Are Mums Judged On Their Appearance?

Are Mums Judged On Their Appearance?

The labels

‘Yummy Mummy’ and ‘Slummy Mummy’. Two phrases that relate to appearance, that are not at all unfamiliar in this day and age. I say ‘phrase’ but I think what they really are, are ‘labels’.

Over the past couple of years, since being a Mum myself, I’ve come across discussions and conversations, in particular, about Mum’s on the school run who appear to look ‘perfect’ and don’t have half of their child’s breakfast or spit up down their clothes. They may not have intended to be perceived in a negative way, but I interpreted them in this way. Whilst listening in, or reading the comments, I felt that these Mum’s were in some way looked down upon because they had made an effort with their appearance.

There were comments such as ‘How do they find the time?’ or ‘What’s the point? It’s only the school run?’ or even worse ‘They must really think something of themselves!’ There were other comments that appeared in a jealous nature, such as ‘I wish I had my shit together like she must have’.

So this got me thinking. How much are we judged by how we present ourselves? Are we a ‘Yummy Mummy’ because we put on a face of make up and put on some nice clothes to leave the house? Are we taking too much time on ourselves in the mornings and not enough on the children if we spend a few minutes in the company of a straightening irons and curling tongs? Or are we considered a ‘Slummy Mummy’ if we choose to dash out on the school run in yesterday’s clothes, or even our pyjamas under a Winter coat? Are we looked down on if we choose to spend an extra ten minutes of precious time in bed before the kids surface demanding every bit of our attention? And the question is, can we win either way?

in the world you live in you will always be judged don't let that stop you from being yourself

Appearance v. Reality

What pushed me to write this piece today was a recent experience I had on the nursery drop off. I caught a couple of other Mums looking at me in what I can only describe as a judgemental way. I can’t guarantee there was a sneer or a smirk but whatever it was made me feel uncomfortable.

Now is the time to admit that yes, I do wear a full face of make up most days. Yes, I do make sure my hair is nice before leaving the house and yes, I do have to be happy with the clothes I’m wearing before setting about my day. This is who I am.

Does that mean I substitute my time with my son in the morning and spend it with my make up bag and curling tong instead? No. He’s fed, watered and perfectly presentable and above all, happy when he starts his day. Do I ‘think something of myself?’ Not at all. I’m no better than the next person whether she has greasy hair or whether she looks like she’s just stepped out of a beauty salon. Do I have my shit together? Hell no. On most days what these people don’t see is me in a flap like every other person out there trying to get their kids out of the door. Forgetting hats, scarves and gloves and having to go back for them. Panicking because I’m worried we’re going to be late arriving at nursery and then having to rush the goodbye cuddles. I am far from having my shit together, believe me.

I present myself in this way because it gives me the confidence to be who I am. Without it I feel uncomfortable with myself. Some might say that is sad and I should be happy in my own skin. Yes. I probably should. I have been known to step out ‘au natural’ but I just prefer not to. That doesn’t make me a bad person and I certainly don’t think I’m better than anyone else. I do it for me. Not anyone else. And why shouldn’t I?

A Bigger Picture

I wanted to get a wider view on this subject so I asked some of my fellow Mum bloggers if they had any stories, experiences or opinions on it.

Rachel at Coffee, Cake & Kids

I never used to bother much for school runs, but we recently moved to a new area and new schools. I’ve found myself putting on a full face of makeup on now for the school runs, and don’t quite live in legging and Ugg boots anymore. Not sure why – I think subconsciously that it’s a need to ‘impress’ the other mums (which is ridic!) where I was best friends with the mums at the old school – they’d seen me drunk and in my PJS many times! However, I feel better for making an effort every day, and I think I feel more like my old pre-child self now rather than a ‘slummy mummy’!

