Guest Blogger Series: Should we have more than one? – Bridie By The Sea

GUEST BLOGGERS HEADER - Bridie By The Sea

It’s time for another guest post in my Guest Blogger Series. I’m very excited about this week’s post as it’s something that as a Mum of one, I think about all the time – should we have another baby? We are in the wonderful company of the lovely Bridget from Bridie By The Sea this week and I’m so happy that she wanted to guest post here.

Bridget is a working mum to Emma and step-mum to James. She lives on coffee and chocolate by the seaside in Brighton and blogs to remember to ordinary moments of their life together. You can read more about Bridie By The Sea via her social links at the bottom of the page.

 

Should we have more than one?

Guest Blog Series Bridie By The Sea Should We Have Another

As Emma is approaching two years old, people keep asking me the same question…”so…are you going to have another?!” At first I used to shrug it off and quip about being way too sleep deprived to even contemplate it. But lately I have been giving it a lot of thought, but always end up stumped. How do I know when our family is complete or is it the case that no-one ever really knows?

The one thing people often don’t realise day-to-day is that when I met my other half, I came into a family with a child already. Our relationship is incredibly different to mine with Emma; I am much  more relaxed with him and don’t need to discipline him at all. If anything I use almost every opportunity to give him a extra chocolate bar on the sly when his Dad’s not looking! But for the best part of 7 years, he has been such a centrepoint of our family and although I’ll never be his Mum, his presence in our home means we already have 2 wonderful children.

But then at times my mind swings the other way again – wouldn’t it be lovely for Emma to have another sibling closer in age to her? Wouldn’t they have so much fun together playing on the beach and torturing each other for years as they grow up? Would she feel like she was missing out as her friends seem to have brothers and sisters on the way? There are so many ‘what-if’s’ on my mind and I just want to do what’s right for her. Am I being a bit selfish closing the door on it, as a lot of my reasoning to say no is more down to how sleep deprived I still feel and how inconceivable it seems that I’d cope with Emma’s tantrums along with a newborn’s cries.

Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve been trying to make the right decisions at the right times. I often beat myself up on whether I’m nailing the weaning and sleeping, whether I spotted that she was under the weather before sending her to nursery. Then when I notice her clothes are looking small, I wonder why I hadn’t clocked that before. I try to get everything just right for her, even when there are so many little things to pick up on.

However I’ve now made peace with the fact that there is no right time. I know I’m not the only one who had an unintended pregnancy, but out of this surprise came the most wonderful little girl I have ever met. I guess there is no knowing if I’m doing the right thing, but I just have to keep on going and judging it as it seems to me now. Using that Mummy intuition to make those decisions when I need to. When it comes to another baby – right now – I don’t think we’ll have another.

But never say never.

Guest Blog Series Bridie By The Sea Should We Have Another

 

You can find Bridget on the following social media platforms:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bridiebythesea

Facebook: https://facebook.com/bridiebythesea

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bridiebythesea

Pinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/bridiebythesea

And of course don’t forget to check out her fabulous blog over at Bridie By The Sea.

 

I want to say a huge thank you to Bridget for guest posting this week and for sharing thoughts that many of us are probably secretly or not so secretly thinking. I am in total agreement with her when she wonders, how do you know. And Bridget, don’t forget to grab your ‘featured on’ badge from the bottom of the page.

 

If you would like to get involved in the Guest Blogger Series, drop me a message by filling in the form on my Contact Me page. I look forward to hearing from you.

JakiJellz

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25 Comments

  1. 1st April 2017 / 1:05 am

    I’m currently debating the same question. On the one hand, if Peachy is an only child she gets all our attention and resources. On the other hand, she will be alone. I just don’t know what to do! #PoCoLo

  2. 2nd April 2017 / 1:46 pm

    When we had our first I knew straight away that I wanted a second, then 10.5 months after our first number two arrived in the world. I knew though, as soon as I set eyes on her that she would be our last. Our little family complete! It’s definitely not an easy decision to have more children. Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza, hope to see you again next week xx
    The Tale of Mummyhood recently posted…#Blogstravaganza #13My Profile

  3. Nige
    2nd April 2017 / 8:33 pm

    Bridget’s blog is one of my favourite reads fab blog this post is truly brilliant and very honest loved it Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  4. 4th April 2017 / 8:17 am

    After I had my first daughter my main thought was “Never again!” I’m not sure exactly how it happened (ok, ok, I kind of know HOW …) but I just had my second 2 weeks ago and my first thought after that birth was “I want more!” Crazy, eh?
    #TriumphantTales
    Jaclyn Bree recently posted…Plans vs Reality for My Last Single-Child DayMy Profile

  5. 4th April 2017 / 8:37 am

    Fab post. When I met my husband he had three children already. I knew I wanted children, but wasn’t sure if he wanted more. Thankfully he did and we have twins, but I think if we’d only had one, I’d definitely want another. It’s such a personal decision to make though and everyone is different. #TriumphantTales

