A Letter To My Younger, Single Self

To my younger, single self of 2007 and 2008

I have quite a lot I want to talk to you about today. As I write this, you may find it hard to believe, but today you are celebrating your sixth wedding anniversary. Yes. You heard right. Six years. But it’s not just six years. This very weekend, you’re also celebrating nine years with your now husband. That’s right. You managed to find ‘The One’. The one that didn’t mess you around.

Right now you’re in the middle of a crazy two years spending time as the single girl you so desperately need. If I’m honest, looking back, you didn’t have enough time on your own. You didn’t spend enough time, going out and enjoying yourself with your friends. Over the past few years, you have given your time and energies to some people that didn’t deserve it. You have had your heart broken more than once. But let me tell you – those guys weren’t right for you. They didn’t deserve you. It may not have felt like it but you have to believe me. Because I know how this ends!

Soon, you are going to meet someone who is going to turn your world upside down. I know you won’t believe me because your thoughts of the opposite sex don’t rate too highly right now, and no one can blame you for that. You have cried many a tear and that is good. You’re healing. You’re getting yourself better so that when you do meet this guy I will talk to you about in a minute, you will be ready.

Thankfully, prior to meeting ‘The One’, you have given up. You have stopped looking and you’ve been enjoying yourself. Carry on doing that. Because that’s where you’ll find him. Yes, I know the same old haunts are a bit tedious and boring on a Saturday night, but stick with it, because one day soon, he’ll be there.

When you do meet him, he will give you the corniest of chat up lines – don’t judge him! He means well. He will be smitten with you. This sounds big headed coming from your older self, but hell, I’ve lived with him for almost ten years by now, I think I’m qualified to say I know how he felt. He’s told me enough.

A Letter To My Younger, Single Self

You will get on instantly and you will have your close friends to thank for introducing you. Don’t ever forget that. And while you may not see them as often as you wish you did in the coming months, don’t forget what they did for you. Try and keep them in your life, even if it’s hard at times.

It will be a whirlwind, he will propose to you within a year of meeting and you will be living together shortly after. Some people will think it’s all too fast but don’t listen to them. This guy is in it for the long haul. I promise.

You will have some amazing holidays, one of which he will propose in the most embarrassing of ways – on stage, in front of everyone. Then when you’ve said yes he will do karaoke and embarrass you even more by serenading you with ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’. But don’t worry – you film the whole thing and keep the evidence as bribery should you ever need it. He will also get extremely drunk that night. You will look after him though, bless him, even now he can’t handle his drink very well.

Your wedding day will be planned over two years. You will get very stressed and you will argue and fall out. You will wonder at times if you are doing the right thing – you both will. But you are. Believe me. All couples go through moments like these.

The day will be perfect in your eyes. Don’t worry about the leaky roof or the pins that will get left in your dress. They are minuscule details. You will look gorgeous as will your entire bridal party. He will cry, I’ll warn you now. He’s a soppy git with a tough exterior but he’s got a heart of gold deep down.

A Letter To My Younger, Single Self

Married life will be just the start. This is the bit that will shock you. By the time you reach your first wedding anniversary, you will be three months pregnant. Now come on. Pick your jaw up off the floor and keep reading. I know this is a shock. You have never been the maternal type. You have never envisaged yourself with a child. From what I remember, you don’t even like kids very much. But listen to me and listen to me carefully.

Even though the very thought of this makes you feel a little bit sick (not half as much as the morning sickness will…) you do not need to worry. And the reason being, Jaki of ten years ago? Because this child will be the making of you.

Your pregnancy will be problem free. You will feel sick but you won’t be sick. You will blossom. You won’t get ‘fat’ – you will just be pregnant. Yes, of course, you will get uncomfortable but you will handle labour and childbirth like a boss. And do you know what? You’ll do it all without any pain relief. You’ll ace it.

Then you’ll fall in real proper, love for the second time. The first time was to the now Daddy of your little boy – yes, that’s right, you will have a little boy. The second time with this miracle that you both created. He will be everything to you and you will experience a love that you never knew existed.

Mummy and Baby Ethan

The five years that follow won’t be easy. I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of it all, as you’ve already taken in quite a lot for one day. Children can test any relationship, but do one thing for me. Don’t ever forget how far you will have come and why you did it in the first place. Because you love each other. Because you are everything to each other. Because you are meant to be.

There will be a really tough year or so when Mum gets sick. She will need looking after and believe me when I tell you, although it will be hard, you are strong enough to get through it. You all are. She’s a fighter our Mum and as a family, you will get through it. Look after Dad. He will find it hard too at times. In fact, you and Big Sis will make her so proud when you raise a shed load of money for Cancer Research and you actually run for the first time in your life. I know, I know, that was probably a bit too much, wasn’t it?!