Naomi at Tattooed Mummy

I never wear make up. Mr TM says I look scary when I bother to put on a bit of lippy to go out. So I just don’t bother. In the 80s, when I was a teen, I wore loads! Think boy George and Madonna, but as I’ve matured I realise the real me is just as much fun as the painted me. I’m more likely to be wearing face paint at a festival than makeup

Natalie at Mumworthy

Went to a toddler group today with another mum I know. There was a lady with her little one, with gorgeous high heels and a cute knitted mini dress, lovely swishy blond hair and nice make up, and big smily face. I looked at her and though, oh she looks great, wish I could look as glam. The mum I went with said ‘omg omg look what she’s got on, seriously, we’re only at a toddler group’. Funny how we both looked at her so differently.

Mo at Adventures Of A Novice Mum

I didn’t care too much about my appearance before becoming a mum, and I’m less bothered by it now. I was never a make-up kinda girl anyway, and it’s not for want of trying. And now with my bump, I’ve recently not even bothered much with jewellery. And I don’t care much for what people think.

Laura at Five Little Doves

I never wear make up unless I’m going out OUT, or brush my hair to be fair, and have lost count of the number of times I’ve seen other Mums on a night out, or even teachers from school, who have been shocked to see me dressed up and said, “Oh wow you look really good when you make the effort!!”. Such a back handed compliment!!!

Sarah at Run Jump Scrap!

I have to wear some make up as have no eyes but never bother with my hair. Clothes wise I hate looking scruffy I have to admit and try and make a bit of an effort. I always wear jewellery. This was me before kids and I’m not changing.

Katie at Mummy’s Diary

I only wear make up on the two days I’m in work πŸ˜‚ do feel judged by others especially on the school run. I used to wear make up every day I’d never go anywhere with out now I just don’t care I don’t have the time for it lol.

Becky at Little, Big & Me

I don’t wear make up unless I’m going out out but always put on mascara and do my brows if I’m going anywhere with other mums. I like to feel like I’ve made a little effort. Recently someone asked me if I’d had my hair done as it looked a lovely colour. My reply was that I’d washed it so it no longer had the grey tinge of dry shampoo!

Vicky at Being Tilly’s Mummy

I am doing the school run more and more in my pyjamas. I have to walk there and back and it takes the stress out of having to rush if I cut out the getting dressed. My older daughter told me off the other day for doing it. She is 24 lol.

Helen at All The Beautiful Things

I have worn makeup daily for as long as I can remember! I adore putting it on and would never leave the house without a full face of makeup and my hair done. I would literally feel naked without it. I often have comments like ‘where do you find the time’ or ‘your makeup is always nice’ which is nice to hear but honestly I have putting it on down to a fine art of about 15 mins!!

Katie at Mami To Five

Most days I wear wellies and ‘allotment clothes’ on the school run. I occasionally get the odd surprised looks and comments about how lovely I look when I go wearing normal clothes. I think some of them presumed I was a slob and never realised I actually owned nice clothes too!

Gemma at Somewhere After The Rainbow

I put pressure on myself to put makeup on now, as the few times I haven’t, I always get comments that I look poorly or tired. I’m very much mum uniform of jeans and jumpers, but I have to have my make up on!

Jenny at Monkey and Mouse

I don’t even know how to put make up on, I’ve never been interested in it. But no one has ever commented or looked down on me because of it, I’m just treated like anyone else!

Kirstin at With Hope and a Swear

I wear make up pretty much everyday. I’m also a ‘young’ mum and have a tattoo sleeve and my knees tattooed! The knee tattoos get A LOT of disapproving looks!

Sophia at Tattooed Tealady

Both my partner and I are fairly heavily tattooed and pierced. I have had comments from strangers, mainly those who are in their 50’s+, make comments in the street about what bad influences we are and what a bad example we are setting our daughter. Whereas others see our modifications as cause for concern, we see it as a way to bring our daughter up showing her that you can express yourself in many ways, and still succeed, be happy and healthy and live a fulfilling life, regardless of whether you have body modifications or not.

Rebecca at BecsterΒ Dot Com

Don’t wear makeup. Never have and never will. Wouldn’t even know where to start with the stuff. Haven’t noticed that people have been judging. If they have I’m not bothered by it. The judgement I know I get is from the hubby because I keep wearing my “I ❀ Mark Webber” hoodie!!

