What I’ve Learnt Since Becoming A Huff Post Blogger

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I had no clue I’d be writing this post so early into my experience. It’s been two weeks people, two weeks. No time at all really. But in those two short weeks I have learnt a great deal since I became a Huff Post blogger.

I’m not naive. I know there are some unkind people in the world. I know about keyboard warriors. I’ve just never experienced them first hand before. Until now.

What I've Learnt From Being a Huff Post Blogger

Unbelievably all of the posts I have submitted have made it to a front page of some kind. Most of them the front page for the particular category it was put into, but last week Β I made the main front page with my post ‘My Child Broke Me’. You may have read the original here on this blog. It was well received so I decided to share it further afield.

Huff Post contacted me and told me they loved this particular post and and wanted to save it for the weekend to go on their main page. I was over the moon about this, as you can imagine. I still am. What an achievement?!

Along with the front page came their social media promotion. Twitter and of course Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook at the best of times for the very same reason that I wasn’t surprised to start receiving the typical, judgemental, downgrading, bigoted comments that I did.

Here are a someΒ examples:

Oh for goodness sake, My son “broke” me,…how dramatic can you get ! He did not “break ” you missus he just had a paddy in a store, he just dented your ego for a wee while,we have all been there !

What a non-article.
All kids can be shits we all know this. We’ve all had days like this hardly something of importance

“Polly Filler” writing at its worst.

I couldn’t even read all of it because what I read already sounds pathetic. If she wants a well behaved child she needs to learn how to parent it’s simple. Clearly it works both my kids are well behaved especially when out on road. I’m tired of parents like these wanting to hear from other lazy parents so they don’t feel useless on their own.

The article was written when I was in very emotional place, of which no one knows the reason why. The article doesn’t detail that the tantrums I described had been going on for weeks and I was at my wits end. I don’t think any justification is needed for my feelings. Feelings that I know every parent feels. I still don’t.

I was very proud of this article and I still am. For the handful of nasty, unnecessary comments I received, the article had been ‘liked’, ‘loved’ and ‘shared’ twenty or thirty times over on Facebook alone and over one hundred times on The Huff Post. I think that speaks for itself.

I think the comments that were left say more about the people that are writing them than they do about me – the person they were writing them about. In all honesty, the majority were written by older people who should know better.

What I've Learnt From Being a Huff Post Blogger

I didn’t add fuel to the fire and respond back – as much as it is tempting to, even now. I merely ‘liked’ their comments back, as if to say “I’ve seen what you have said, and I really don’t care!”

I’m not upset by the comments – my shoulders are broad enough for it. I’m just disappointed for the parents out there going through similar feelings who might be in a much darker place, who may read these comments and take more notice of them rather than the message in the article – that it’s totally normal to feel this way during parenting.

I was brought up to believe that if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all. It’s sad that not more people are like this. I’m so glad I have more to do with my time than to sit belittling people who have shared an honest, raw and private experience. Like I said. It says more about them than me.

It’s not put me off. I’m just more determined than ever to continue, along with my fellow Mummy bloggers, to talk about real life parenting and not the sugar coated version. And if anyone has anything to say about that then bring it on. I can pity them, safe in the knowledge that I’m a nice person and not like them in the slightest. I know what kind of person I’d rather be.

What I've Learnt From Being a Huff Post Blogger

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68 Comments

  1. 13th November 2016 / 9:47 am

    A well written post and well done for not letting these people get you down! I’m not a parent, but I find it unacceptable when people decide to write belittling comments and telling others they’re bad or lazy parents. Nobody knows the whole story but yourself and not everything can be summarized in a post.
    Keep up the writing.

    Maya | londondamsel.co.uk

    • Jaki
      13th November 2016 / 10:12 am

      Thank you. For every one horrible person there are ten people like you who have lovely things to say and for that I am grateful. X

  2. 13th November 2016 / 9:25 pm

    Well done on your posts doing so well! I don’t know why people feel the need to be mean πŸ™ Like you said, just don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say x
    Jenny recently posted…French road trip part 3: Arras & PierrefondsMy Profile

    • Jaki
      13th November 2016 / 10:20 pm

      Exactly! I think some people just can’t help themselves and perhaps do it to help them feel better about themselves – in some warped way! I feel sorry for them. Thanks for your kind words and for reading. X

  3. 13th November 2016 / 10:53 pm

    Well done your for your writing. And well done you for being strong, and ignoring those bullies. I can’t believe people, let alone other parents can act like that!
    Sarah recently posted…{The Ordinary Moments #4} BreastfeedingMy Profile