As I write this, your now husband and four year old are out together shopping. You’re going to the park later and might even make some cakes too. I know, I know – another shock! And in a couple of months another chapter is about to start, because your little boy, the one that right now, you can’t even believe you’re going to have? He will be starting school. At the very same one, you went to.

This is a lot to take in. I get that. But I just wanted to prepare you for the amazing few years you have ahead of you. Because they really will be. Start looking forward, all the best is yet to come. I promise.


Your Older (maybe wiser) Self.


A Letter To My Younger, Single Self



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20 Comment

  1. Reply
    Mrs Mummy Harris
    12th June 2017 at 8:15 am

    Oh Jaki you got me crying at work damn you! Mr Gosling is a good egg he is!
    Me and hubby were talking last night about how relationships are tested with children and we both agreed that the ones that can last the first year adapting to parenthood are the ones that last a life time. You got your Prince Charming and you’ll grow old together and sit on benches watching the world go by! Xxx

  2. Reply
    Amy @ Arty apple
    12th June 2017 at 2:01 pm

    Ahhh this gave me goosbumps! Lovely just lovely xx

  3. Reply
    Lucy At Home
    13th June 2017 at 7:14 am

    Love this! I think, when the going is tough, we all had someone from the future who could tell us it’s going to be okay. It’s amazing how quickly things can change, but it just doesn’t feel like it at the time. Congratulations on you 6th wedding anniversary! #triumphanttales

  4. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 10:28 am

    Happy 6 year anniversary!! This is a lovely post and how I would have loved future me to come and have a chat with me when I was younger…no way I would have believed by the age of 26 I’d have 2 gorgeous children and have been married for 4 years!xx #triumphanttales

  5. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 11:56 am

    What a lovely story you have. Happy Anniversary. It’s weird looking back, the now always seems different in reflection. #TriumphantTales

  6. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 12:37 pm

    What a beautiful story. I loved reading it, might of felt a bit emotional. So sweet. truly loved this blog post, might be my favorite ive read yet! x #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      14th June 2017 at 7:23 pm

      That’s really kind, thank you! x

  7. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 1:06 pm

    This is lovely! It’s such a nice feeling to know you have found ‘the one’, here’s to many happy years! #triumphanttales

  8. Reply
    jeremy - thirstydaddy
    13th June 2017 at 2:39 pm

    Very sweet. Its a bit weird sometimes to look back and realize how different we thought and acted at different stages of our lives. #anythinggoes

  9. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 4:21 pm

    This is so sweet. I love that you and your husband knew that you were meant to be together so quickly. My husband proposed when I was 19 and we had been together for 11 months or so. He just knew.
    Thank you for sharing and congratulations on 6 strong years!

  10. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 8:55 pm

    This is so lovely. Congratulations on your anniversary, I hope you have a lovely day x

  11. Reply
    13th June 2017 at 9:14 pm

    I love this post! It is so lovely to read the story of how you met your husband and your lives together. Really tugs on the ❤️ strings. #TriumphantTales

  12. Reply
    Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    13th June 2017 at 10:04 pm

    I did a vlog of messages to my younger selves, it seems incredible how life changes and looking back at various points in my life I never would have thought I would have the life I have now #triumphanttales

  13. Reply
    Mom Of Two Little Girls
    14th June 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Happy anniversary lovely. Isn’t it ironic that they turn up just when you stop looking.

  14. Reply
    15th June 2017 at 12:01 pm

    Aw this was a lovely letter to read and has so many good points! Happy anniversary too to you and your husband, may there be many more! #triumphanttales

  15. Reply
    15th June 2017 at 8:31 pm

    #triumphanttales read this in the week and Rt’d because i loved it. Some posts are more enjoyable than others to write – i bet this was joyful

  16. Reply
    16th June 2017 at 5:48 pm

    the only bit of advice i wish i could’ve given myself was to wait and be patience for my time will come

  17. Reply
    16th June 2017 at 7:52 pm

    Happy anniversary! It’s strange looking back to our lives before we settled down. It’s like a different lifetime but lovely to see how well it all turned out x

  18. Reply
    18th June 2017 at 4:49 pm

    What a beautiful post. Wouldn’t it be nice to actually receive one of these letters from our future selves!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

  19. Reply
    Haley Foxfairy
    21st June 2017 at 9:20 pm

    Gosh! How emotional! Thank you for giving us this insight into your life…I felt like a was reading a short novel! Congratulations on your gorgeous family xx

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