Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

A little over four years ago I became a Mum for the first time, and so far, this is the only time that I have become a Mum. I have an only child. I am a Mum to just one. Does this make me less of a Mum than those with two, three, four or even five children?

These thoughts started creeping into my mind around Mother’s Day. Perhaps they had cropped up prior to that, but they definitely had a presence in my head last month when I was scouring online shopping sites for ideas for Mother’s Day gifts. I began to notice lots of gifts that were aimed at Mums with more than one child. Beautiful necklaces designed for the names of two children to be engraved. Photo frames with the words ‘Mum We Love You’ across them. Canvas family timelines with gaps for the births of more than one child.

Now, of course, there were other gifts that did concentrate on the Mum in question having just one child – and it may well have been my state of mind or that I was aware that I only had one child that made these other, unsuitable gifts stand out to me.

What if I wanted that gorgeous necklace, of that particular design? Yes it could be ordered with my Little Man’s name on it and the other area left blank, but how would that make me feel? What if I never filled that gap? Would it bring guilt later on in life? What if I never can fill that gap? Will it bring feelings of emptiness and being incomplete down the line?

Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

The decision for us to have a second child is never one I have gone into on my blog. I have mentioned in the past how people always love to ask the question. How we should never be made to feel the baby pressure. But it is a question that people love to ask us, especially now Little Man is preparing to start school this September. We have been content with our little family unit as it is and we have always said if we are meant to have another then we will. But I can’t help but think, if I only have one child and I never have another, am I less of a Mum?

I won’t have done everything twice, or three times over. I won’t have more than one experience of pregnancy, labour, childbirth – everything that entails bringing a small human into the world. Sometimes, having one child I am made to feel like I have it easy when I have heard comments such as ‘Well, at least you only have one!” Does that make it easier? Really?

Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

My one child doesn’t have a sibling to play with or help bring up, so in turn, demands more of my attention. Does that make my life easier? I don’t think so. I can’t leave him to his own devices to play on his own, as siblings might play together, the Mum in me can’t stand the guilt, so I don’t get as much done around the house because I’m concentrating on him. Does that make my life easier? Not when I have one hundred more things to do at night when he’s finally in bed it doesn’t. It makes it different to that life of a Mum of more than one, but not necessarily easier.

Yet still, I keep asking myself whether I am less of a Mum. The more I think about this, and now I have put it all down into words, the more I’m beginning to think that it’s not society that is making me feel like this, but more myself. Is it because I’m wondering more and more whether we should have another? Is it because I know I’m not getting any younger and I never wanted to be an older Mum? Is it because after over four years, I still don’t know if I want another?

Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

Wow. Writing is amazing therapy, if you’re a non-blogger reading this and don’t write, you should try it sometime!

The answer to my first question is a simple one and we all know the answer. Am I less of a Mum as a Mum to just one? Of course, I’m not. The Mother in me was born the day I brought my amazing little boy into the world. I grew him, I gave birth to him and every day since then, my entire life has been centred around him and his needs.

So no, I’m no less of a Mum at all. I’m more of a Mum than I ever thought I would be. So until we decide, that should be enough. And it is, it really is.

Am I Less Of A Mum As A Mum To Just One?

Are you a Mum to just one? How does it make you feel? Perhaps you have several children, what do you think? I’d love to know your thoughts.

 

I regularly link up to these lovely linkys.

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130 Comment

  1. Reply
    @MumMalarkey
    24th April 2017 at 8:59 am

    Lovely post! We too are being frequently asked the ‘time for another?’ question – and I honestly don’t know! I’m not sure I could go back to the sleepless nights and round-the-clock feeding, or how you put one to bed whilst looking after the other, or when you ever get to go to the loo??? But if we stick with one, that’s OK, because it will have been the right decision for our family. #MarvMondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:55 pm

      Yes! To this! ALL of this! I wouldn’t be sat here doing this if I had another to contend with! Time will tell with this quandary! Thank you xx