  6. 4th April 2017 / 9:05 am

    I had 3 boys and inherited 2 older step children, there was an assumption that with a family full of boys and a new relationship that we should try for a child together and try for a girl, sadly my husband daughter, our only girl is profoundly disabled and with 5 children already, the thought of risking everything to try for a baby together would’ve been just too much, but it didn’t stop people asking and assuming.
    chickenruby recently posted…Coping with a disabled adult child.My Profile

  7. 4th April 2017 / 11:23 am

    This was our issue when my husband and I had our first child together, we already had an 8 year old Lewis and had been so lucky to have our daughter. We decided that we wanted Eva to grow up with a sibling closer in age, and just 15 months later along came Megan. Then we knew that we were absolutely done, and yet 12 months later along came Harry. Sometimes you have to just leave it to fate! #triumphanttales
    five little doves recently posted…Win a family pass to Geronimo Festival!My Profile

  8. 4th April 2017 / 1:37 pm

    It’s so difficult to decide – we also have one, and sometimes I think it would be nice to have another, but at other times I cannot imagine going back to the sleepness nights and round the clock feeds again! Hoping that if it’s time to have another one, my body will send out the ‘broody’ signals and give me a hint!!! #TriumphantTales
    @MumMalarkey recently posted…Hurrah for cousins!My Profile

  9. 4th April 2017 / 4:45 pm

    I loved this so much. I only have one and she is 9 in a few weeks. I have struggled most of her life trying to decide if I wanted to ever have another. Especially since I never had a really good partner that I thought would be a good father. I am now in a very loving relationship and yearn so much to have another. This is such a great part of the series. #TriumphantTales
    Brittany | A Mindful Geek recently posted…A Review of Beauty and the BeastMy Profile

  10. 4th April 2017 / 8:20 pm

    Even though my little girl is only 2 months old, i do wonder if and when we should have another. Right at this moment with the lack of sleep and a crying baby my answer is…no! For now i cant imagine doing it all again with a toddler in tow! No doubt in about a year i will change my mind haha.
    #TriumphantTales

  11. 4th April 2017 / 10:22 pm

    People ask us a lot now our son is 2, I think I am happy at staying with the one but would never say never. #TriumphantTales

  12. 5th April 2017 / 9:51 pm

    I love Bridget’s blog. Having siblings was always important to me so I knew I would always have at least 2. After my second we pondered were we done, the sleep deprivation, the expense of having another, the practicalities etc. However, I knew I wasn’t done. I have recently given birth to my third and he is the best thing I have ever done. I am so happy we went for it. (If you are wondering I am definitely done now!!) #bloggersclubuk
    natalie recently posted…A family adventure to DevonMy Profile

  13. 6th April 2017 / 9:08 am

    That conversation!! Should we have another, it’s such a hard conversation and there really is never a good time to have another child there are plenty of people who will offer advice and pros:cons of both short and long age gaps. A ew baby is never easy! Lol… ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬
    Karen TwoTinyHands recently posted…Play Doh! On #FamilyFunLinkyMy Profile

  14. 6th April 2017 / 12:34 pm

    It’s such a tricky decision to make – I go back and forth about what I want on a regular basis. The problem is that I’m nearly 35, so I feel like I don’t have a lot of time to decide. The clock is ticking…#ablogginggoodtime
    The Squirmy Popple recently posted…Why do British babies cry so much?My Profile

  15. 6th April 2017 / 4:35 pm

    What a wonderful, heartfelt post! I agree that there is no knowing when is the right time, but I definitely knew, as soon as my 4th baby was born, that our family was complete 😉
    If that’s any help, I have found that there is less sweating the small stuff, and more joy, with a larger family.
    #ablogginggoodtime

  16. 6th April 2017 / 11:17 pm

    I can totally relate to this, it’s impossible to know when your family is complete and almost think unless you KNOW it is complete, surely that means deep down it isn’t? My main reasons for not wanting another make me feel selfish but also I know what a huge impact it would have n the kids and having to split our time and cuddles in another direction does take something away from them so maybe it isn’t as selfish as it first seems. Such a hard thing and I almost wish an ‘accident’ would happen to take the decision away from me 😉 xx

    #FriYAYLinky
    laura recently posted…The FriYAY Linky >> 7 – 14th April 2017My Profile

  17. 10th April 2017 / 2:30 pm

    I completely get where Bridget is coming from. We have only one child and I have actually written a post all about why I am reluctant to have a second child. There are a host of reasons but I too haven’t said a final No. I thought I’d have at least two children in quick succession but we didn’t and as time marches on I’m less and less inclined to return to nappies, breastfeeding on demand and sleepless nights. And yet family are constantly asking are we having another. #BloggerClubUK

  18. 11th April 2017 / 8:51 pm

    We’ve just had baby number three and before that I thought that would be ‘it’ – now I’m not so sure! As Bridie says never say never!! #familyfunlinky
    Crummy Mummy recently posted…5 ways parenting is easier in summerMy Profile

  19. 12th April 2017 / 8:15 pm

    Bridie is one of my absolute fave bloggers ever. what a wonderful post – id love another but unfortunately do not have a sperm donor so maybe at some point. who knows.
    thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
    Mummy in a TuTu recently posted…What Happened to Me?My Profile

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