Mummy Isn’t Needed

I've been feeling lonely today, almost as if Mummy isn't needed.

There have been so many changes in our little way of life recently and today is just another to add to the list. The Little Man is growing up so fast. It feels like I’m blinking and missing so much. Today, for the first time in almost five years, I have a Saturday to myself. Today, Little Man has gone to the football with his Daddy. Mummy isn’t needed today.

The husband has always gone to the football. As an avid season ticket holder for the duration of our relationship, it’s always meant that pretty much every other Saturday during the football season for the last ten years, he would be at a match and I had the day to myself. That was of course, up until December 2012 and when our little bundle of happiness arrived.

From then on in, I had to pretty much rule Saturday’s out of the equation that involved a football match. It was a given that obviously, on those days I couldn’t make plans because I was needed at home. It’s just the way it is and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Spending precious weekends with my little fella is always a pleasure. Well, apart from that stage we went through when he was, let’s say…. challenging?!

Today, however, is somewhat different. Today the Little Man has gone off with his Daddy and Grandad to watch the football for himself. Leaving me here, at home, on my own, feeling, if I’m honest, a little not needed.

I know that this isn’t the case at all. Of course, I’m needed. It’s just really weird you know?! When your whole weekends are usually arranged around certain things and then all of a sudden it’s changed and it’s different.

I’ve craved ‘me time’ in the past. Like, desperately. Now I finally have it and I feel a little lost. I guess with the whole starting school thing I just feel a bit like my Little Man is slipping away from me in dribs and drabs. I know he isn’t. He will hopefully always want is Mumma. It’s just a strange adjustment when life as you know it begins to change.

I have no idea how today will go. Whether he will love it or whether he will hate it. I hope he loves it, I really do. His Daddy is a crazy football fan. Devoted, to say the least, and I would love to see this as something they can regularly do together. Enjoy the special Father and Son time together as he does with his own Dad. Three generations of football fans together. It’s a lovely thing really.

As for me. I know today I feel like Mummy isn’t needed, but I’ll be alright. With a house to run there is always something to be doing and with a blog to run, there is never a list that is complete! And if I don’t feel like doing any of those things, I could always go and get my nails done or go shopping. That’s if I can remember how to without a child…!

 

*UPDATE*

I am happy to say that Little Man had a fabulous time at the match and is already asking when he can go to the next one. Sob. I guess Mummy isn’t needed whenever there is a home game from here on in! I thought it would be nice to share with you some photographs of their day together. They make my heart melt.

Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed

 

Have you ever had to adapt to new situations or found yourself feeling not needed? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear.

 

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56 Comment

  1. Reply
    Rice Cakes and Raisins
    25th September 2017 at 1:25 pm

    I totally get this, the conflich between really desiring ‘me time’ and then not knowing what to do once we get it! It’ll get easier as they get older, I’m sure x x #honeybeelinky

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:38 pm

      As does everything! Thank you.

  2. Reply
    thesingleswan
    25th September 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Hey, brilliant. This is great for the little man, and once you get used to it, you will realise that it is great for you too. Promise me that you will make the most of it. Do things that you wouldn’t be able to do when both of them are in the house – write some blog posts, read some books, get your nails done, linger in coffee shops. Whatever you do, do not ‘take the opportunity’ to do some household chores!

    Pen x #AnythingGoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:36 pm

      Haha, no chance! I got SO MUCH done on Saturday, my to do list has never been ticked off so fast! When’s that next match again?! 😉

  3. Reply
    passion fruit, paws and peonies
    26th September 2017 at 9:13 am

    Aww bless you Jaki, I remember these feelings so well. From the age of 9 my son would travel to Le Mans to watch the car racing with my husband. I would be a huge bunch of guys with their sons. I would stress so much and imaging my son missing the comfort and care I would always give him – how would he cope with out me?! – those trips turned out to be the stand out highlights of his year. I ended up feeling very proud that we bought our son up to cope in a man’s world. I also got grey hairs!! #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:34 pm

      Ahhh bless you! I know what you mean! I am so happy though that he enjoyed it and that he gets to spend some quality time with his Dad. Just think of me on an away game though when it’s 2 against 1 when they want it on the radio full blast! 🙂

  4. Reply
    Daddy Poppins
    26th September 2017 at 10:24 am

    Grab that ‘me time’ when you can. It’s great for him, Daddy and you that they have an activity together.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:31 pm

