10 Ways To Understand An Introvert

10 ways to understand an introvert

I can remember when I was at school, I once got called a ‘posh snob’. I was shocked at the time. Not only because I was far from posh, but I certainly wasn’t a snob. But I was quiet and I did keep myself to myself. But that didn’t make me a snob. I know now, in later life, that it made me an introvert. As I still am.

Introverts can be easily misunderstood. As I was at school. But it can happen in adult life too. Not a lot of people understand why we prefer to stay in as opposed to going out. Some people don’t get it that we prefer to send them a text instead of calling them. And a lot of people don’t understand that when they make plans last minute and expect us to be okay with it, that it can actually make us feel really uncomfortable, but we will go along with it because we find it really hard to say ‘no’.

 

10 ways to understand an introvert-3

Qualities and traits of an introvert

  • Quiet and retiring
  • Prefers to be alone or with just a couple of close friends
  • Spends a lot of time thinking and imagining
  • Tends to plan ahead
  • Would rather work alone
  • Shy
  • Enjoys own company
  • Prefers to email or text rather than make a phone call

It wasn’t until I took part in a personality test at work that I looked into introversion and extroversion a little further. Of course, the results of the test declared me an introvert and it didn’t surprise me, but what followed fascinated me. There were so many other people out there like me. I no longer felt weird if I would prefer to stay in in my pyjamas of an evening instead of going out for a night out. Certain friends became easier to be friends with because they would much rather send me a text and I didn’t have the tummy churning sensation when the phone rang and I didn’t want to answer the call.

Understanding an introvert

I don’t know about anyone else but now I understand my personality type more, I find myself surrounding myself with people who are more like me. It makes life a little easier, more comfortable let’s say. But of course, it is impossible to avoid our personality opposites. It can be difficult and uncomfortable at times. There is no harm in explaining to those closest to you that you aren’t comfortable in certain situations and you prefer to do something in a different way to perhaps they would like. Help them, to understand you.

 

10 ways to understand an introvert

Hearing from fellow introverts

I asked a few of my fellow introvert bloggers what situations make them feel uncomfortable or annoy them. Here is what they had to say.


Becki
from themumfrombrum.co.uk

Yes. Just being around people, even people I love, for a long while really drains me. I feel bad but without my “me” time I think I’d genuinely go mad. I think of it as my social battery – and my ‘me time’ is how I recharge it.

Sarah from digitalmotherhood.com

How long have you got! Things that make me feel uncomfortable… Having to talk to people I don’t know like other parents at kids birthday parties, walking into a busy place by myself, having my hair cut or anything like nails & beauty treatments etc, talking in front of lots of people, basically any situation where I have to talk to people or where people are looking at me

Lyndsey from mehimthedogandababy.com

I get really annoyed when people turn up unannounced and then stay longer than they’re really welcome for! That’s when I feel uncomfortable because I don’t want to have to ask them to leave.

Lucy from muffintopmummy.com

Walking into places first when I’m with my husband or family. On my own, I can do it if I have to, but I always go mad at my poor husband when he’s chivalrous and holds a door for me because I hate going first!

Annette from 3littlebuttons.com

I think it’s really cringey when you’re put on the spot and asked your opinion in a large group when you clearly hadn’t been fourth coming with it in the first place. It’s that moment when everyone goes quiet and are eagerly waiting to hear what you say that gets me every time… gulp!

Laura from fivelittledoves.com

Forced fun!!! Nothing makes me as uncomfortable as forced fun, be that joining in with games, being dragged up to dance, or just cringey audience participation in a play. I can’t handle it!!

 

As a fellow introvert, I can relate to all of these! It made me chuckle reading them as I found myself nodding along saying “that is SO me!”. It’s nice to know we are not alone.

 

10 ways to understand an introvert
Of course, there is always a flip side to the coin and the extroverts amongst us also have their own traits and qualities, but obviously, that is a post I am less qualified to write.

We are all unique in our own way and that is what makes us who we are. I hope this post will help those introverts who feel a little misunderstood at times not only know that they are not alone but also go a little way in helping friends and loved ones of introverts, understand them a little more. We aren’t being rude, standoffish or stuck up. We are just being us. Just like you are being you.