  2. Reply
    Fi - Beauty Baby and Me
    24th April 2017 at 9:31 am

    Mum to one, two, three or 10, you are a Mum! And you my friend are an amazing Mum xxx #marvmondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:54 pm

      Oh thank you lovely, that’s an amazing thing to say xx

  3. Reply
    RawMum
    24th April 2017 at 10:39 am

    The decision to go through with this just once is scary enough at the moment. Especially with the heartbreak of our first pregnancy ending in miscarriage. I often wonder about just having one as I love having a sister and wouldn’t want a child of mine to miss out on that. But can I do it twice? I’ll let you know after I’ve done it once!
    #Marvmondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:54 pm

      It is such a hard decision. I had it so easy last time too – it might not be a second time. Whatever decision we make will be the right one for us. So sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that must have been awful. xx

  4. Reply
    Jade @ Captured By Jade
    24th April 2017 at 12:20 pm

    As a mum of one, I find this post so relatable and am happy to have heard someone voice these thoughts. #MarvMondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:53 pm

      Ah thank you Jade. We are not alone in our thoughts judging by the comments on this post! Just remember you’re fab! xx

  5. Reply
    Fran Back With A Bump
    24th April 2017 at 12:35 pm

    It doesn’t matter if you’re mum to 1 or 10, you’re a mum and it’s bloody hard work at times as well as rewarding!! Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays x

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:52 pm

      Thanks Fran xx

  6. Reply
    Tubbs
    24th April 2017 at 12:58 pm

    Lovely post 🙂 Every family is the perfect size and shape. For some people that’s just the one and for others it’s more. It annoys me when people expect you to justify your choice.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:51 pm

      You are very right. Thank you xx

  7. Reply
    Lesley O'Donnell
    24th April 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Great piece Jaki x

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Thank you Lesley xx

  8. Reply
    Mrs Mummy Harris
    24th April 2017 at 9:35 pm

    i want more than one, but Hubby is happy with just us and im not sure if he will change his mind. For my birthday i was given money to get a tattoo relating to Ben but I dont know what design to get… similar to the necklace, do i get something for him alone? but then if i do, if i have another i would need another tattoo, but if i did one where i could add then id potentially have an unfinished tattoo for god knows how long!
    you’re not less of a mum to “just” little man, you are still a mum and a fab one at that! #marvmondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Two tattoos in two different places! 🙂 Hubby has two stars on his wrist one with ‘E’ in it and one with ‘J’ – but there is a gap, just in case. I sometimes find myself staring at it wondering if it will ever be filled in with another! Arghhh! Decisions!! Thanks lovely xx

      1. Reply
        Mrs Mummy Harris
        26th April 2017 at 10:22 pm

        ooo something with a gap in the middle would make my symmetrical ocd very happy! thanks for the idea! #bloggersclubUK

        1. Reply
          Mrs Mummy Harris
          27th April 2017 at 7:09 pm

          also #twinklytuesday… we need to stop posting at the same time as eachother hahahah!! you’re always my post before mine!

  9. Reply
    Sarah | Digital Motherhood
    24th April 2017 at 9:59 pm

    You’re definitely not less of a mum! Sounds like maybe you’re just not 100% convinced that you’ll stay at one? I have an only child, she’s 6 and we’re definitely not having another. Until she was around 4 I wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing, but I am happy about it now and don’t feel guilty or less of a mum. Like most of parenting it is easier as they get older! #MarvMondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:49 pm

      You are right. I’m not convinced, but I’m not convinced either way! Time will tell with this one! Thank you 🙂 xx

  10. Reply
    Berni
    24th April 2017 at 10:31 pm

    I’m a mum of just one. He’s 19 now. Amazing. Articulate. Sociable. He was never lonely. Never wished for siblings. I never regretted having just one. I loved every moment of raising him and still do love the opportunities he affords me to be mum xxx

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:48 pm

      This is good to read. Thank you. My little boy doesn’t even want a brother or a sister – he’s quite adamant! 🙂 Thank you xx