Nellie at Little Shits and Giggles

I don’t feel pressure to look good but I like to every now and then. I’d only wear make up on occasions because I’m too lazy and sometimes wear a tinted moisturiser to take that slight look of death off of my face. I overheard some young one call me a milf yesterday anyway so I can’t be that disgraceful!

Frances at Whinge Whinge Wine

I am fairly certain that my daughter’s preschool think I’m a tramp (a homeless one, not the other kind). I’m not. I’m just really tired and can’t be arsed to spend ten minutes of my life painting my face to walk over the street. They always apologise before handing me invoices though and say I don’t have to pay it til x or i can pay weekly, no rush, really sorry. There is a school mum who always drops off her son in really short miniskirts and platform shoes as well as a full face of makeup, and so I guess by noting this I am not entirely without judgement myself I suppose. She looks SO COLD.

Kayleigh at Candyfloss & Dreams

I love makeup and I love wearing it. It can take me up to an hour to do a full face. However I think it’s important to give your skin a break from time to time and let it breathe! I also think it’s good for Evie to see me without makeup, and that I don’t “need it” every day. We both love a good pamper though, makes us look and feel good.

Natasha at Mummy & Moose

My day to day look can best be described as “I wasn’t expecting to get out of the car”
I have worn (black) pyjamas outside. When I think about it actually I wear them often, but they’re black! I occasionally do make an effort but I work from home so I just don’t really see the point? Admittedly I have upped my game since starting blogging as now photos are more likely!

Nicole at The Mum Reviews

Most of the mums in my son’s class all have exactly the same style of coat. I often wonder if they would accept me into their tribe if I had the right coat.

I realise there were quite a few there, but I felt there was such a big range of thoughts and opinions, I didn’t want to leave any out!

Can’t We Just ‘Be’?

To conclude this post, it simply shouldn’t matter to anyone else, how we dress, what we do or don’t put on our face or how we style our hair. If someone has an issue because I drop my kid off at nursery whilst wearing a pair of heeled knee high boots and red lipstick, that’s their problem not mine. Just like I shouldn’t and don’t care if someone rocks up in a onesie – good for them – they look super warm and comfy!

be yourself no one can ever tell you you're doing it wrong james leo herlihy

Can we please just be who we want to be with no judgement? At the end of the day don’t we all just endeavour to be good Mums and good people? We all try our best. I just like to do my best with a few coats of mascara and a curl in my hair.

Must go, I think I left the curling tongs on…!

 

Have you ever experienced anything discussed in this post? Do let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear your stories and opinions.

Huge thanks to the bloggers featured on this blog post – be sure to go and check out their awesome blogs and show them some love.

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79 Comments

  1. 5th December 2016 / 4:56 pm

    Ah such a great post! Being judged on anything is really hard and I think we need to show our children not to be anxious and self conscious about the way they look. Thanks for the feature!

    • Jaki
      6th December 2016 / 9:15 pm

      My pleasure Kat. Thanks for contributing. Glad you enjoyed it.

  2. CaptainKirt
    6th December 2016 / 8:49 am

    I don’t do school runs anymore (school walks actually) but never noticed them being anything more than what they are, taking your child to school. My only bug bare is people in nightwear which thankfully wasn’t an issue when I was going up to school.

    • Jaki
      6th December 2016 / 9:18 pm

      I don’t even like going out to the car in my pyjamas! But each to their own πŸ™‚

  3. 6th December 2016 / 9:41 am

    I love the input from the other ladies. One of our worst traits as the fairer sex is how judgemental we can be. I look SHOCKING without make-up so I wear a little every day. I admire people who make an effort to look great (not me) and I also admire the people who don’t feel the need to bother. Live and let live and all that. Great post! #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki
      6th December 2016 / 9:19 pm

      Completely agree with your comment. I really enjoyed putting this one together. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  4. 7th December 2016 / 9:19 pm

    I’m a make up and hair done everyday type of girl. It’s just me and I like that πŸ™‚ x

    #BloggerClubUK

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 3:58 pm

      I hear you!! πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ thanks for reading. X

  5. 7th December 2016 / 9:19 pm

    Hi Jaki

    good post, its impressive how many quotes you’ve managed to round up from other bloggers. When you enter a setting with 100’s of different parents such as the school gates you’re guaranteed to have a different opinion to some of them. I usually think along the lines of “if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one”

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 3:59 pm

      Absolutely. It certainly seems this way! Thanks for reading.