      I agree! It’s so nice to see them get to spend time together, as his Dad works long hours in the week. I’ll get used to it, I’m sure! 🙂

  5. Reply
    bellfrombow
    26th September 2017 at 11:59 am

    This is my future – I’m a mum of two boys. And I’d rather get my nails done than watch West Ham. What I will say is that I’m 37, and I still need my mum. Don’t worry, they aren’t done with us yet! 🙂 #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:30 pm

      I agree! I’d be lost without my Mum! 🙂

  6. Reply
    Mocktailmommies (@mocktailmommie8)
    26th September 2017 at 12:20 pm

    A very heart warming recount!
    Now that my kids are grown up, one being 15 and another 9 yrs, I at times wonder, how long will these birdies be under my wings… So I have just this to share… there will be no “Mummy isn’t needed” till the kids really fly out of the nest!
    – Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
    Have you read my latest post Wardrobe Makeover

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 2:29 pm

      And I still need my Mum and I flew the nest years ago! 🙂 Thank you for reading!

  7. Reply
    mamagrace
    26th September 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Glad to hear he loves it, now please book your season ticket at the spa #TriumphanttALES

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 9:59 pm

      Is this a thing?! It sounds incredible! 🙂

  8. Reply
    Nicola wiggins
    26th September 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Aww such a lovely post. I prescribe a bath, a book and a bit of telly. 👍 #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 9:54 pm

      That sounds like bliss! 🙂

  9. Reply
    Neil
    26th September 2017 at 9:38 pm

    I think we all have the fear of not being needed. I try and cherish as much playtime as I can with my Daughter and hate the thought of it not lasting forever.

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      26th September 2017 at 9:54 pm

      I know what you mean! I try not to think about it!

  10. Reply
    Lydia C. Lee
    26th September 2017 at 10:18 pm

    That’s lovely he wants ‘dad time’. I’d be relishing the chance for regular time off! #dreamteam

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:28 pm

      It’s certainly happening! 🙂

  11. Reply
    Helen
    27th September 2017 at 10:34 am

    Aww good to see he had a great time but yes it does feel like they slowly but surely need less and less of you….but they will always need you no matter how old or independent they are x
    #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:27 pm

      He will. I still need my Mum at my age! 🙂

  12. Reply
    Fridgesays
    27th September 2017 at 12:37 pm

    #triumphanttales I promise im in my thirties and still need my Mum x

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:26 pm

      Me toooo!! 🙂

  13. Reply
    Four Acorns
    27th September 2017 at 4:58 pm

    I do remember feeling a bit lost too when all four of my kids started going to school or preschool last year. Then I got into blogging, and the rest is history! (I still enjoy the odd day when my youngest stays home with me, just because he likes it.)
    #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:24 pm

      It happens all at once doesn’t it? All of a sudden they are so much more grown up! This blog keeps me very busy – the day actually flew by!

  14. Reply
    chickenruby
    27th September 2017 at 8:18 pm

    is there any reason you can’t go to the football? In our house it was me and the boys who went to the football while hubby stayed at home and enjoyed the break #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:23 pm

      No reason whatsoever, I would just prefer not to! I’m happy that it’s something they can enjoy together! 🙂

  15. Reply
    mommyhomemanager
    27th September 2017 at 9:10 pm

    Awww, but look how much fun he had with the boys!
    Can you go with to the occasional game if you wanted?
    I know it’s weird to have the free time, but you will probably come to enjoy it. 🙂

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:22 pm

      I could if I wanted to but it’s not my thing! I did all that in the early days of dating his Dad, my duty there is done! 🙂

  16. Reply
    Jo - Pickle & Poppet
    27th September 2017 at 9:16 pm

    He looks like he had a great time.
    It’s funny isn’t it, the times I have had some me time, I spend it thinking about going home to see the children. I hate the thought that as they get older suddenly they will need me less and less…… #HoneybeeLinky

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      27th September 2017 at 9:21 pm

      I know exactly what you mean!

  17. Reply
    Mummy Snowy Owl
    27th September 2017 at 11:03 pm

    I totally understand this! My little boy is 3 and is getting more and more independent, some days I’m proud and some days it breaks my heart!
    XXX
    Stopping by from #anythinggoes

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th September 2017 at 8:09 pm

      I know what you mean!