  11. Reply
    Katie Church
    25th April 2017 at 12:47 am

    A great post! We tried for 6 years for our little boy and were very open about it, yet people still ask if we will have more! One boss at work referred to me as ‘practicing’ with only having one!!
    #anythinggoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:47 pm

      Practicing?! For real? Tell me they didn’t have a single child?! Thank you. xx

      1. Reply
        Katie Church
        27th April 2017 at 10:11 pm

        They don’t, I think 2 or 3. I was just like what????
        #sharingthebloglove

  12. Reply
    Kerry
    25th April 2017 at 8:07 am

    Definitely not less of a mum! Fab post though, very thought provoking! #dreamteam

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Thank you. So pleased you enjoyed it. xx

  13. Reply
    Amanda
    25th April 2017 at 9:11 am

    It always seems like there is pressure to answer those personal questions in life, no matter where you are at of “another?” Or “are you stopping anytime soon?”
    But most definitely you are just as much of a mum as someone with ten kids. Mum is an honour of a title, and think of the privledge your baby has to call you mum. I always tell mine, “everyone can call me by my name, but you are the only one/s who can call me mum. You are special.” And mama, that goes for you, too. You are special. You are a mama and let no one make you think less of yourself, because numbers are just that.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:46 pm

      Oh that is so true! What a lovely thing to say. I will remember that one. Thank you so much xx

  14. Reply
    Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    25th April 2017 at 10:54 am

    I have recently done a few blogs posts and vlogs exploring how it is actually EASIER to have second and third children. Even now I have 3 people still ask if there will be another (sob probably not as my partner doesn’t want more but I do sob) You are still a mum, of course you are! #anythinggoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:45 pm

      Thank you so much. xx

  15. Reply
    Sarah
    25th April 2017 at 11:34 am

    This is a lovely, honest post. I definitely DEFINITELY don’t think it makes you any less of a mum. There’s no such thing. A mum to one or a mum to one hundred (can you imagine?! Haha), you’re just as much a mum as anyone.
    There’s too much pressure, and society saying you should have more than one child. But why? Who can tell you that?! You’re an amazing mumma. xxx

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:44 pm

      Thank you Sarah, that’s so kind. If anything, this post has made me realise all of this. Blogging is so good for the mind and soul! And 100 kids?! No thanks!! 😀 xx

  16. Reply
    Fran Back With A Bump
    25th April 2017 at 12:00 pm

    Back again and no you’re absolutely not a lesser mum! Thanks for hosting and choosing my post this week for #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:43 pm

      Thank you lovely lady xx

  17. Reply
    justsayingmum
    25th April 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Such a beautiful post. You write in such a way that always captivates me. It’s your honesty I think. I had never thought about the gifts from a mother of one perspective – just seems so thoughtless now you mention it but the consumer industry is like that I guess. You have your own reasons and you are by no means less a mum because you have one. You have time for one – my three all say they wish they had me to themselves – it’s hard to be the best I can when I’m spreading myself so thinly. It is always your decision and you’re right my lovely xx #MarvMondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:43 pm

      Oh Helen that is such a kind thing to say – coming from you as well – an amazing writer, that means an awful lot! Thank you so much. xx

  18. Reply
    pam lorimer
    25th April 2017 at 12:19 pm

    Lovely post. I hate the pressue and expectation on people, once you get a boyfriend its ‘whens the wedding? ‘ once you’re married its ‘whens the baby?’ Then ‘whens the next one?’ After our second i keep getting ‘oh you’ve got one of each thats you done.’ Is it? Surely thats for us to decide. Parental judgement is the pits. If you are happy with your family then thats all that matters. Mothers day and things like this always stir emotions up and make us question ourselves. Seems like your already an amazing mum to your little boy! Thought provoking post. #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:42 pm

      Thank you. It certainly made me think whilst I was writing it! I’m so pleased you enjoyed reading it. xx

  19. Reply
    Amy @ Arty apple
    25th April 2017 at 1:16 pm

    It’s a really thought provoking post and thankfully you of course realise that you are no less of a Mum than someone with 10 kids. And even if you had 2 you would just find something else to feel guilty about. The Mum guilt is delivered the day our first child is born, ha x

