Keeping Your Sense of Self While Learning to Be Mum

Keeping Your Sense of Self While Learning to Be Mum

The day your child arrives, your world will shift in a way that no words can describe. All at once, you’ll feel overwhelming joy, a deep instinct to protect and nurture this tiny life in your arms, a terrible dread that you’re not ready, and fearful about them having to face the world that awaits them. It’s perfectly natural to feel all of these things at once, to one degree or another. With these new emotions, and your new role as a mum, you’ll start to go through many changes, both emotional and physical, that will help you carry out the role of “mum.”


But your new role as a mum and the changes your little angel brings into your life doesn’t mean you have to stop being who you are. In fact, more than ever, you need to hang on to the things that make you, you. You’re in for some tough times as a mum, and you’ll constantly be doubting if you’re cut out for this mummy gig. (Don’t worry: you are!) Retaining the things that make you the unique person you are will help you weather the storm, and help you persevere when you don’t think you can change another dirty nappy.


To help you keep your sense of your (still relatively sane!) self, and become an even better version of the wonderful woman you are, consider the following ideas:


Create Something!

Creativity plays a huge role in helping us express our interests, desires and dreams. Through our creations, we express what’s most important to us, and demonstrate those interests to others. By making something yourself, you can express yourself, relieve stress and complete a project that will fill you with a sense of accomplishment.


You don’t have to be a skilled artist or carpenter to make something beautiful; there are plenty of simple projects you can do in those rare instances of spare time you have. You can paint something from scratch or use a “by the numbers” canvas, knit your own socks, or develop your own recipes.


Whatever you choose to do, the act of creating something will help you continue to express who you are as a person through your unique works of art!


Start Your Own Blog

Blogging is a great outlet you can use to express yourself and keep a sense of identity while connecting with others and getting some useful tips you can use in your own life. It’s also perfect for busy, working moms because we can put it all out there without ever leaving the house.


Blogging will allow you to chronicle what’s going on in your life, the good and the bad, and share the thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing with other mums who are going through the exact same things. These same awesome mums will also help give you encouragement, while you help them out with your own tips and advice. It’s a win-win for all involved parties!


Your blog doesn’t have to be a full-time commitment either. You can post to your blog as often as you want, and your posts can be as short or as long as you want them to be. As your blog grows, it may even become a source of additional revenue for you, in the form of advertising, sponsored posts, or guest posts from other bloggers.


Starting your own blog is also incredibly simple; you don’t have to be tech-savvy or spend hours researching the in’s and out’s. You just register a domain, upload a basic website design (for which there are plenty of templates you can use), and presto! You’re an authentic, blogging mummy!


Don’t Let Your Marriage Slip

Before you were a mum, you were a girlfriend and a wife. Your man is a source of strength that gives you confidence and makes you feel like the amazing, smart and sexy woman that you are, and you don’t ever want to let go of that!


For all couples, romance fades and marriage settles into a routine. It’s not all bad; it provides a sense of the familiar, and it’s a small source of predictable in an otherwise unpredictable life. For all that, though, don’t let your marriage stop being a priority. You’re still a wife, and you’re still the incredible woman that made that man go down on one knee and ask you to put up with him for the rest of your life because you are all he wants.


So act like it! Hire a sitter once a week and go on a date! Take some time to do your makeup and put your hair up just right; wear a dress that’s just a little shorter than normal, so he can’t take his eyes off you, and put him in his best jacket and tie. Go dance like you did when you first met, have a drink or two, or go to that movie you’ve both been talking about. Don’t be afraid to try something a little more kinky in the bedroom when you get home either!


Whatever you do, do it together, and leave the baby at home for a night. Remind your husband, and yourself, that you’re still the same love-struck woman you were when you first wed, that you cherish one another, and that’s never going to change.


Take Time to Be With Your Friends

One of the first things that fall by the wayside when we marry, and especially when our baby arrives, is our social circle. Despite our best intentions, we just don’t have the time to get pretty, go out, and live it up with our ladies like we used to. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying you should be hitting the bars every weekend or blowing a ton at the shopping centre just because, but mums, if we want to stay sane, and not lose ourselves in the title ‘mummy,’ we need our girlfriends to keep us going!


Spending time with friends is essential for everybody, whether they’re married and mummied or not, but it’s especially true for us. Besides letting us blow off steam, we can speak our minds without being judged, get to be our ‘fun selves’ around our girlfriends, and can discuss topics that we can’t with the baby and husband around. (It’s okay: hubby knows you think the prince is hot – he loves you anyway!)


Additionally, our friends will be in our corner when it seems like no one else will stick up for us. Whether you’re dealing with a jerk boss, reeling from an argument with your husband, or trying to calm down after your 2-year-old’s temper tantrum, your girls will always listen to you and cheer you up, because they’ve all been there too and know exactly what you’re going through. That’s why they’re your girlfriends, and always will be!


You’re Still You, Just Better

Keeping your sense of self can be a tall order after your baby comes, and change is inevitable, but that’s okay. Being a mum is a wonderful, crazy, awesome, frustrating experience, but there’s no set way to do it right. You just have to do it your way!




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