Today sees me turn thirty-seven. Thirty chuffing seven. I’m not quite sure how that has happened so fast, but it has. No matter how in denial I am, I appear to be hurtling towards the big 40 whether I like it or not.
I wanted to have a quick look back over the last ten years. I wanted to see how much I’ve changed and what has changed around me. Rather a lot on first glance.
Ten years ago, at the tender age of twenty-seven, I had just met my now husband after having been single for the best part of two years. I had no idea that when I met him on that night back in May 2008 that he would change my life so dramatically. I had no idea when I heard those words “a girl as pretty as you, must have a boyfriend” that I was in the process of being swept off my feet. I had no idea that this guy would propose to me months later and then later still become the father of my child. I had no idea about any of it.
Had I known I probably wouldn’t have believed it. I was fragile at the time. I had been messed about a lot, my heart had been trampled on and I didn’t have much faith in guys at all. But I’m glad I learnt to trust again because this guy in particular, was about to rock my world.
It’s quite sad when I look back that the minute I found a guy to trust I lost trust in friends. I’m sad that there were people in my life back then and in the years to follow that are no longer in my life. I’m sick of playing the blame game with this too. At the time there was a lot of ‘he said’ and ‘she said’. I’m over that kind of talk. These days if someone doesn’t make an effort then neither do I. Life is too short for negativity and I’m pretty happy with my lot. The friends and family that are still around now are the ones that have stood the test of time and I know they are the ones I can rely on when the going gets tough. And of course when the going gets good. These are the ones that matter.
Ten years ago I wouldn’t have thought like that. So you could say I’ve matured somewhat. I like to think I have anyway. I’ve dealt with many emotions over the last ten years. From becoming a married ‘woman’ to a Mum all in the space of eighteen months. No one warns you about those hormones!
Later on, saw us deal with my Mums illness and her chemotherapy treatment. One of the hardest things we’ve ever had to face. Later still saw us lose my Uncle and assist in organising a funeral for the first time ever. All of this whilst bringing up a child when I really had no clue what I was doing there either.
The older you get the more responsibilities you take on and it isn’t until I look back that I realise just how much growing up I’ve done over the last decade. I’m ten years older and I really am ten years wiser. If you were in my life ten years ago and you are still in it now, it’s because we were meant to be friends. It’s because we are important enough to each other to keep it that way. I realise now that this is what matters. And I thank you for that. From the bottom of my heart.
So I wish myself a Happy Birthday and pat myself on the back, for not being a bad egg at all. Here’s to the next ten. Now, where’s that Prosecco?!