I couldn’t let this week go by without marking it in this week’s Wednesday Wisdom. This week I have felt the worries and strains of parenting at a whole new level! Today, along with many, many other Mums and Dads out there, I waited with baited breath for the arrival of The Email. The Email that would tell me where my Little Man would spend his Primary School years.
I had no idea what time the email would arrive – I’d never done this before! All I know is that from the moment I put the Little Man to bed last night, I became extremely emotional. It dawned on me that within a matter of hours I would find out whether we would get our first choice school. I became so anxious and within the space of ten minutes, I had convinced myself that he wouldn’t get a space and then I was stressing about how on earth I was going to tell him!
The school we picked is so important to us. Not only did my parents go there, my Sister went there, I went there, but it is our local school and is right next door to the street where my Mum and Dad live. So if there was an emergency and I was at work, someone could be there in a shot. Obviously, it’s a great school too which isn’t overcrowded, and it’s the perfect location for me to be able to drop him off before work and collect him on the way home. AND all of his nursery friends were hoping to go there too. I was desperate for him to get a place.
The night was long last night. I started dwelling on how the hell the last five years have gone by so fast. Five years ago this coming weekend, I found out I was pregnant. I remember it well as it was the day before my Mum’s birthday. It seems like yesterday. How can we possibly be living the reality that is school admissions already? He’s still just my baby!
But the thing is he isn’t is he? Of course, he will always be my baby – even when he is thirty with a family of his own. But in reality, my Little Man is becoming just that.
I catch myself watching him some days. In total awe of the clever little boy, he is becoming. I find myself wondering where on earth the time has disappeared to. I’ve brought up and nurtured a real life human being who is soon to start the next chapter in his life and it scares the crap out of me. It scares me because even though by the time September comes, I know he will be ready, I know I won’t be.
The time has gone by in the blink of an eye, yet at times the days have dragged. The weeks have dragged when they are particularly bad ones. Why is it that the best of days always speed past yet the more difficult ones go on forever? They leave you counting down the minutes until bedtime and then when bedtime comes, you feel guilty for wishing away that precious time. Jeez, parenting messes with your head.
So this week’s quote kind of sums up how it all feels.
“The great paradox of parenting is that it moves in both slow motion and fast speed”
And doesn’t it just?
I know that the next four or five months are going to fly by. Soon I will be the Mum at the school gate trying to get a grip of herself as she waves her precious boy off on his first day. The very thought makes me feel sick. But it’s given me a bit of a reality check too. These next few months are the most precious. It won’t be like this for us ever again after he starts school. So starting from now I’m going to try and make the most of every day. It won’t always be easy but I’m going to try my best. These days are so precious. Just like he is. Why can’t they stay little forever?
Thank you for reading.
PS – We did get our first choice school – today was a good day!
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