It’s guest post time already. These fortnightly instalments sure make the time go really quickly, don’t they?! This week we are hearing from Zara Lewis who is discussing how to find the right parenting style for you and your child.
Zara Lewis is a mum, fitness & yoga enthusiast and a regular writer for High Style Life. She is devoted to implementing healthy life habits in every aspect of the life of her family and friends. She loves to share her parenting tips and is always open to learning some new skills because she sees her parenthood as going to school forever. She enjoys travelling, hiking, cycling and baking.
Before you get into reading and analysing the characteristics of four main types of parenting styles, it’s essential to mention that there’s no one right style. As a parent, I became aware that a child can show many different types of behaviour that don’t always fall into one definite category and the way you deal with that cannot be achieved with only one specific parenting style if you wish your child to learn and grow up properly. In that respect, each of the following four parenting styles has something important to offer you.
Discipline, rules, discipline and some more rules. You basically get the gist of Authoritarian parenting style. This type of behaviour towards your child involves exposing your child to a set of rules that they need to follow unconditionally. Unfortunately, most of the time, there’s a lack of explanation as to why these rules are so important to follow. If a parent is completely devoted to this type of parenting, children will probably grow up to be very diligent and obedient, but they will almost surely lack the much-needed self-esteem for proper socialisation. In some cases, rebellious phase in teen years can get out of control. Rules are definitely very important for a child, but if they spend their entire childhood feeling pressured, that won’t be a healthy environment to grow up in.
Even though they share a similar name, Authoritative parenting style greatly differs from Authoritarian parenting. Actually, most people would agree that this type of parenting is probably the best option for a healthy, happy and successful child. It also involves setting up rules that need to be followed, but the strictness and punishments characteristic of Authoritarian parenting are not there. Instead, children are given reasons and explanations for the importance of certain rules, they are encouraged to overcome obstacles with positive reinforcement and generally treated as capable and responsible. In theory, this type of parenting would allow your child to grow into a confident and cheerful adult, able to analyse different situations and solve problems. Still, it is one of the most difficult styles to follow through in practice since it requires utmost patience and devotion from a parent.
Permissive, indulgent or attachment parenting all stand for one specific pattern of parenting style. In this case, parents usually opt for a role of a friend more than that of a parent. The lack of discipline is obvious, which can foster some bad behavioural habits in a child later on. Still, this type of parenting is perfect for bonding in early years. Showering your child with unconditional love as they are still very young will definitely strengthen the relationship between you. Constant contact thanks to baby carrier and comfy newborn wrap will allow you to spend time with your child whatever you do, be it outdoor errands or taking a nap together on the bed. Still, it’s essential to stress that, while being extremely permissive during your child’s early years is very beneficial, the benefits will only start to disappear if you don’t take up a different approach as kids grow older.
Uninvolved parenting style, also known as neglectful parenting, is definitely not something that you should consider. It’s characterised with complete neglect and disinterest in your child’s life other than their basic needs. No bonding, no attention and no expression of love and care are things that make children grow up to be insecure, unruly and distrustful. Not only that but children who are left alone to figure out the world, often perform poorly in academic studies and social contact. Apart from using this parenting style as the ultimate bad example, the other reason for mentioning it is the undisputable fact that sometimes, on very specific occasions, you will have to let your child deal with a certain problem on their own. It’s very important that you stay aware that your hero-role and over-protectiveness won’t always be for the greater good.
Children don’t need a teacher or a boss from the first day that they’re born but they don’t need an adult friend either. What they need is proper guidance, respect and support. Unfortunately, there’s no instruction manual that will tell you when to act this or that way. It’s up to you as a parent to analyse the specific situation and act the way it will benefit the child the most in the long run.
What children need is proper guidance, respect and support. Click To Tweet You can find Zara on Twitter under the handle @ZaraELewis and find her other articles online at High Style Life.
Thankyou, Zara, for a really helpful and insightful post. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will find this informative and helpful! Don’t forget to help yourself to the Featured badge at the bottom of the page!
Please do feel free to leave us your thoughts in the comments below.