 

You call it being alone, I call it enjoying my own company. Click To Tweet

 

Are you an introvert or who feels misunderstood? Perhaps you are an extrovert who has struggled to understand an introvert friend, colleague or family member? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

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29 Comment

  1. Reply
    Sadie
    5th June 2017 at 7:15 pm

    I love this post, this is me 100%. I’ve come out of my shell in recent years, mainly because of a growing group of friends whom I love…but I still wont ever call them on the phone! My husband is very much the opposite, but he seems to get it now that I get quite overwhelmed with too many social events. I can fake it in certain situations, like work, but it’s exhausting and I definitely need time alone or at least just with my family to recharge.
    I’m glad people are starting to identify the different personality types, as I do think extroverts can be quite offended by introverts although that’s obviously not our intentions. Hopefully understanding one another better will help everyone!
    #AnythingGoes

  2. Reply
    Mummy Confessions (@MumConfession)
    6th June 2017 at 7:36 am

    I’m definitely a mix, but for sure hate talking on the phone! It’s frustrating when people assume you’re snobby if you don’t talk much! #TriumphantTales

  3. Reply
    postcards_for_findlay
    6th June 2017 at 8:31 am

    Really interesting post. Although I wouldn’t consider myself an introvert, many of these traits ring true for me too – especially in new situations/around people I don’t know. I was very shy as a child, and most probably was introverted, so my parents sent me to drama school to ‘help me gain some confidence.’ I think it’s so important to acknowledge, respect and celebrate the differences between people – it’s what makes us all unique. Thanks for sharing #TriumphantTales

  4. Reply
    franbackwithabump
    6th June 2017 at 8:34 am

    What a great post. I have been accused of being shy and standoffish before, but I can just be quiet at times…. although my husband would beg to differ. Thanks for hosting #triumphanttales x

  5. Reply
    thetaleofmummyhood
    6th June 2017 at 8:36 am

    I found myself nodding away to most of these scenarios too, it’s good to know I’m not the only one! #triumphanttales

  6. Reply
    Maria - mummytologan
    6th June 2017 at 8:41 am

    I can totally relate, I’m very much an introvert, for as long as I can remember I’ve been quite and reserved. Great post.

    #triumphanttales

  7. Reply
    Amy @ Arty apple
    6th June 2017 at 10:10 am

    This post has really rung true with me because I think my sister could be classed as an introvert and I find myself getting so frustrated by it. This post has made me rethink my unsympathetic approach to her not wanting to go out or finding it weird she likes to spend time alone. Thanks for this x

  8. Reply
    RawChildhood
    6th June 2017 at 10:50 am

    I used to hate being put on the spot by friends to go anywhere, I lost most of my friends when I fell pregnant the first time, but I am ok with that. I understand why people don’t like being put on the spot and I like to arrange things but that might just be because I have children now and can’t shoot off at spear of the moment anymore! #triumphanttales

  9. Reply
    bespokebuckley
    6th June 2017 at 11:09 am

    I can really relate to this post! People often I am an extrovert because I’m so loud but I’m actually the opposite. This post explains a lot and I’m glad I read it, makes me understand myself better!
    #triumphanttales

  10. Reply
    collette dunn
    6th June 2017 at 2:07 pm

    This is me, for sure! I feel completely drained after spending time with lots of people, I prefer chatting to friends on a one to one and spend hours of the day dreaming or in an imagination world. Although I don’t get chance to spend much time alone (having 4 kids!) when I do, I love it! I have friends who simply can’t spend a whole day on their own without seeking company. Not me 🙂 #triumphanttales

  11. Reply
    tinmccarthy
    6th June 2017 at 2:27 pm

    Great one Jaki! People would not assume I have introvert qualities but I certainly have more than not.

    #triumphanttales

  12. Reply
    Kiki
    6th June 2017 at 4:52 pm

    I used to be an introvert, it all changed when I turned 16 and left school. I pretty much had to force myself to get more confident and be more talkative to people, especially when I got my first job! It’s so hard breaking away from the labels you get given. Ginge is shy and an introvert, and often comes off as hostile and anti-social in social situations. It’s awkward. #TriumphantTales

  13. Reply
    Naptime Natter Wendy
    6th June 2017 at 6:50 pm

    This is me all over. I hate talking on the phone and really don’t like big groups of people. This us an excellent post to help people understand what it’s like to be an introvert. I agree with Laura too, I just can’t deal with forced fun!xx #triumphanttales

