Mummy Isn’t Needed

25 September 2017 3 min read
I've been feeling lonely today, almost as if Mummy isn't needed.

There have been so many changes in our little way of life recently and today is just another to add to the list. The Little Man is growing up so fast. It feels like I’m blinking and missing so much. Today, for the first time in almost five years, I have a Saturday to myself. Today, Little Man has gone to the football with his Daddy. Mummy isn’t needed today.

The husband has always gone to the football. As an avid season ticket holder for the duration of our relationship, it’s always meant that pretty much every other Saturday during the football season for the last ten years, he would be at a match and I had the day to myself. That was of course, up until December 2012 and when our little bundle of happiness arrived.

From then on in, I had to pretty much rule Saturday’s out of the equation that involved a football match. It was a given that obviously, on those days I couldn’t make plans because I was needed at home. It’s just the way it is and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. Spending precious weekends with my little fella is always a pleasure. Well, apart from that stage we went through when he was, let’s say…. challenging?!

Today, however, is somewhat different. Today the Little Man has gone off with his Daddy and Grandad to watch the football for himself. Leaving me here, at home, on my own, feeling, if I’m honest, a little not needed.

I know that this isn’t the case at all. Of course, I’m needed. It’s just really weird you know?! When your whole weekends are usually arranged around certain things and then all of a sudden it’s changed and it’s different.

I’ve craved ‘me time’ in the past. Like, desperately. Now I finally have it and I feel a little lost. I guess with the whole starting school thing I just feel a bit like my Little Man is slipping away from me in dribs and drabs. I know he isn’t. He will hopefully always want is Mumma. It’s just a strange adjustment when life as you know it begins to change.

I have no idea how today will go. Whether he will love it or whether he will hate it. I hope he loves it, I really do. His Daddy is a crazy football fan. Devoted, to say the least, and I would love to see this as something they can regularly do together. Enjoy the special Father and Son time together as he does with his own Dad. Three generations of football fans together. It’s a lovely thing really.

As for me. I know today I feel like Mummy isn’t needed, but I’ll be alright. With a house to run there is always something to be doing and with a blog to run, there is never a list that is complete! And if I don’t feel like doing any of those things, I could always go and get my nails done or go shopping. That’s if I can remember how to without a child…!

 

*UPDATE*

I am happy to say that Little Man had a fabulous time at the match and is already asking when he can go to the next one. Sob. I guess Mummy isn’t needed whenever there is a home game from here on in! I thought it would be nice to share with you some photographs of their day together. They make my heart melt.

Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed Mummy Isn't Needed

 

Have you ever had to adapt to new situations or found yourself feeling not needed? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear.

 

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56 Comments

  • Rice Cakes and Raisins 25 September 2017 at 13:25

    I totally get this, the conflich between really desiring ‘me time’ and then not knowing what to do once we get it! It’ll get easier as they get older, I’m sure x x #honeybeelinky

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:38

      As does everything! Thank you.

  • thesingleswan 25 September 2017 at 21:53

    Hey, brilliant. This is great for the little man, and once you get used to it, you will realise that it is great for you too. Promise me that you will make the most of it. Do things that you wouldn’t be able to do when both of them are in the house – write some blog posts, read some books, get your nails done, linger in coffee shops. Whatever you do, do not ‘take the opportunity’ to do some household chores!

    Pen x #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:36

      Haha, no chance! I got SO MUCH done on Saturday, my to do list has never been ticked off so fast! When’s that next match again?! 😉

  • passion fruit, paws and peonies 26 September 2017 at 09:13

    Aww bless you Jaki, I remember these feelings so well. From the age of 9 my son would travel to Le Mans to watch the car racing with my husband. I would be a huge bunch of guys with their sons. I would stress so much and imaging my son missing the comfort and care I would always give him – how would he cope with out me?! – those trips turned out to be the stand out highlights of his year. I ended up feeling very proud that we bought our son up to cope in a man’s world. I also got grey hairs!! #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:34

      Ahhh bless you! I know what you mean! I am so happy though that he enjoyed it and that he gets to spend some quality time with his Dad. Just think of me on an away game though when it’s 2 against 1 when they want it on the radio full blast! 🙂

  • Daddy Poppins 26 September 2017 at 10:24

    Grab that ‘me time’ when you can. It’s great for him, Daddy and you that they have an activity together.

