It’s only in the last few years that I’ve come to learn more about people being either introverted or extroverted. I realised of course, over the course of my childhood and young adulthood that I had my own little ways and preferences but I didn’t realise that these things were down to my personality type. This has only been more recent that I’ve come to understand that I am by no means alone in some of the things I do, or how certain situations make me feel.
So, with a view to helping introverts be better understood and maybe, possibly, make those nearest to me, understand me a little more, I decided to share with you, the introverted me.
I like to spend time alone
Some people can take offence if I don’t always want them around. Assuming that it’s because I don’t like their company. This is not the case, at all. I promise you. I just need time to myself. I can be around people, of course, I can but I also need that time to myself just to recharge. If I don’t get this, I can feel myself start to feel uneasy. It’s best for everyone that I get this all-important time for me. I’m not being anti-social or rude. I’m just being good to myself.
I hate last minute plans
I can’t tell you how much this makes me feel on edge. If I am supposed to be going somewhere or doing something, I need to know when and at what time and what any other plans are. I hate not knowing with a passion. I can’t explain why it’s just something that my brain needs to know. If I don’t, it makes me feel really anxious.
This can be quite hard when it comes to my husband. He is totally the opposite. I think he thinks I get uptight about it because he’s happy not knowing when things are going on until the last minute, but I just can’t operate like that. I need to know. For me.
Text me, don’t call me
This isn’t because I don’t want to hear from you or talk to you. Far from it. But if I don’t answer a call from you, shock horror, it might not be because I haven’t got to my phone in time. It could just be that I don’t want to talk at that moment in time. There are two people I can talk to easily on the phone. My Mum and my Husband. That’s it. Anyone else and I get anxiety. It sounds stupid I know but I am not feeling bad about this anymore, because this is perfectly normal for an introvert. In fact, it’s one of the most common traits.
Text me and you will likely hear back from me straight away or at least very soon. Call me and you may just end up annoyed that I don’t pick up and think I’m being rude. Unless of course, the conversation is an emergency then that is different entirely. Failing that, text me first. Tell me you need to chat, then I can call you when I’m cool with that.
Don’t turn up unexpected
I’ve always been a big believer in that you shouldn’t just turn up at someone’s house unexpected. Now I don’t know whether this is entirely connected to my introversion but I can’t stand it when people do this to me. It goes hand in hand with the ‘making plans’ point I made earlier. Even when I’m at home, I will likely know what I’m doing and when I’m going to do it and if someone just turns up unexpected – this means I have to change all of that. Let me know first. Text me. As long as I know in advance and it’s convenient, of course, you will be welcome.
I need 10 minutes to myself in the morning
This didn’t become apparent until I had my own family. For years and years, this was a given. Getting ready for work before I had the Little Man was always a bit of time to myself. But since I have been a Mum, time to myself doesn’t come so easy. So, in recent years I have found myself craving just ten minutes to myself before I get up and start my day. If I don’t get this, I feel on edge. I can’t describe this any other way. Even if for those ten minutes I’m scrolling through Twitter, or just lying there thinking about the day or week ahead. I need it.
Don’t be offended if I turn down your invite
I have lost count of the number of times that I have made plans and have looked forward to them only to get to the day before the event and find myself not wanting to go. The thought of getting dressed up and going out is nowhere near as appealing as snuggling under a blanket and watching the television or a film. So if I ever say no to an offer or an invite, don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me! It’s a cliche, but it’s the truth. Sometimes we just want and need to be at home.
I have a sixth sense
You can’t hide much from me. I have this weird sixth sense that helps me pick up any negative vibes or energy. If someone’s mood is low, you can count on me to pick up on it straight away. It can be annoying at times, especially if the person concerned doesn’t want to talk about it, but at the same time, it can be useful.
I’m not a snob
I was called this a lot as a child. I am by no means a snob. Just because I keep myself to myself and I don’t mix with people I don’t know. Just because I’m quiet and reserved. Just because I’m not the life and the soul of the party. I’m not a snob. I’m just me. I have accepted that so I would appreciate it if you did too.
…and finally…
Don’t try to change me
If you are an extrovert and don’t understand why I’m not more like you, please don’t try to change me. Don’t tell me that I should pick the phone up and make the call. Don’t tell me that I should go out and enjoy myself. Don’t tell me that I should mix with more people and make new friends.
When you tell me to do these things you are asking me to be someone that I’m not. I am me. I’m happy with who I am and you should be too. Please, just understand that I am not like you and that I am happy doing things and living my life the way I feel comfortable. I will do things the way I like to do them and in the way that I enjoy doing so. Please just accept that we are all different and what works for you might not work for me. You are more likely to gain my trust this way and I am more likely to ‘come out of my shell’ with you in the long run.
So, that is the introverted me. No holds barred. Right there in black and white. This is who I am and I’m happy being this way. It doesn’t make me weak or a lesser person. It makes me, me and I can live with that.
If you want to read more about introverts and their traits, check out this article on elephantjournal.com. I could totally relate to it and it explains us brilliantly.
Are you an introvert? Do you know one? Can you relate to what you have read? Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.