    • Jaki
      14th November 2016 / 5:18 pm

      Quite!! Poor kids!! Bullies only win if you let them. This is my big ‘up yours’! πŸ˜„ thanks for the congrats x

  4. 14th November 2016 / 11:38 am

    Congratulations on your success and f**k the haters! When we blog, we lay ourselves bare. However, they only give people some of the picture. They are a snippet of a much bigger picture. This means that if someone is inclined to judge us on that snippet they will, without thinking to themselves that there is more to it. It’s horrible getting nasty comments and I agree with all your quotes. Keep telling them to yourself and keep up your fantastic writing. Alison x #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki
      14th November 2016 / 5:12 pm

      Thanks so much. It’s really nice to know that there’s people out there that get me! So appreciated. X

  5. 14th November 2016 / 1:42 pm

    Ugh.. that is just horrid. You have a super attitude towards it and you are fantastic writer who has achieved loads. Comments like that usually come from a very insecure place. Damn those silly turtles. Great post! #AnythingGoes
    Shinners and the Brood recently posted…You’re Doing a Great Job!My Profile

    • Jaki
      14th November 2016 / 5:11 pm

      Thanks so much. It’s always nice to hear something positive after an influx of negativity. Not that that’s why I wrote it!! But thank you – I appreciate it! πŸ™‚

  6. 15th November 2016 / 7:58 am

    Huge well done on being published on the huff post, it’s awesome. The commenters are trolls because their jealous that no one will listen or read their moans, rants, tantrums and hardships. Keyboard warriors! #MarvMondays

    • Jaki
      15th November 2016 / 8:51 am

      Thank you Kat and I completely agree with you! They hide behind their phones or computers and I bet they wouldn’t be so brave as to say it to my face. Thanks for reading.

  7. 15th November 2016 / 8:26 am

    Firstly, huge congratulations!! Just so exciting and well deserved. Secondly, you poor love – why are people so unkind? It is bullying and funnily enough the last post I read on this linky was about bullying teens – this experience you’ve had could also be interpreted as bullying – these same people wouldn’t have been kind at school – just despicable! Well done for being so brave! #DreamTeam

    • Jaki
      15th November 2016 / 8:53 am

      Ah thank you. I’d never really thought of it like that but I suppose you are right. To be upset would be to let them win and I’m not having that! This is my big up yours to them! Thanks so much – really appreciated!

  8. 15th November 2016 / 8:27 am

    Ignore the criticism. The fact that Huffington Post wanted tp use the article speaks volumes and you should rightly proud! #dreamteam

    • Jaki
      15th November 2016 / 8:53 am

      That’s what I figured! Thank you – means a lot.

  9. 15th November 2016 / 8:33 pm

    I’m sorry people decided to be a-holes on your post. There’s something about the internet that makes people want to put on their judgy pants. Instead, concentrate on all the shares and the fact that the Huff Po wanted to promoted. Haters gonna hate – just ignore them. #DreamTeam
    Squirmy Popple recently posted…My toddler is breaking my backMy Profile

    • Jaki
      15th November 2016 / 8:54 pm

      That’s exactly what I’ve done. They don’t bother me at all. The shares are amazing and that’s a good feeling πŸ™‚ thanks a million.

  10. 16th November 2016 / 6:09 am

    Great post hun I love this especially the last quote. you should be so proud of yourself – I’d love to feature on the Huff so well done you! The people who leave such hideous and stupid comments are cowards hiding behind a screen when they should be instinctively supportive to other parents. And I think your writing is fantastic! xx #candidcuddles

    • Jaki
      16th November 2016 / 10:21 am

      Thank you SO much that means such a lot. xx

  11. 16th November 2016 / 9:52 am

    Eurgh there will always be these people. Probably who can’t admit to themselves parenting is flipping hard so lash out. As others have said huff wouldn’t have wanted it and used it as a front page if not fab work! Keep at it and well done. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
    Sarah Howe @runjumpscrap recently posted…Best and Worst Week #74My Profile

    • Jaki
      16th November 2016 / 10:20 am

      Thanks Sarah – everyone is being so lovely about this. A nice reassurance that the world definitely isn’t full of horrible people!! πŸ˜€ x

  12. 16th November 2016 / 10:07 am

    Hi there!
    Popping over from #Bestandworst

    Well done on sharing your story. There are a lot of keyboard warriors our there who forget a real person wrote the blog. Keep sharing your stories to help yourself and others. May you climb to even greater heights πŸ™‚