  6. 7th December 2016 / 9:20 pm

    Fab post – thank you for including my comment in here! It was so interesting to read! #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 3:59 pm

      My pleasure lovely. Thank you for contributing:) Glad you enjoyed it.

  7. 8th December 2016 / 1:51 pm

    This post is so spot on! I don’t feel “right” in myself if I don’t have make up on and feel my clothing looks good and have often felt like people at baby/toddler groups almost looked down on me which use to drive me mad as I wanted to pull them aside and tell them “you haven’t got a bloody clue how much I’m juggling!”

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 4:00 pm

      Totally get what you mean. When we go through transformation from non-mother to mother I think it’s so important to keep in touch with the old you. This is how I do it πŸ™‚ thanks for reading.

  8. 8th December 2016 / 3:26 pm

    Thanks for featuring me hun. To be honest those women who looked at you would have just been jealous as you looked good. I sometimes look at others Mums and think “wow” but would never sneer; it’s their choice and time!! At the same time no make-up is fine too. The whole point is the kids don’t give a crap and love their Mums, warts and all! Great post and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst xx

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 4:02 pm

      Completely! It melts my heart when I might be having a day at home and haven’t bothered too much and little man says ‘Mummy you’re beautiful’. That’s all that matters deep down. Thank you for contributing lovely. Xx

  9. 8th December 2016 / 3:49 pm

    Love it! I am 100% of the time in my gym gear ( I run a fitness studio) and on more than one occasion another mum has commented on me showing off my figure in my leggings. Well it might have been a double barbed compliment but it makes me feel uncomfortable! This is my work, so this is my “uniform” and that is how it is.leave your judgements mums and dads, we are all just getting by x

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 4:03 pm

      Couldn’t agree more! They’re likely jealous and wish they could wear leggings!! πŸ˜„Glad to enjoyed it and thanks for reading. X

  10. 8th December 2016 / 5:23 pm

    I really love this post. My little one is not yet at the age where I am doing a school run but I totally can see what you mean in the post. I think lots of other mums unfortunately do judge on what other mums do or don’t wear or how we present ourselves. I think that’s such a shame because regardless of how you dress, it is who you are as a person that matters and perhaps it would be nice for them to just get to know one another rather than pass snide comments. Playground behaviour really and not a great example for the children to follow right? This attitude doesn’t change once you become a mum. Me personally- I wear make up every single day unless I am literally not going out anywhere. I wear perfume and earrings and do something decent with my hair. I might wear jeans or a skirt and a nice jumper or top, and boots. Basically I don’t go out in my pyjamas or loungewear. Ever. This is because, like you wrote, it’s who I am. I like to look and feel my best for the day. It doesn’t mean I spend less time feeding or bathing my son to achieve this; I just get up maybe a tad earlier and get myself half organised. (Plus I am used to putting makeup on quickly nowadays!!) probably someone will have an opinion on this. But I try not to go out with food all over me. Equally, when people say ‘how has she got time to look perfect’ or whatever, one could say it’s not a good example to rock up in loungewear and that its lazy. We are all different. Maybe their choice is not to wear makeup. Maybe they are unwell. Maybe they have a mountain of things going on at home. It’s such a shame people judge in this way. Everyone is different. Xx sorry for long reply- great post!