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:40 pm

      Oh isn’t it just?! It’s everywhere you go and in everything you do! 🙂 Thank you xx

  20. Reply
    The Tale of Mummyhood
    25th April 2017 at 1:33 pm

    Ah I love this. It doesn’t matter how many children we have, we put our hearts and soles into being the best Mothers we can be! #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:40 pm

      Thank you. I am pleased you enjoyed it 🙂 xx

  21. Reply
    Nicole - Tales from Mamaville
    25th April 2017 at 2:36 pm

    Such a lovely heartfelt post Jaki. I think becoming a mother is a life-changing event, irrespective of whether you mother one kid or more. It is a beautiful place to be, and is challenging and emotional nonetheless. Just enjoy it… if its meant to be, you will want and get another but being a mum of one makes you (or anyone else) no less of a mother.
    #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:39 pm

      By the end of my writing this post I totally got this! Thank you 🙂 xx

  22. Reply
    Kiki
    25th April 2017 at 3:53 pm

    I am a Mum to one, for the moment. I say that loosely as I dont know if I’ll have another or not. I’m an only child and it has its pros and cons. I always think about the same question, if I’m less of a Mum if I just have one child? I’ve had the question asked millions of times when will I have another or IF I will have another. I dont like either questions. I feel bad that my child doesnt have a sibling and best friend (something I’ve always missed out on and envied), but at the same time, I wouldnt want this to be the only reason for having another child. If you’re happy and content with just your family of three like my parents were, them good on you. Never doubt your decisions xx

    1. Reply
      Kiki
      25th April 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Forgot to hashtag my comment! Sorry. #TriumphantTales

    2. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:39 pm

      Thank you. I still don’t know! One day we will decide – or fate will! Thank you! xx

  23. Reply
    Ellamentalmama
    25th April 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Lovely post. I have an only son so can relate to a lot of this and totally agree. However, I’d love more but for now divorce has put a stop to it.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:38 pm

      Oh I’m sorry to hear that. It’s nice to know others can relate. I’m not alone in my thoughts. Thank you. xx

  24. Reply
    Ali Duke
    25th April 2017 at 6:23 pm

    I have 2 kids with a 7 year age gap. We were constantly asked when we were going to have a second. I wasn’t letting anyone else make that decision for me. You are an amazing mum no matter how many kids you decide to have.
    #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:37 pm

      There is a 7 year gap between me and my sister and it really doesn’t make any difference to us. We have a great relationship. Thank you. xx

  25. Reply
    MomOfTwoLittleGirls
    25th April 2017 at 6:38 pm

    I remember my first being about 4 months old when people started asking “when are you having another one?” I don’t think there is any right or wrong way to go about it. Whether you have one or four, or none for that matter, people will always ask if you’re having another. It’s like a rude compulsion, people can’t help themselves. I have 2 and a friend of mine has 4. I often feel less of a mother compared to her because she has double the number I do. But it’s just not the case.
    You’re a mum. Full Stop!
    #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:36 pm

      Thank you 🙂 xx

      1. Reply
        MomOfTwoLittleGirls
        27th April 2017 at 3:26 pm

        Back from #anythinggoes x

        1. Reply
          MomOfTwoLittleGirls
          30th April 2017 at 6:44 pm

          And #twinklytuesday xx

  26. Oh my goodness, I love this post! I want a second child but my husband isn’t sure. I can’t and wouldn’t force him so whilst he works out what he wants, I am left processing what it might mean if we don’t. One of the few things I have dwelt on is this exact question you pose in your blog post. And I completely agree with everything you have said! Whatever you ultimately decide, you are an awesome mum. Thanks for sharing this post. xx #DreamTeam

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:36 pm

      Isn’t it funny how we think we are alone in these thoughts?! I’m so glad I’m not! Thank you for such nice words 🙂 xx

