Anyone who ever says that having a child won’t change them needs to realise early on that they are being incredibly naïve.
I used to think that it couldn’t possibly change me that much. I mean I’m still the same person. I have the same head on the same shoulders that contains the same brain that’s attached to the same body, that walks and talks the same, so how can I change that much?
It dawned on me the other night. I started off thinking of something really trivial and it was the realisation that these days, the only type of Tweeting or Facebooking I get to do is that of the nocturnal kind. You know the kind when everyone else is in bed and it’s only time of day that you get a precious few minutes to yourself, to do what you want to do with no interruptions. That lead me on to realising that partly the main reason that I am still a tired Mummy, is because I stay up far later than I should do, making the most of this time. Before I know it, it can be gone midnight and I realise that my little boy will be waking up in possibly under six hours and I need to recharge my batteries in that short space time.
Needless to say, the inevitable happens and I am pretty tired the next day. That didn’t used to happen. I used to love my sleep.
I couldn’t imagine wanting to spend my money on anything other than clothes, or make up or music or shoes, of course! Well, these days, how can I put it? It just doesn’t happen! In fact I feel like I am so out of the loop when it comes to fashion that when I actually do go into a shop, once in a blue moon, I haven’t the first clue where to start looking. I mean don’t get me wrong. I’m not walking around in clothes that look out of place, but I’m certainly not ‘on trend’ like I used to be. You know, like “down with the kids!”. That depresses me a little bit and it is something I need to sort out. On the flip side though, I know what’s on trend for toddling little boys, because that is where my clothes money goes these days. Ah well. At least one of us is trendy.
Watching the latest films and TV programmes used to be something I looked forward to. These days Cbeebies and Nick Jnr are the most watched channels and Peppa Pig and Mr Tumble are frequent guests in our house. That’s just what happens!
Going out for an evening used to be something I took for granted. It rarely happens these days. And when it does, the stupidly ironic thing is that I don’t feel the same at all. I am constantly checking my phone to make sure there’s no missed calls or texts to say ‘He needs you!’. (Which of course, there never is!) And, he’s always on my mind. So the night out isn’t really enjoyed in the same way as it used to be. Because I’m always thinking that I should be somewhere else.
The list is in fact pretty endless and if we were to go through them all, we would be here all day and that isn’t practical when I clearly have other things that I need to be doing! But to sum things up, you really do change when you have a child. Whether you think you won’t or not. Trust me, YOU WILL. Because your priorities will change, which means you will change. It is inevitable. But it’s nothing to panic about. Because it is totally worth the sacrifice.
I know the old me is still here. She is still here and enjoys the same things as before, she just has to change things around a bit to be able to make time for them. They come second to the most important job of all and the biggest change I’ve ever known. Looking after the miracle that I created. And for me? That’s no hardship.