    • Jaki
      16th November 2016 / 10:19 am

      Ahh thanks so much! What a lovely comment. x

  13. 16th November 2016 / 10:16 am

    Huge congratulations to you on your success! You are spot on about all those people posting negative comments. The comment about well behaved children when out, really? Your kids are always impeccably behaved when out? As a general rule, both my girls were and still are great out and about, but they ‘re not superhuman and did have meltdowns from time to time. It’s what kids do! Well done for rising above it all #bestandworst x

    • Jaki
      16th November 2016 / 10:18 am

      Thanks so much. The support I’ve had from this post has been overwhelming – because we are all realistic parents!! Thanks for commenting – much appreciated πŸ™‚ x

  14. 16th November 2016 / 4:28 pm

    Congratulations on your success as a Huff Post Blogger. The fact you’re writing for them in the first place is down to your great writing skills so would ignore the keyboard warriors and continue to produce great content #MarvMondays

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 12:44 am

      Thank you. That’s another great way to look at it. Your comments are really appreciated.

  15. 16th November 2016 / 5:51 pm

    Congratulations on your success, and on writing something so good that it attracted so much attention, negative or otherwise. I don’t know what is wrong with people, that they think it’s ok to be so disgustingly vile to others. What exactly do they hope to gain? I’m glad you have broad shoulders, but they didn’t know that when they wrote their negative comments. If it was me, I would have felt crushed. The success would have been tarnished forever. I’m over-sensitive like that, and I’m really glad you’re not, and that this has only made you stronger. Keep it up! #FamilyFun

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 12:44 am

      Thanks so much that’s really appreciated. I love the blogging community so much and this post has just proved we all have each other’s backs. Such lovely comments.

  16. 16th November 2016 / 9:35 pm

    So terrible people made those remarks. I remember that post and I remember it being really moving. There are always some people out there though who think they know best; Who think anyone who is struggling is clearly just weak. But the quotes you’ve included are completely spot on. We need to learn to shrug off comments like those. One of my favourite quotes also applies here: “You never know enough about someone’s life to judge them. So just be kind.”. Well done on your success. Don’t let it be undermined by a few nasty people! #FamilyFun
    Angela Watling recently posted…30 Days Blogging – Day 10: my top 5 pet peevesMy Profile

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 12:42 am

      Great quote. You can’t beat a good quote to make you feel better about things. Thanks so much for your kind words, the support and encouragement I’ve had for this post has been overwhelming.

  17. 16th November 2016 / 11:35 pm

    Love this post. Thank you for your honesty. Hugs to you. I also really liked all the quotes you used. How appropriate and just what a lot of us need to read every. single. day. You’re doing great, mama. #familyfun

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 12:41 am

      Thank you so much. Such a lovely comment that means a lot.

  18. 17th November 2016 / 1:19 pm

    I love the turtle quote – it sums these people up very well!
    As Taylor Swift says, haters gonna hate. The worst thing about it is most of them probably don’t even have kids. they set up fake FB profiles to troll people. I mean how sad is that? I always say if you’re going to leave negative comments, at least have the balls to do it under your real name!
    In my opinion, you’re nailing the blogging and the parenting – maybe these people are just jealous because you dare to speak the truth!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes πŸ™‚
    Debbie
    Random Musings recently posted…5 Books I Am Excited About!My Profile

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 1:25 pm

      Thanks so much Debbie – that is such a nice thing to read and for you to say! If anything, the whole experience has been good for me – I’ve had so much support from this post alone. Thanks again πŸ™‚

  19. 17th November 2016 / 2:45 pm

    Massive congratulations to you lovely! A Huffpost blogger no less? That’s such a massive blogging achievement and I have absolutely no doubt that your writing will be a massive support to so many other parents out there feeling exactly the same. As for the keyboard warriors – I have absolutely no idea why they feel the need to spread the hate. Have your words genuinely bothered them so much that they feel compelled to spit venom at their screens? I just don’t get it. I think they just get a sad little kick out of it and I think that you have exactly the right attitude by just giving them a little “like” to acknowledge that you’ve read it and quite frankly could not give a toot. Good for you! I think your writing is fantastic, and anyone that has issue with it needs to just, you know, not read it! Problem solved! πŸ˜‰ Wishing you even more success in the future! xxx #coolmumclub

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 9:03 pm

      Awwww this is such a lovely comment. Thank you so so much. After you’ve been battered a bit it’s always nice to read things like this – not that that is why I wrote it, but I’m sure you know what I mean. I didn’t expect to get the support that I have for this post! Thanks so much x

  20. 17th November 2016 / 8:18 pm

    Well done you! I haven’t gotten into huff post but I see and hear of plenty of my fellow bloggers having similar situations to yourself where they Trolls come out and be nasty. It’s just mean and nasty half the time from people who haven’t really read the article written. You do right to rise above it. Well done again! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun!
    Karen : TwoTinyHands recently posted…Another Trip to the Park – With Muddy PuddlesMy Profile

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 9:09 pm

      Thank you. Trolls are what they are! Maybe that means I’ve made it?!? πŸ˜† Thanks so much.