      1. Definitely not alone on this! This past rant resonated work me so have no linked it as my #BlogCrush this week on Naptime Natter and Lucy at Home’s linky. Have a lovely Bank holiday weekend xx

        1. Reply
          Jaki
          28th April 2017 at 11:24 am

          Thank you Angela. That means an awful lot. So pleased you enjoyed the post. Thank you xx

  27. Reply
    Sarah Howe
    25th April 2017 at 9:01 pm

    Hun I have two and am still asked if I would have more! People just make small talk and it can be a bit annoying. Of course you are no less of a Mother; it is what is right for you and your beautiful family. My neighbour’s mates are having their third and she has questioned should she have more?? The pressure can be so silly and you know best. Thanks for hosting xx

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:35 pm

      Thanks lovely – everybody’s comments have been so great! 🙂 xx

  28. Reply
    Nige
    25th April 2017 at 9:01 pm

    Love this post so much honesty and of course it doesn’t make you less of a mum not a chance the pressure to have more than one is crazy and unnecessary. I believe we do what is right for us in my case 5 children my choice though great read thanks for hosting #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:34 pm

      Thanks Nige – writing the whole post was rather therapeutic!

  29. Reply
    Rachel
    25th April 2017 at 9:13 pm

    You answered your own question, your a mum no matter how many children you have. If you only want one then that’s up to you, if you want more than one than that’s up to you too! #AnythingGoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:33 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

  30. Reply
    Lisa Pomerantz
    25th April 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Simply lovely post and so happy to see how you resolved everythhing. That’s why I blog! Therapy — it works. I am so glad at the outcome you came to. Big hugs your way.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:57 pm

      Thank you Lisa. It was quite a journey! I didn’t anticipate on it coming out that way but I think it works well, and may have even helped a few others! Thank you xx

  31. Reply
    yvonne
    25th April 2017 at 9:53 pm

    You are right writing is amazing therapy. I dont think it matters if you are a mum to one or a mum to 6, you are still a mum. What matters is that you have each other 🙂 x #AnythingGoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      25th April 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Oh yes, what a lovely way to look at it. Really refreshing sentiment. Thank you. xx

  32. Reply
    fridgesays
    26th April 2017 at 6:06 am

    #triumphanttales i am a mum to on (four yr old boy who starts school in sept -jinx) and I’m also a single child. I loved it. Life was full of opportunities and time with people. The only thing i have never understood is the sibling bond – however, i have close friends and family so i don’t feel I’m missing out. Less of a mum is impossible – better, always an option open to all.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th April 2017 at 7:44 pm

      I love this comment. Thank you. And are you as petrified about September as me?!? Arghh. xx

  33. Reply
    Dave - Dad's Turn
    26th April 2017 at 8:44 am

    It’s always handy to write things down to find out what you want. Although there is still quite a bit of pressure that have kids, and then more after the first. Need to decide what works best for you. #MarvMondays

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th April 2017 at 7:43 pm

      I completely agree. Everyone seems to have an opinion these days. Thank you xx

  34. Reply
    The Squirmy Popple
    26th April 2017 at 7:56 pm

    I just have one child, and I go back and forth daily about whether I want another one. I’m nearly 35, so I know I don’t have forever to decide, but it’s such a monumental decision to make. If I don’t have another one, I’m no less of a mum for only having one child – parenting is bloody hard no matter how many children you have. #FamilyFun

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th April 2017 at 8:02 pm

      We sound like we are in a similar position – one child, same age! The pressure is horrible isn’t it! Thank you xx

  35. Reply
    Aleena Brown
    26th April 2017 at 8:26 pm

    In so many ways having one child is much more pressure than 2 or more – as you quite rightly said, the demands on your time is a huge one! For various medical reasons, we never though 2 was a possibility until it happened, so I was perfectly content with ‘just’ one child. And now, I am perfectly content with ‘just’ 2! I don’t feel any more of a mum now, and I didn’t feel any less of a mum then, but I did sometimes feel the way you are, especially when I’d look at my friends with more than one and their struggles. Love his post #BloggerClubUK

