it will disappear and we’ll be back to out mealtime disasters. #PoCoLo

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:46

      You have my complete sympathy. It’s such a tricky time. I hope it stays on the right track.

  • Rhi 4 March 2017 at 08:48

    My girl is fussy too. It drives me insane some days, meat is my biggest battle at the moment. The irony? She loves school dinners, eats the lot, even pizza which she won’t eat at home. I’m beginning to think she just doesn’t like my cooking lol. #ThatFridayLinky

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:48

      Oh no! You do begin to doubt everything don’t you?! My little one loves cheese on toast. Loves tomato sauce but won’t touch pizza!! I just don’t get it! X

  • Candace 4 March 2017 at 09:06

    I completely hear you. What drives me really mad is when they decide they don’t like something they loved the week befaore

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:49

      Oh yes. The biggest bug bear of them all! Just when you think you’re winning – they decide they don’t like it after all!

  • Nige 4 March 2017 at 17:27

    It must be a pain having afussy eater saying my mum said I was I think I still am super read Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:49

      Apparany his Dad was – so o blame him entirely!! 😄 Thank you.

  • Stephanie Robinson 4 March 2017 at 18:14

    I bet lots more mums would sign up for that book, and it’d become a best seller overnight, but I bet it still wouldn’t have all the answers. I’ve no experience here at all but we all need to eat, and hopefully he’ll experiment with new foods when he’s ready. Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:50

      I’m sure he will! I’m hoping school will help in September. We will see! Thank you.

  • Mrs Mummy Harris 4 March 2017 at 21:29

    I was such a fussy eater and at one point for family dinners we could only eat out somewhere if it had lasagne on the menu. With my history I have been so worried about Ben and his eating habits so my attitude is let him try everything – now he is old enough to have finger foods when we’re out i try to make a point of stopping at a coffee shop to have a fruit salad or a roll whilst mummy gets her caffeine!! =]
    Hubby also was under GOSH due to refusing to eat as a kid (he could easily go the whole day without eating anything) and the dietician told his mum to let him eat anything he wanted including sweets and chocolate as it was better than nothing. Fast forward to 12/13 years old and he changed. Something clicked and now he eats like a pig and damn him still stays slim!!
    I know its easier to say that do – but try not to stress too much. He’ll come round in time. #PoCoLo

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:52

      That’s the attitude I’m trying to have! His Dad was a picky eater apparently. Lived off Ice Cream for a time. So we’ll blame him for now and then I’m sure it will all be okay in the end. 😄

  • chickenruby 5 March 2017 at 03:06

    my youngest, now almost 18, would eat anything as a toddler, Olives, Hummus, fish, seafood, you name it, he ate it and I was one of those annoying mums with the OTT ‘healthy’ lunch boxes. By the age of 11-17 all he would eat was fast food, mainly subways, pizza’s and mcdonalds, there is no rhyme or reason to it, however thankfully, he is now eating a greater variety of foods and has actually started preparing himself food when he comes home to visit. popping over from #PoCoLo

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:54

      Always great to hear how it turns out for people. I’m sure it will all be okay in the end. I think we overthink things too much. But then it’s only natural when you’ve never done it before. Thanks for stopping by.

  • Alana - Burnished Chaos 5 March 2017 at 07:29

    My first was a great eater until he turned 2. Then he became extremely fussy. For a long time the only thing I could get him to eat for breakfast was malt loaf, and god help me if I cut something up when he wanted it whole, oh the drama! He’s 7 now and thankfully he’s back to being a good eater. My daughter on the other hand has been a nightmare from day one. Trying to get a vegetable (or a fruit that isn’t in dried and bear claw shaped form) into her is nigh on impossible and most of what is served up ends up on the floor. We did exactly the same with both kids and they are polar opposites with what they will eat so it’s definitely nothing you did, it’s just who they are. As long as we keep giving them new things to try and as long as they are still growing I think we are doing ok x
    #PoCoLo

    • Jaki 5 March 2017 at 11:54

      Oh I love comments like this. Thank you! It’s made me feel much better. Thanks so much. X

  • Daydreamer Mum 5 March 2017 at 12:01

    Aaaw it’s so hard and you do beat yourself up. My 8 yr old will not touch fruit, drives me mad but actually I can either dwell and make a big deal of it (which I know is pointless) or just relax a bit, cheat her with smoothies and find something else to dwell on! I also want that manual! #blogstravaganza