  14. Reply
    Helen
    6th June 2017 at 8:10 pm

    I’d much rather sit and watch. I’m quite contented listening. I always offer to write in group situations with work or quiz type things – then you’re too busy to join in but you’re actively joining in! Magic. #triumphanttales

  15. Reply
    Ky
    6th June 2017 at 9:51 pm

    Introvert here! This is a great post to help people understand us. I can relate to all of this, I hate talking on the phone. Large groups of people are definitely not my thing. #dreamteam

  16. Reply
    Folakemi
    7th June 2017 at 11:30 am

    This sounds so me, I am definitely an introvert. #triumphanttales #twinklytuesday

  17. Reply
    lifeinamumshell
    7th June 2017 at 11:45 am

    Oh wow, I’ve never read anything that has described me so clearly. So that’s what I am. An introvert. There you go, I always just thought I was weird. Feeling better now! 🙂 good post!
    #TriumphantTales

  18. Reply
    Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    7th June 2017 at 11:53 am

    I am definitely an introvert and very shy and think I come across as rude or snobby 🙁 hopefully this post will dispel the myth! #triumpanttales

  19. Reply
    Lucy At Home
    7th June 2017 at 1:20 pm

    I think blogging is a great hobby for introverts – they can communicate from home, a place of calm and security, and they only need to be communicating for as long as they want to and then they can close the laptop. It’s also gives us the opportunity to mull things over and blog about them.

    I HATE talking on the phone. I get laughed at so much for this. #triumphanttales

  20. Reply
    talesoftwochildren
    7th June 2017 at 8:57 pm

    I’m getting more and more introvert the older I get. Trouble is, friends remember how I used to be, which I find annoying at times because I have to keep explaining things to them. Really nice post.
    #TriumphantTales

  21. Reply
    talkingmums1
    8th June 2017 at 12:13 pm

    I can totally relate to all of this. I’ve always been the quiet one and yes, I am totally a planner and hate last minute changes or arrangements. I like my own company or just to be with a couple of close friends rather than large groups and I HATE being put on the spot or being centre of attention! x
    #TriumphantTales

  22. Reply
    Lisa (mummascribbles)
    9th June 2017 at 10:16 am

    I’m definitely a mixture. There is part of me that is an introvert, the bit where I find talking to nursery mum’s at birthday parties a bit hard. But then I’m a lot more our of my shell than I used to be! Interesting post! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  23. Reply
    So Happy In Town (@SoHappyInTown)
    9th June 2017 at 10:48 am

    This is a great post and helps people understand that often we misunderstand people’s quietness for being rude. I wouldn’t say I’m an introvert, but not an extrovert either. But I certainly crave time on my own, with my own thoughts and find spending too long with people draining. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk – and I definitely much rather texts and e-mails to phone calls! #TriumphantTales

  24. Reply
    aliduke79hotmailcom
    9th June 2017 at 12:48 pm

    I think I am somewhere in the middle. I go through phases of enjoying my own company, then wanting to be around friends. I am never the centre of attention though, I hate that.
    #TriumphantTales

  25. Reply
    randommusings29
    9th June 2017 at 6:01 pm

    I think I’m a bit of both, although I always say I’m an extrovert. I do enjoy loud social places and I never shut up lol! but I prefer texts to calls and I’m not afraid of my own company
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

  26. Reply
    chickenruby
    10th June 2017 at 5:15 am

    I identify with quite a lot above but I also love going out and meeting people and prefer spur of the moment activities also

  27. Reply
    bringinguptheberneys
    10th June 2017 at 8:36 am

    The older I get the more of an introvert I’ve become. Since becoming a mum I’ve really come to appreciate “me time” and last minute plans just can’t happen anymore! I can really relate to a lot of these!
    #triumphanttales Becky x

  28. Reply
    bridiebythesea
    11th June 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Love this Jaki, I couldn’t agree more! I remember at university I just wanted to be alone and the girls I lived with told me that it seems like I just don’t want to join in with the fun. Nice! It has got easier as I’ve got older but I really appreciate time on my own in general. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

  29. Reply
    Haley Foxfairy
    12th June 2017 at 11:04 pm

    I LOVE this post and can completely relate. I am more confident now but at school this was me. I couldn’t agree more with the ‘enjoying my own company’. Sometimes you just need to ground yourself again. Thanks for the brilliant read Haley xx

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