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th April 2017 at 10:00 pm

      So lovely to know others feel the same about this. Thank you xx

  36. Reply
    Becky - MommyandRory
    26th April 2017 at 10:54 pm

    I’m only a mother of one and while there’s still plenty of time for us I’m pretty sure we won’t have another. It makes me sad that I’ll never feel another baby growing inside me but I love our little family of three ❤️ #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th April 2017 at 12:31 pm

      That bit makes me sad too. But I too love our little family 🙂 Thank you xx

  37. Reply
    Claire
    27th April 2017 at 8:28 pm

    It’s funny, I have two but still people constantly ask me when I’m having another! Sometimes it feels like they assume because I’ve had more than one that means I just want to keep going, it is hard to be made to feel like it’s my duty to keep popping them out, I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be for you! xx #coolmumclub

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th April 2017 at 11:27 am

      Oh they love to ask and then when you say you don’t know you get ‘oh but you have to!’ – Do I?! Really?! Who says?! Some people just don’t think. Thanks for reading and commenting xx

  38. Reply
    five little doves
    27th April 2017 at 9:31 pm

    As everyone says, whether you have one child or ten, you’re still just the same as every single Mum out there. I think the decision for a second child (or third, or fourth!) is a very personal one to make, for me, I always wanted two children, and I ended up with five. Sometimes fate plays it’s own part in these things too! #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th April 2017 at 11:26 am

      Yes I agree. That’s why I have come to the conclusion ‘what will be will be!’ Thank you xx

  39. Reply
    Talya
    28th April 2017 at 11:20 am

    Oh my goodness I am crying reading this! As a mum to one I relate to all these thoughts and emotions so much you don’t know how cathartic it was reading this thank you lovely and thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub xoxo

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th April 2017 at 11:23 am

      Thank YOU Talya. Isn’t it a relief to know that we are not alone in our thoughts. I never talk about it either. Until now!! Thanks so much xx

  40. Reply
    Liane
    28th April 2017 at 7:41 pm

    What a beautifully written post! I agree writing is the best therapy 🙂

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th April 2017 at 8:01 am

      Thank you xx

  41. Reply
    Helena
    29th April 2017 at 11:13 am

    Whether you have one or more children it doesn’t mean you are any less of a mum and shouldn’t doubt yourself. #FamilyFun

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th April 2017 at 4:22 pm

      Thank you 🙂

      1. Reply
        Helena
        8th May 2017 at 1:40 pm

        You’re welcome #SharingtheBlogLove

  42. Reply
    Random Musings
    29th April 2017 at 2:07 pm

    I don’t think it makes you less of a mum at all – whether you have one child or ten children, you’re a mum.
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th April 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Thank you – I agree! 🙂 xx

  43. Reply
    chickenruby
    29th April 2017 at 2:43 pm

    As a mother of 5 i can say that life isn’t easier whether you have 5 kids or 1, as each child left home the younger ones filled the gap, until we were eventually done to one and then none. looking after 5 kids or just one child means you have to adapt your lifestyle to juggle everyones needs. don’t let others judge you and don’t judge yourself, as a mum of 5 trust me, there are equally as bad comments out there to be had, such as ‘did you keep trying because you wanted a girl?’ ‘surely that’s enough now’ etc etc. It’s no one else’s business or problem.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th April 2017 at 4:21 pm

      Thank you so much for such kind words. I’m trying not to let it get to me now – this post and it’s comments has worked wonders! 🙂

  44. Reply
    Karen TwoTinyHands
    29th April 2017 at 5:25 pm

    I love how writing just makes things make sense and you are definitely not less of a Mum! I often hate the questions you get by strangers and imagine that as your son gets older the, are you having or when are you having another? Would get rather annoying. Whatever you choose never doubt your status as a mother!!
    Beautifully written Jaki, ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬ xx

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th April 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Thanks so much, I really appreciate that 🙂 xx

  45. Reply
    Peachy and her Mommy
    30th April 2017 at 8:04 am

    I’m a mom to one and I also haven’t decided if there is another in my future. There are a lot of pros and cons. #BloggerClubUK

