It’s been a while since I’ve done an ‘update blog’. Hell it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. For that I’m sorry. Life just gets in the way sometimes I guess. But I’m here now and that’s all that matters. Right?! 😉
I’ve felt a little bit strange over the past few days. Since being on Maternity Leave its always been in the back of my mind that I had quite a big decision to make about returning to work. It was one of those where I’d think about it and then put it to the back of my mind, thinking “I’ve got aaaaages yet!” Well, guess what?! I realised the other day what month it was and had a little panic.
The time had come for me to write the email and send it. Arrange the meeting and attend it. The time had come to break the news to my boss. I wasn’t going back to my job. Don’t get me wrong, I need to work. I need to have an income. But I cannot justify working 36.25 hours a week when it’s 26 miles from home. I would never see my baby.
This could potentially lead onto a whole new blog, discussing Mothers returning to work, but I’m happy to give my views here.
The long and short of it is this. I didn’t have a baby to have someone else look after him, day in, day out. I want to do that. I want to be the first face he sees in the morning. The first one to get that gummy smile. I want to be the one who bathes him in the evening and gets him ready for bed. I want to be the one to tuck him up and kiss him goodnight whilst telling him that Mummy loves him.
If I worked full time, I couldn’t do those things.
Before I get a backlash, I’m not saying the Mums who choose to do this are wrong. I’m saying that its my choice. I’m prepared to sacrifice money, to be there for my baby. It’s a small sacrifice that I’m happy to make. Money can’t buy me the love of my precious boy.
So now I’m faced with hunting for a part time job. A job that will enable me to get out and earn a few pennies in the middle of the day and see a few different faces, to help keep me sane. But it really is the end of an era.
I’ve been with my current company for ten years. TEN YEARS. That’s a long time.
It hasn’t been easy at times. In those ten years I’ve dealt with three restructures and had four different job roles. But it’s always been familiar. Going to a new job and a new company after having been off work for nearly twelve months will be a scary and daunting experience. But again, it’s something I’m prepared to do for my little boy.
Whilst I will miss my old working life, I’m looking forward to my new one. For me it’s just pocket money. Because my career now is bringing up our baby. And I know for one that out of all the jobs I have done to date, this will be the most important and rewarding job of my life.