As an adult, seeing the world through the eyes of a child is a somewhat alien experience.
After all, most people are able to rationally break down a problem in their adult years and look for solutions. Children, on the other hand, are very emotive and when something goes wrong with the adults in their lives, they tend to blame it on themselves.
This makes the subject of divorce exceedingly challenging.
Divorce can be a challenging time for families, particularly for children, as most children will feel confused, scared, and overwhelmed during this process. As a parent or guardian, it’s essential to talk to your child about the situation in a sensitive and age-appropriate way.
So, how do you do that? Read on for some tips!
Plan Ahead
It’s necessary to have a plan for the conversation before you start. You should take some time to think about what you want to say to your children and how best to say it. It’s also vital to pick a time when your child is calm and receptive and when you won’t be interrupted or distracted. If you are looking to rehearse what to say in advance, you may need some help, so head to Two Healthy Homes for guidance on what to say and how to approach the conversation.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Depending on your child’s age, they may have different levels of understanding about divorce. It’s also vital to use language that they can understand and that won’t confuse them. For younger children, it may be helpful to use simple language and visual aids such as pictures or drawings. Older children may be able to understand more complex ideas, but it’s still important to use language that is clear.
Be Honest
Children need to know the truth about the situation, but they don’t need to see every detail. You should be honest with your child about what is happening but avoid giving them more information than they need. For example, if the divorce is due to infidelity, it’s not necessary to go into detail about what happened. Instead, you can simply say that the two of you have decided to separate.
Reassure Them
Children need to know that they are loved and that you getting a divorce is not their fault. During this period, it is important to reassure your child that both parents still love them and that the divorce is a decision made between the adults. You should also let your child know that they can talk to you about their feelings and that you are there to support them.
However, it is worth noting that your child will likely need a lot of reassurance depending on their age, so it is somewhat essential for your relationship to be patient with them.
Listen To Them
Children will likely have a lot of questions and concerns about the divorce. Aim to listen to what they have to say and to answer their questions as honestly as possible. If you don’t know the answer, then say so. For instance, your child may ask when they are going to get to see the parent that they are not living with, and if you haven’t hammered this out yet, simply say so. The last thing you want in this process is for your child to feel that you have lied to them and that they can’t trust you. You should also aim to validate their feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
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