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:31

      I agree! It’s so nice to see them get to spend time together, as his Dad works long hours in the week. I’ll get used to it, I’m sure! 🙂

  • bellfrombow 26 September 2017 at 11:59

    This is my future – I’m a mum of two boys. And I’d rather get my nails done than watch West Ham. What I will say is that I’m 37, and I still need my mum. Don’t worry, they aren’t done with us yet! 🙂 #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:30

      I agree! I’d be lost without my Mum! 🙂

  • Mocktailmommies (@mocktailmommie8) 26 September 2017 at 12:20

    A very heart warming recount!
    Now that my kids are grown up, one being 15 and another 9 yrs, I at times wonder, how long will these birdies be under my wings… So I have just this to share… there will be no “Mummy isn’t needed” till the kids really fly out of the nest!
    – Anagha From Team MocktailMommies
    Have you read my latest post Wardrobe Makeover

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 14:29

      And I still need my Mum and I flew the nest years ago! 🙂 Thank you for reading!

  • mamagrace 26 September 2017 at 18:37

    Glad to hear he loves it, now please book your season ticket at the spa #TriumphanttALES

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 21:59

      Is this a thing?! It sounds incredible! 🙂

  • Nicola wiggins 26 September 2017 at 21:29

    Aww such a lovely post. I prescribe a bath, a book and a bit of telly. 👍 #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 21:54

      That sounds like bliss! 🙂

  • Neil 26 September 2017 at 21:38

    I think we all have the fear of not being needed. I try and cherish as much playtime as I can with my Daughter and hate the thought of it not lasting forever.

    • Jaki 26 September 2017 at 21:54

      I know what you mean! I try not to think about it!

  • Lydia C. Lee 26 September 2017 at 22:18

    That’s lovely he wants ‘dad time’. I’d be relishing the chance for regular time off! #dreamteam

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:28

      It’s certainly happening! 🙂

  • Helen 27 September 2017 at 10:34

    Aww good to see he had a great time but yes it does feel like they slowly but surely need less and less of you….but they will always need you no matter how old or independent they are x
    #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:27

      He will. I still need my Mum at my age! 🙂

  • Fridgesays 27 September 2017 at 12:37

    #triumphanttales I promise im in my thirties and still need my Mum x

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:26

      Me toooo!! 🙂

  • Four Acorns 27 September 2017 at 16:58

    I do remember feeling a bit lost too when all four of my kids started going to school or preschool last year. Then I got into blogging, and the rest is history! (I still enjoy the odd day when my youngest stays home with me, just because he likes it.)
    #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:24

      It happens all at once doesn’t it? All of a sudden they are so much more grown up! This blog keeps me very busy – the day actually flew by!

  • chickenruby 27 September 2017 at 20:18

    is there any reason you can’t go to the football? In our house it was me and the boys who went to the football while hubby stayed at home and enjoyed the break #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:23

      No reason whatsoever, I would just prefer not to! I’m happy that it’s something they can enjoy together! 🙂

  • mommyhomemanager 27 September 2017 at 21:10

    Awww, but look how much fun he had with the boys!
    Can you go with to the occasional game if you wanted?
    I know it’s weird to have the free time, but you will probably come to enjoy it. 🙂

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:22

      I could if I wanted to but it’s not my thing! I did all that in the early days of dating his Dad, my duty there is done! 🙂

  • Jo - Pickle & Poppet 27 September 2017 at 21:16

    He looks like he had a great time.
    It’s funny isn’t it, the times I have had some me time, I spend it thinking about going home to see the children. I hate the thought that as they get older suddenly they will need me less and less…… #HoneybeeLinky

    • Jaki 27 September 2017 at 21:21

      I know exactly what you mean!

  • Mummy Snowy Owl 27 September 2017 at 23:03

    I totally understand this! My little boy is 3 and is getting more and more independent, some days I’m proud and some days it breaks my heart!
    XXX
    Stopping by from #anythinggoes

    • Jaki 28 September 2017 at 20:09

      I know what you mean!