  18. Reply
    Emma Reed
    28th September 2017 at 10:10 am

    I experienced this on holiday with my little boy. He spends so much time with me that he was overwhelmed with having Daddy every day for 10 days and I was pushed to one side. I even tried joining in on the beach by kicking a football around and he told me no it was just him and Daddy. It was very odd but he’s 3 and he just can’t handle all these feelings I guess. #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th September 2017 at 8:09 pm

      Ahh that must have been hard.

  19. Reply
    aliduke79hotmailcom
    28th September 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Awww, look at the smile on his litle face! It is hard facing changes like this. My son (he’s 19) has just moved in with his dad. I miss him like mad, but at the moment it is the best thing for all of us. On the plus side I get more one on one time with my daughter. Make sure you do some nice things for you when you get some time to yourself.
    #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      28th September 2017 at 8:04 pm

      I will, promise! 🙂

  20. Reply
    Hayley@ Mission: Mindfulness
    28th September 2017 at 10:20 pm

    Awwww it looks like he had a fab time as the photos are lovely! I hope you managed to find something to do with yourself. 🙂 xx #afamilyfunlinky

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th September 2017 at 6:09 pm

      I certainly did!! I’ve had an easier blog week because of it! 🙂

  21. Reply
    Lucy At Home
    29th September 2017 at 1:53 pm

    Aaaw I’m glad he enjoyed it but I totally feel your pain at the change in routine. It’s can be so tough to step back and let them become more and more independent from us, especially when lots of changes seem to come at once. But he will always need his mama, no matter how independent he gets #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th September 2017 at 6:08 pm

      I still need my Mum now!! Thank you 🙂

  22. Reply
    The Queen of Collage
    29th September 2017 at 2:12 pm

    I think for me I’ve noticed it with the eldest running off to play at toddler group and needing me less than her younger sister does. #TriumphantTales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      29th September 2017 at 6:08 pm

      Breaks your heart a little doesn’t it?!

  23. Reply
    twotinyhands
    29th September 2017 at 9:20 pm

    I get this too! I’m enjoying the time when my oh takes my son off for the day more though at the moment because I’ve got the next one on the way and will be hurled back into the baby carer for a long while! It’s hard to switch off from being Mum especially when you know in 3 hours they will be back and you’ve got
    To be on it again!!

    ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      30th September 2017 at 8:58 am

      It really is, I think switching off completely is impossible!

  24. Reply
    mebeingmummy
    29th September 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Awww! How lovely that he had a great time?! But I know how you mean. Change is gradual but every so often you feel things shift don’t you? Don’t worry, you’re Mummy! You’ll always be needed. Thank you so much for joining in with the #HoneybeeLinky xxx

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      3rd October 2017 at 12:53 pm

      Yes this is very true! Thanks for hosting, it’s a lovely little linky. xx

  25. Reply
    randommusings29
    30th September 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Awww you can see how much he’s enjoying it from the pics. Give it a few weeks and you’ll be looking forward to your alone time
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      2nd October 2017 at 10:57 am

      He loved it. And yes you’re right, I know I will. Thanks Debbie.

  26. Reply
    Muffintopmummyblog
    30th September 2017 at 8:51 pm

    He certainly looks like he had fun! I hope you found something to take your mind off of it – I think you deserve some me-time 🙂 #dreamteam

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      2nd October 2017 at 10:54 am

      The blog has never been so organised! 😉 Thank you lovely 🙂

  27. Reply
    Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    30th September 2017 at 11:54 pm

    This really resonates with me 🙁 Last weekend I went to BlogOn and left Chris in charge, obviously he excelled in everything and the kids barely noticed I’d gone. They need me less and less but that is right (it doesn’t make it any easier though) #triumphanttales

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      2nd October 2017 at 10:53 am

      Hurts doesn’t it? 🙁 Hope you had a nice time though 🙂

  28. Reply
    mummascribbles
    2nd October 2017 at 9:32 pm

    Oh bless him…and bless you too! I bet after a couple of ties it will become the norm and you will thoroughly enjoy your days to yourself! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    1. Reply
      Jaki
      3rd October 2017 at 12:29 pm

      The blog was extremely organised last week! Every cloud and all that! 🙂 Thanks for hosting.

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