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th April 2017 at 10:17 pm

      I find it’s a harder decision to make than that of just having one – because you’re impacting on another life, not just your own! Thank you for commenting xx

  46. Reply
    Emma T
    30th April 2017 at 2:27 pm

    I’ve just written an ode to an only child post. We have just 1 boy. I never thought I wanted children at all, then decided I didn’t want to regret not trying. But I always thought I’d have 2 if I ever had them. But a) it’s changed our marriage a lot, and having 2 wouldn’t be good for it b) I’d have to come off medication to have another c) I can’t see us with another and d) I’d have to give up work, my dancing, and all the things we can do with no problems. I’m happy with 1 and I’m a blooming amazing mum to him.

    I very rarely get any comments about only having 1 child though, so I don’t really have to think about it like some people get pressure. #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th April 2017 at 10:16 pm

      Well done you. I’m happy that you are content with your decision. It must be great to feel no pressure. I’ll be sure to check out your post 🙂 xx

  47. Reply
    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    30th April 2017 at 3:11 pm

    I don’t think it matters a bit whether you’re a mum to one, or a mum to 10, what matters is the bond between you and your child. So many mums seem to see motherhood as a competition for who has it harder, and that just never seems to be a helpful attitude. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th April 2017 at 10:14 pm

      I agree. I’m very lucky in that I have an incredible bond as so that is what I try to focus on. Thank you xx

  48. Reply
    Lisa (mummascribbles)
    30th April 2017 at 8:52 pm

    Such a lovely post. As a mum of two, I can say that I feel no more of a mum now than I did when I had just one. I can see why you may think like that but honestly, you are a mum in every which way! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th April 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Thanks Lisa – that makes me feel better! Thanks for hosting xx

  49. Reply
    Bridie By The Sea
    1st May 2017 at 11:09 am

    Brilliant post lovely, I feel like you’re my kindred spirit! I know what you mean, so often people say things like “just wait til you have your second or third” like having only one means hardly anything at all. Good on you for writing this! Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      1st May 2017 at 9:10 pm

      Thanks lovely – I feel the same, especially when I read your guest post of mine! It’s nice to know we’re not alone 🙂 xx

  50. Reply
    Michelle Goodwin
    1st May 2017 at 8:57 pm

    I love this post. I’m a mum to two and still feel like I’ve got no clue what i’m doing. Being a mum to one of fifteen it’s no different just busier. your a mum and a great one at that #familyfun

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      1st May 2017 at 9:07 pm

      Thanks so much xx

  51. Reply
    Mummy in a TuTu
    2nd May 2017 at 7:56 pm

    absolutely beautiful post sweetheart. You were a mum the second you decided you wanted to have a baby. I always wanted more than one and I am young enough that it is still a possibility it’s just the situation that isn’t right. If I don’t get to have another it doesn’t matter as I am still mummy and that is all that mattered to me!
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime and don’t forget to join us this Thurs.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      2nd May 2017 at 8:03 pm

      Ah thank you. I can’t believe how much love this post has had. It’s made me feel so much better about it all. Thanks for such a lovely comment xx

  52. Reply
    Laura - dear bear and beany
    2nd May 2017 at 10:13 pm

    Obviously with the exception of parents who have twins/triplets etc we all start off as a mum of one and at no point during that time did I feel like less of a mum. Even if it had stayed that way I would still have felt adequate as a mum. I found making the decision to have a second harder than making the decision to have the first. I knew I wanted a second, but deciding the right time was the hard bit. Whatever you decide it will be the right decision for all of you. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  53. Reply
    Crummy Mummy
    3rd May 2017 at 4:32 pm

    I have three and while life (for me) was definitely easier with just one child I don’t think parents of only children are any less of a parent than I am! #familyfunlinky

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      3rd May 2017 at 9:28 pm