    • Jaki 7 March 2017 at 16:09

      That’s kind of the attitude I’ve adapted. The more I stress the worse it gets! 🙂

  • The Tale of Mummyhood 6 March 2017 at 12:25

    My eldest is becoming pickier by the minute. She used to eat so well, but meal times these days are almost always a battle! Here’s hoping it’s a phase that will pass. Thanks so much for linking up to #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx

    • Jaki 7 March 2017 at 16:10

      It’s comments like these that make me relax a little. We’re all going through the same thing. X

  • Brittany | A Mindful Geek 8 March 2017 at 15:46

    It will pass. I only have one child and she is almost 9. And when she was younger she would eat anything and still does to this day. But I have known a lot of my friends had fussy eaters and would just be miserable. Feeling as if they are failing. You are not failing. You have a great attitude! #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 8 March 2017 at 16:11

      Thank you! If nothing else writing posts like these make me feel so much better! 🙂

  • pam lorimer 8 March 2017 at 15:52

    Haha this rang a lot of bells! Im pretty sure my son is 80% sausage! #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 8 March 2017 at 16:14

      Hahahaha! That made me laugh! It’s not just me! Thank goodness! 🙂

  • Rainbows are too beautiful 8 March 2017 at 18:47

    All fussy eaters. Davids on a different scale though. His desire for routine and he’s very suspicious of food. He would rather go hungry! It’s hard work and going on holidays can mean eating cereal and toast for two weeks! #triumpanttales

    • Jaki 8 March 2017 at 20:31

      It’s a nightmare isn’t it?! I think maybe I worry too much. I just hope he grows out of it. Until then, all I can do is encourage! 🙂

  • Talya 10 March 2017 at 09:56

    Yes to this! We struggled massively and it’s not like the war is over but things did get easier after she hit three. I found sitting down and eating all together and also doing things like going to pick our own vegetables and getting my daughter to cook with me seemed to help. We got for the just try a little bit and if you don’t like it that’s fine. We are still plodding through slowly. Totally feel your pain!

    • Jaki 12 March 2017 at 23:44

      I’ve decided to not make a big deal out of it in the hope it gets better. Fingers crossed anyway. Thank you xx

  • Talya 10 March 2017 at 09:56

    P.S. thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

  • Susie at This Is Me Now 10 March 2017 at 19:46

    Mine’s starting to refuse her tea half way through too, I think/hope it’s just a phase. I just bribe and say “if you want a pudding/yoghurt you need to finish it”. Usually it works and if it doesn’t I just assume she’s full and then she doesn’t get pudding. Good luck, power through!! #FortheloveofBLOG

    • Jaki 12 March 2017 at 23:38

      It’s a pain isn’t it?! They have some strange ways these kids. I’m sure it’s just a phase. Good luck to you too xx

  • Janet 12 March 2017 at 01:33

    Although my kids will try anything, they do have things they like and don’t like. My eldest son doesn’t like Lasagne or King Prawn Linguine (my youngest son also doesn’t like the linguine) so I always end up cooking more than one meal. For Sunday lunch, I have one who likes cauliflower but hates broccoli, one who loves broccoli and hates cauliflower but then the other three of us like both! It’s a nightmare remembering who has what.

    My sister on the other hand, had two very good eaters followed by a fussy eater. He was offered everything as a small child, and his siblings hate it, yet he is still so fussy now, and he’s just gone 16. I don’t think it’s necessarily just down to the parent and what they are offered, it can also depend on the child too – as sometimes there is nothing you can do!

    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki 12 March 2017 at 22:39

      These kids do test us don’t they?! I’m pleased you have kids that will try anything, I wish mine was more like that! I’m sure it will come eventually!

  • Silly Mummy 12 March 2017 at 23:42

    It’s a nightmare! my youngest has always been fussy and difficult to get to eat. Eldest used to eat everything, but has developed fussiness since she turned 3! #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki 12 March 2017 at 23:43

      You’re not alone! Let’s hope it’s a phase!!

  • laura 16 March 2017 at 21:59

    Bless you it is no fun! My first is a total gannet but second has been really fussy! So frustrating especially wasting so much food 🙁 xx

    #friyaylinky

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