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 9:10 pm

      Thank you. I have risen above it and now don’t even look – which is a shame, as it’s nice to see it shared by them to their thousands of followers, but I think it’s for the best.

  21. 17th November 2016 / 8:42 pm

    I can’t believe that people would write things like that! I’m still pretty much in a bloggers-only bubble for my blog at the moment (and bloggers are such supportive, encouraging people) so I’ve never experienced anything like this. I would be so upset. Especially when you’re writing from the heart. But, as you say, lots (if not all) parents feel like this at times and even if just one person reads your article and feels a little less lonely, you’ve done a great thing. It sounds like you’re dealing with it all really well. Go you! Rise above it! #CoolMumClub
    Lucy At Home recently posted…Scootlock: Safe Scooters (giveaway & discount code)My Profile

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 9:12 pm

      Ah thank you. That’s made me feel much better about it. I refused to give them the satisfaction of getting to me. They are clearly deluded!!! πŸ˜„ Knowing I may have helped someone feel better makes me feel better. Thank you.

  22. 17th November 2016 / 8:57 pm

    I once heard someone say that when you get a bit of trolling, you have really made it πŸ™‚ So congrats! Sounds like you are taking it on the chin – keep going and relish in your Huff post glory! awesome!
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
    MMT recently posted…#coolmumclub Linky week 45My Profile

    • Jaki
      17th November 2016 / 9:12 pm

      Thank you – I like this a lot! A great way to look at it!! πŸ™‚

  23. 18th November 2016 / 6:53 pm

    I did actually read that post of yours, and thought it was great. I also read some of the not-so-nice comments that were left and they just made me sad. There’s just no need for it. Surely all us parents are in this together? Love this post though, sounds like you’ve got a great attitude about it all. Their comments really do say more about them than about you. x #CandidCuddles

    • Jaki
      19th November 2016 / 9:05 pm

      I think so. And thank you for reading the post originally. I was startled when I first read the comments. Shocked and then a little sad. And then I realised that I’m better than that. Funnily enough it’s been more well received on the actual Huff Post Parents page when it was shared today – I think that tells us a lot too! Thanks so much. X

  24. 18th November 2016 / 9:11 pm

    Oh my god that is horrendous, that last comment in particular is just vile. I don’t understand why people take it upon themselves and think it is OK to be just rude. It really gets my back up. You know what they say now, the haters going to going. I am glad you have thick skin, although you shouldn’t need it and more to the point congratulations on having written such a bloody fab post that the Huff wanted to main page it! Thanks for sharing at #FamilyFun xx
    tammymum recently posted…#FamilyFun…Week 11My Profile

    • Jaki
      19th November 2016 / 9:02 pm

      Ah thank you. I just pity them. They can’t be human to have not experienced this like most of us who are true!! Thanks so much.

  25. 18th November 2016 / 10:53 pm

    Obviously you are quite a talent and it is sad to me to think that someone may make you doubt that for even a minute. People can be such a**holes truly. Guarantee that not a one of them could phrase their thoughts anywhere nearly as eloquently as you do. Be proud of your achievements and feel sorry for the miserable sacks of bones who spewed such nastiness. #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      19th November 2016 / 8:50 pm

      Aw thank you so much. This post has done wonders for my confidence and reassured me how many supportive people are out there. Thanks so much. So kind.

  26. 19th November 2016 / 9:37 am

    Congrats on writing for huff post. Some of the comments you shared are unbelievable. But like you said you should be proud of your post. The negative comments just show what type of people they are. Thanks for sharing #familyfun
    shaney (imummyblog) recently posted…Now you are 3!My Profile

    • Jaki
      19th November 2016 / 8:48 pm

      Completely agree. Thanks so much for your kind words.

  27. 19th November 2016 / 2:38 pm

    Negative comments are a clear indicator of jealousy. You have achieved so much, ignore all the trolls, delete their comments and sit back and bask in your success to date. #familyfun

    • Jaki
      19th November 2016 / 8:47 pm

      I’ll do just that. Thanks so much.