      Thank you 🙂 xx

  54. Reply
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)
    4th May 2017 at 7:36 am

    Definitely no less of a mum for having one. I have to say I haven’t noticed things in shops being aimed at mums with more than one child but to be fair, I’ve never really looked. Your experiences as a mum are just as valid and important whether you’ve had one child or many. I do think that people shouldn’t ask about whether someone is going to have another baby or not though – you never know what heartache might be below the surface and it’s not something I would ever ask someone unless they brought the subject up themselves. #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      4th May 2017 at 4:29 pm

      Absolutely, couldn’t agree more. Thanks for such lovely words 🙂 xx

  55. Reply
    Helen @Talking_Mums
    4th May 2017 at 10:58 am

    A mum is a mum whether it’s to 1 or 5 kids. You are definitely not less of a mum for only having one x
    #SharingTheBlogLove

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      4th May 2017 at 4:28 pm

      Thank you Helen xx

  56. Reply
    Wendy
    4th May 2017 at 4:26 pm

    You are definitely not less of a mum..AT ALL. It doesn’t matter how many kids we have, 1 or 15 we are all still mums who are just doing the best we can. I have 2 and while it is difficult I found having one seriously difficult at times too. You’re doing amazing and don’t let evil mum guilt tell you otherwise xx #BlogCrush

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      4th May 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Ah thank you so much. That makes me feel better 🙂 Thank you xx

  57. Reply
    Lucy At Home
    4th May 2017 at 8:55 pm

    Family units come in all shapes and sizes, and yet we still feel this pressure to “conform” somehow. I have 2 children, but my family all have much bigger families (4 or 5 children), and I find myself asking the same question – am I less of a mum than them?

    But of course, as you conclude, the answer is a resounding “NO!” Being a mum isn’t about juggling as many children as you can, it’s about being the best mum you can be to the child(ren) you have #sharingthebloglove

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      5th May 2017 at 12:18 pm

      Absolutely! It has surprised me just how any other Mums have had these thoughts and feelings. I really thought it was just me who felt this way! So pleased it’s not and we are normal and equally as brilliant as each other. Thank you 🙂 xx

  58. Reply
    Msmamabean
    4th May 2017 at 9:25 pm

    Doesn’t matter how many you have in your clan, all mums are amazing. Keep up the good work! #sharingthebloglove

  59. Reply
    laura
    5th May 2017 at 10:16 pm

    Aw bless you, I’m sorry you’ve ever been made to feel anything negative by others. I think every child, every person, every family is so so different and nobody should question it. It drove me mad after 1 all the questions people had especially the ‘I bet you want to try for a girl next?’ because I had a boy. Erm, no?! A family is a family whether you have no kids or 20 and you are an amazing Mum! xx #friyaylinky

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      7th May 2017 at 12:27 am

      Thank you Laura. That’s really kind xx

  60. Reply
    Mama Grace
    5th May 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Love this and I’ll say that the mum to x amount, as if it give more authority, doesn’t. #sharingthebloglove

  61. Reply
    Sian | The Mama Story
    10th May 2017 at 7:54 pm

    Ah you know it’s not true that you are less of a mum! I bet you are an amazing mum too! #SharingTheBlogLove

  62. Reply
    Poovanesh
    30th October 2017 at 7:30 am

    Hi no you are definitely not less of a mum. I have one child who is now 20 years old. Only children tend to be lonely and more demanding of their mums. Often you take the playmate role of the sibling they do not have.
    You tend to over compensate by arranging more play dates than you want to. This is often not reciprocated by mums where there is more than one child. The other side of the coin is that the bond between you and the child is stronger ( from my experience) and they learn at an early age to take part in conversations without resorting to baby talk. Motherhood whether with one child or not is a complex task. Thank you for a great post.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th October 2017 at 8:46 pm

      Thanks for a great comment – it makes a lot of sense!! I’m pleased you enjoyed it.

  63. Reply
    WelshMumWriting
    10th January 2018 at 1:16 pm

    That has rung such a chord with me as a mum to one. It’s good to read that others have similar thoughts and feeilngs. #TriumphantTales

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