Mother’s Day really makes you think doesn’t it? To say I’ve changed since becoming a Mum is an understatement. I’ve written about Being Mum and Being Me and yes, of course, there is still a part of the old me there, because I’ve clung onto her, but as a whole, I have changed a great deal as a person.
I understand my own parents so much more now than I ever did. I understand every worry. I understand every disagreement. I understand that everything they ever did or said was because they wanted what was best for me. I get that now. It’s time I said a big thank you for everything my parents have ever done for me.
Wake up call
Anyone who is a regular to this blog will know that my Mum has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and three years ago she went through chemotherapy when the Cancer progressed. It was an awful time and anyone who has ever been in a similar situation will understand how powerless you feel.
The person that brought you up and was always there for you is now sick and frail and there is nothing you can do about it.
It was a huge wake-up call for me. Massive in fact. Thoughts crossed my mind that I didn’t want. What if the worst happened? What if I lost my Mum? I couldn’t imagine a life without her in it. It didn’t bear thinking about. It still doesn’t.
It was a really tough time for all of us and I am grateful every day that Mum came through it. Grateful that Mum is still here and well enough to enjoy her one and only Grandson. To spoil him rotten and completely dote on him. She loves him so much and it is very much reciprocated. The two of them together is the most beautiful site in the world.
The making of me
My Mum has made me the person I am today. I have many of her ways. I have her smile, her eyes, her nose, her hips! (Thanks, Mum!) I am very much a mini-me. Sadly, I didn’t inherit her amazing cooking skills and I’m nowhere near as domesticated, but I have inherited the things that really matter.
I was never maternal. I was petrified at the thought of being a Mum. I didn’t know what I was doing. Mum showed me the way and helped me more than I ever could have imagined. When my husband was away with work when Little Man was just six weeks old and suffering from unbearable colic, Mum stayed up all night with me to help. I will never forget that. I could have been doing that alone, but I didn’t. She was right by my side.
She has taught me how to love utterly and completely. She has taught me how to put others before myself and how to make sure that my child has everything he needs.
She will likely say all these things come naturally as a parent. And she is probably right, but she showed me all of these qualities when I was growing up so I firmly believe that it is Mum that I have to thank. It’s Mum I have to thank for making me the Mum that I am today.
You never stop needing your Mum. We laughed the other day when I broke a tooth and I was really upset about it. All I wanted was to go and see my Mum and despite being the wrong side of 35, that’s exactly what I did. Mum’s just make everything better, no matter how old you are.
I see a lot of myself in my Mum and I see a lot of my Mum in my Little Man too. In fact, the first time I ever laid eyes on him, the second he was born, I saw Mum. Lots of people have said that too. It seems we both inherited her smile. All the more reason to use it more.
Mum has been through so much over the last few years. Too much. A lot of it has been out of our control but she’s also been through a lot that was unnecessary and this will forever make me very bitter. Life is too short and too precious for upset and unkindness, but unfortunately, some people don’t realise or appreciate this, but it’s their loss. It’s at times like this that I get to return the favour. It’s my turn to always be there.
Thank you, Mum
It shouldn’t take Mother’s Day to say thank you. I like to think I thank you often for all of the things that you say and do and for all of the help that you give me. From the little things like picking up shopping for me to the big things like babysitting and being a shoulder to cry on. I just feel like I don’t say it enough.
You are so special. You don’t deserve what you have been through over the past few years and I wish I could make it all go away. I would in a heartbeat, I hope you know that.
Just know that you are so very loved. By all of us and if I can be half the Mum to our Little Man as you have been to me and my Sister, then I will be doing an amazing job. Because I learned from the best.
So this Mothers Day, thank you, Mum, for being the best and for being you. We love you so very much.