Unspoken Rules in Relationships

Relationships are beautiful and complicated. On the one hand, the companionship and joy that they bring are deeply satisfying. On the other hand, they require an awful lot of work to create and sustain. Understanding your partner’s behavioural patterns and preferences makes the relationship easier to manage. However, mood swings and an undisclosed history can further add to the complication in a relationship.

It would be so much better if relationships came with manuals that contained do’s and don’ts, as well as recommendations for when we invariably mess the whole thing up. Unfortunately, there’s no such document. What we do have is a compilation of the best practices, as well as what to expect from relationships. We hope to elaborate on the things that everyone expects from relationships but never talk about.

Manage your expectations: You might be thinking, “What an odd way to begin a list of things that explain what to expect in relationships,” and you’d be right under other circumstances. But then, in relationships, expectations often cause strains, and instead of enjoying spontaneity and whimsical adventures, we argue about what should have done and why the partner didn’t do it. One thing that everybody should know, but no one ever bothered to write down (until now), is that if you want a happy relationship, you should manage your expectations.
Reach for the check: As a man, one of the major ways to show your commitment to the relationship is to involve your money. Even though gender roles in the 21st century have pretty much been abolished and anyone can pay the bill, it’s still expected that you reach for the check. There’s nothing weirder than you engaging your date in a staring contest with the check. It’s your non-formal obligation to pick it up. You might meet halfway and split it in the end.
Pay attention: One of the ways that women receive love is by attention. While it may be a new thing for a man to do, women expect you to notice the little changes they make. Nothing makes a woman madder than trying, without success, to gain your attention, and get you to notice something new. Don’t wait until this happens. Pay attention.
Recognize that you’re ‘we’ now: The moment your relationship upgrades to a serious status, no one tells you about all the numerous changes you should make in your life. For starters, you begin to think for two. Two weeks ago, it might have been perfectly reasonable for you to buy food for just yourself. Today, however, you’re selfish and inconsiderate. Knowing this will help you avoid making the kind of mistakes that leave your significant other feeling like you don’t care enough.
Be supportive: One of the most important reasons why people enter into serious relationships is that they would love to be a significant part of someone else’s life, and have that someone be a significant part of theirs. It’s why we register and spend time on dating sites. It’s why we go on blind dates. Unfortunately, a large percentage of people either forget this fact or don’t know it at all. Being in a serious relationship demands that you assist your partner and that you become supportive of her goals, needs, and desires.