  28. 19th November 2016 / 11:26 pm

    I’ll be honest, I never realised how easy it is actually is to get on the Huff or how little traffic it drives to one’s site until a couple of months after I first featured. I stopped submitting my posts when I noticed but resubmitted with the whole Trump thing as it is still a decent backlink. Anyway, the great thing is non blogging followers don’t know (!) so it still comes across as major kudos as far they are concerned. However getting picked for the Huff’s front page is AMAAAAAAZING!! Well done Jaki. You must be thrilled. That is SUCH an achievement! As for the Facebastards, (sorry but keyboard warriors are deserving of a swear word!), I am so sorry. What a comedown from your Huff cloud 9 feeling. I’m super impressed you didn’t let it get to you though; I’d have argued back with them! You seem to be doing really well in your blog endeavours whilst the keyboard warriors are probably just sitting around achieving nothing πŸ™‚ #candidcuddles PS love the giraffe!

    • Jaki
      20th November 2016 / 3:03 pm

      No, same! It was really easy, but I was super chuffed with the whole front page thing. If not to get traffic but to get some exposure with my writing full stop. It was much more well received on the Huff Post UK Parents when it was shared this weekend – this to me speaks VOLUMES!! Thanks for such a lovely comment. PS, the giraffe quote has become a firm favourite!! πŸ™‚ x

  29. 20th November 2016 / 2:56 pm

    Firstly, a huge congratulations on making the front page with your posts. That’s clearly a fab achievement in itself, let alone being a HuffPost blogger. I mean… hel-l-o… HuffPost blogger coming through. Whoop whoop. I love your writing style and I don’t see any reason why people would have made silly comments like that. Other than, that they are entirely bored and didn’t have the skills to write anything positive or constructive about the topic you have written about. Love that you have liked the comments anyway, that will certainly take the wind out of their sails.

    Thanks so much for sharing with the #DreamTeam x
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…Make Your Blog Feel Like Home – Blog TemplateMy Profile

    • Jaki
      20th November 2016 / 2:59 pm

      Thanks Annette, I’d like to think so anyway! Clearly they gave nothing better to do with their time! Thank you for your congratulations too πŸ™‚ x

  30. 23rd November 2016 / 7:21 am

    First of all well done for getting noticed and making it to their front page. Second, despite it being difficult, the trolls are largely missing the point that this was your emotional response. The irony of the comment ‘we’ve all been there’ is there for all to see: yes we’ve been there but sometimes you forget what that moment actually feels like. Take absolutely zero notice and carry on the good work.
    #familyfun

    • Jaki
      24th November 2016 / 9:49 pm

      Absolutely! It was written within an hour after it happened. Even I can look back and think “Surely it wasn’t that bad?!” But at the time it really did feel it. I just tell myself that they’re not clever enough to understand. Thanks for such a positive comment. It means a lot. 😊

  31. 23rd November 2016 / 3:56 pm

    Congratulations on getting on with Huff Post. I would be worried about getting negative comments, and I tend to take things personally, but you’re right, it definitely says more about them than you. I’ve not read the post but will go back now. At the end of the day you’re a parenting blogger so there will be posts about things that are hard. People should just keep their belittling comments to themselves though. Don’t let the buggers grind you down. #FamilyFun

    • Jaki
      24th November 2016 / 9:57 pm

      Thanks Susie, I haven’t. The response I’ve had to this blog post alone has proved to me what complete idiots I was dealing with. I’m so glad I didn’t rise to it! Thanks for your lovely comment. X

  32. 23rd November 2016 / 3:56 pm

    Congratulations on getting on with Huff Post. I would be worried about getting negative comments, and I tend to take things personally, but you’re right, it definitely says more about them than you. I’ve not read the post but will go back now. At the end of the day you’re a parenting blogger so there will be posts about things that are hard. People should just keep their belittling comments to themselves though. Don’t let the buggers grind you down. #FamilyFun

    • Jaki
      23rd December 2016 / 10:47 am

      Thanks for this. For some reason your comment has only just appeared. Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a nice comment πŸ™‚

  33. 23rd November 2016 / 10:04 pm

    Many congratulations for being on Huff Post =) Excellent job to you! And I suppose with that sort of greatness, some ugly can come out. Sigh. Choosing to keep your head high and classy is a big old quiet middle finger to those who felt compelled to cast negative vibes your way =). From one nice mommy to another nice mommy. #bestandworst
    The Rambler recently posted…10 things to say if you were filthy rich.My Profile

    • Jaki
      24th November 2016 / 10:05 pm

      Ah thanks so much. You are very right. Thankfully the negative comments were minimal in comparison to the negative, but it’s always the ugly ones that stand out with things like this. It’s safe to say I’m over it. Thanks for a lovely comment, lovely Mummy 😊x

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