  • Emma Reed 28 September 2017 at 10:10

    I experienced this on holiday with my little boy. He spends so much time with me that he was overwhelmed with having Daddy every day for 10 days and I was pushed to one side. I even tried joining in on the beach by kicking a football around and he told me no it was just him and Daddy. It was very odd but he’s 3 and he just can’t handle all these feelings I guess. #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 28 September 2017 at 20:09

      Ahh that must have been hard.

  • aliduke79hotmailcom 28 September 2017 at 13:10

    Awww, look at the smile on his litle face! It is hard facing changes like this. My son (he’s 19) has just moved in with his dad. I miss him like mad, but at the moment it is the best thing for all of us. On the plus side I get more one on one time with my daughter. Make sure you do some nice things for you when you get some time to yourself.
    #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 28 September 2017 at 20:04

      I will, promise! 🙂

  • Hayley@ Mission: Mindfulness 28 September 2017 at 22:20

    Awwww it looks like he had a fab time as the photos are lovely! I hope you managed to find something to do with yourself. 🙂 xx #afamilyfunlinky

    • Jaki 29 September 2017 at 18:09

      I certainly did!! I’ve had an easier blog week because of it! 🙂

  • Lucy At Home 29 September 2017 at 13:53

    Aaaw I’m glad he enjoyed it but I totally feel your pain at the change in routine. It’s can be so tough to step back and let them become more and more independent from us, especially when lots of changes seem to come at once. But he will always need his mama, no matter how independent he gets #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 29 September 2017 at 18:08

      I still need my Mum now!! Thank you 🙂

  • The Queen of Collage 29 September 2017 at 14:12

    I think for me I’ve noticed it with the eldest running off to play at toddler group and needing me less than her younger sister does. #TriumphantTales

    • Jaki 29 September 2017 at 18:08

      Breaks your heart a little doesn’t it?!

  • twotinyhands 29 September 2017 at 21:20

    I get this too! I’m enjoying the time when my oh takes my son off for the day more though at the moment because I’ve got the next one on the way and will be hurled back into the baby carer for a long while! It’s hard to switch off from being Mum especially when you know in 3 hours they will be back and you’ve got
    To be on it again!!

    ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    • Jaki 30 September 2017 at 08:58

      It really is, I think switching off completely is impossible!

  • mebeingmummy 29 September 2017 at 22:17

    Awww! How lovely that he had a great time?! But I know how you mean. Change is gradual but every so often you feel things shift don’t you? Don’t worry, you’re Mummy! You’ll always be needed. Thank you so much for joining in with the #HoneybeeLinky xxx

    • Jaki 3 October 2017 at 12:53

      Yes this is very true! Thanks for hosting, it’s a lovely little linky. xx

  • randommusings29 30 September 2017 at 16:20

    Awww you can see how much he’s enjoying it from the pics. Give it a few weeks and you’ll be looking forward to your alone time
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    • Jaki 2 October 2017 at 10:57

      He loved it. And yes you’re right, I know I will. Thanks Debbie.

  • Muffintopmummyblog 30 September 2017 at 20:51

    He certainly looks like he had fun! I hope you found something to take your mind off of it – I think you deserve some me-time 🙂 #dreamteam

    • Jaki 2 October 2017 at 10:54

      The blog has never been so organised! 😉 Thank you lovely 🙂

  • Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... 30 September 2017 at 23:54

    This really resonates with me 🙁 Last weekend I went to BlogOn and left Chris in charge, obviously he excelled in everything and the kids barely noticed I’d gone. They need me less and less but that is right (it doesn’t make it any easier though) #triumphanttales

    • Jaki 2 October 2017 at 10:53

      Hurts doesn’t it? 🙁 Hope you had a nice time though 🙂

  • mummascribbles 2 October 2017 at 21:32

    Oh bless him…and bless you too! I bet after a couple of ties it will become the norm and you will thoroughly enjoy your days to yourself! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Jaki 3 October 2017 at 12:29

      The blog was extremely organised last week! Every cloud and all that! 🙂 Thanks for hosting.

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