Life in lockdown – six weeks in

A few weeks ago I made a promise to myself that more personal posts would start to appear here on this blog. A few weeks ago, I, along with everyone else had no idea how or where we would be just this short time later – a life in lockdown.

I say a short time, but it feels like forever doesn’t it? As I sit and write this we’re six weeks into lockdown in the UK and with no clear end in sight, I felt the need to address the situation as I find it.

Lockdown – It’s not easy

The reality is, it’s not easy, is it? When I say this, I don’t mean the fact that we can’t go out and see our friends and family. I mean the bit about all of us being at home together all the time. I’m not going to sit here and paint a picture of life through rose-tinted spectacles. There are more than enough blog posts out there telling you how to make the most of the family time and the extra time off work to spend with those closest to you. But in real life, it’s just not that fricking easy.

Our situation is this – I continue to work. Prior to lockdown, I worked at home three days a week anyway, so this has just increased to five – no mean feat you would think? Na, not so. Add into the mix a bored, frustrated seven-year-old who is ‘homeschooling’ and an extroverted, furloughed husband who had just found his dream job after being out of work for several weeks, so is naturally desperate to get back to work, and all of a sudden my peaceful work from home set up isn’t quite so idyllic.

I know I’m lucky

Now before anyone complains and tell me I should be grateful – I get it, okay? I get it. I thank my lucky stars EVERY SINGLE DAY that I am one of the privileged ones. I have a job I can do from home with relative ease, and believe me when I tell you I LOVE MY JOB. I’m lucky that I have something ‘normal’ to focus on during this international crisis. Not only that but I have come so far over the last twelve months and have overcome some real personal hurdles during that time too. It’s been challenging to say the least. But the biggest challenge of all of this hasn’t been the work. It’s been the guilt.

Lockdown guilt

Guilt? Yes, guilt. I have gone from being the Mummy who’s done practically everything for the last seven years to the now being the Mummy who works while Daddy does everything and this has been one of the hardest things to get my head around. And what’s more, I think that’s why the Little Man is struggling a little bit too.

But what can you do? We’ve all had to adapt to this crazy, horrendous lockdown situation that we all find ourselves in and we’re all getting through it in the only way we know how. We’re all winging it on a daily basis and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

We’ve drawn chalk rainbows on the side of our house for the NHS. We’ve stood at our front door with the rest of the neighbourhood and clapped to show our appreciation. We’ve enjoyed times in our newly bought hot tub (in hindsight, it really was an ‘essential lockdown purchase’!) and we’ve appreciated afternoons in the garden with the sunshine for company. It doesn’t sound so bad when you put it like that does it?

But, behind closed doors, we’ve had tantrum after tantrum and more ‘I hate yous’ than I care to think about. But at the end of them all is usually a cuddle and an ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it’. What do you say to that? We’re all beyond frustrated and doing the best we can so perhaps a few extra cuddles at this time is what’s needed. Perhaps now is the time to let everything go over the top of our heads while telling ourselves that ‘this too shall pass’.

The challenges to come

I have no doubt that it’s going to get harder before it gets easier. Before long, my husband will have to go back to work as soon as he is allowed to and from what I can gather, the schools won’t be back for some time to come so my daily lockdown challenge will not be just trying to concentrate so that I can get the work done, but becoming full-time Mum again whilst still trying to get the work done. I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling with the prospect of this at the moment.

But, I’ve never backed down from a challenge yet, and where my Little Man is concerned I will do my very best for him. While of course, continuing to do the best for me too. Days will be jumbled and evenings will likely be spent catching up, but as I said earlier ‘this too shall pass’.

We got this

It won’t be like it forever. No matter how much it feels like it will at the moment, it won’t be. Eventually, there will come a day where the husband will go off to work and I’ll take the Little Man to school and I’ll come home to an eerily quiet house to start my day’s work and all this will have felt like some bizarre dream.

Until that day we will keep on getting by in the only way we know how. We’ll laugh a bit, we might cry a little if we need to and we’ll do it all again tomorrow while thanking our lucky stars that we’re staying healthy.

If you’re feeling like this too – you’re not alone. But we got this. Honestly, we have.

How are you coping with life in lockdown? Let us know in the comments.

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