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 10:41 pm

      Ah I love a good long comment to get stuck into!! I completely agree with everything that you’ve written here. We sound like we’re on the same page for sure. It’s refreshingly reassuring that I can turn myself from looking like death warmed up to presentable within a few minutes aswell! Thank goodness for make up! πŸ™‚ Thanks so much for reading and commenting πŸ™‚ xx

      • Laura
        8th December 2016 / 10:44 pm

        Ah you’re so welcome! Xx

  11. 8th December 2016 / 5:42 pm

    I think people who make comments on others are actually the ones who are insecure. It would be nice if we could just accept people for who they are and embrace our difference and just be kind to each other. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime πŸŽ‰

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 10:42 pm

      Absolutely. Completely agree with you. It’s a shame not more people think like we do.

  12. 8th December 2016 / 6:11 pm

    I wear make-up and straighten my hair whenever I leave the house – school run, dashing to the shop, whatever. People can judge away, they haven’t seen me with no make up on! Lol #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 10:43 pm

      Hahaha. I know what you mean!! Thanks so much. X

  13. 8th December 2016 / 7:56 pm

    Aaah to be a woman!! So much doubt, pressure, jealousy all rolled up!! It’s difficult but I suppose we just have to get on with it!! I’m definitely a no make up, jeans and t girl!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 10:57 pm

      Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  14. Topfivemum
    8th December 2016 / 8:45 pm

    It’s so funny as I was talking about this with my husband today. He’s off work this week so I’ve dragged him to various soft plays (ahhh ‘holidays’ with 2 under 2!)

    Today a woman came into the soft play with a short skirt, long boots and nude tights. She looked lovely with her long glossy hair but I had two reactions. 1) she looks French (my hubby’s French and I’ve noticed a lot of French woman dress this way. I’ve also noticed they make a lot more effort generally, with or without kids). 2) how can she sit down and not bare her arse? 3) is never be able to wear that. My hubby took one look at her and said ‘fit’, then ‘all the mums hate her don’t they?’ Hmmm interesting. I looked around and it’s true that she got some furtive glances from other mums around her. I think at throne of the day, we like to compare ourselves to others. Rightly or wrongly. But I find it’s generally always less about the person and what they do/don’t wear and much more about those judging and how they are judging themselves against those standards.

    Personally I wear whatever feels comfortable. I rarely leave the house without makeup on. When I do I feel like a proper frump. Partly I make an effort as I don’t want to feel like I’ve let myself go since having kids. Because putting on a bit of slap in the morning is the 10 minutes of the day where I get to be me and look after me.

    Thanks for this post. I’ve really enjoyed reading what everyone has said. Ruth xx

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 10:58 pm

      Ah this comment made me smile! So pleased it wasn’t all in my head and it does actually happen!! Loved your comment and pleased you enjoyed the post πŸ™‚

  15. 8th December 2016 / 9:52 pm

    I think my style can be best described as ‘changeable’! Some days I rock the school run in joggers and high tops, other days I look like I’m going for an interview. The latter days I feel a bit like I’ve gone out in fancy dress and always revert back to laid back again. I guess it depends on my mood and in all honesty, who I’m seeing that day – there are some people I can feel totally myself around, and others I reckon would judge me by appearance, so I make a bit more effort. Sad eh?
    Thanks for sharing this with #coolmumclub, I loved reading everyone’s take on it.

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 11:02 pm

      Not at all I know exactly what you mean! I did the run the other day after I’d been so poorly through the night. Made a considerable lot less of an effort than usual and ended up meeting one of my little boys best friends mum! I was mortified I looked so awful. Now that probably sounds stupidπŸ™„πŸ˜ Glad you enjoyed the post it was a good one to write. X

  16. 8th December 2016 / 9:55 pm

    Such a great topic! I have to admit whenever I drop my little man at burley there is one Mum who use looks super cool every time and I sometimes find myself feeling inadequate! This is mainly as when I drop him off I am in my work uniform ready to go straight to work… and I know if I was in my usual get up Id feel much more confident! It funny isn’t it!? How we even judge ourselves on what we look like compared to other mothers!? <3 #coolmumclub

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 11:05 pm

      Completely. If I’m honest if I wasn’t going straight to work I can’t guarantee I’d make as much of an effort. I do go regularly in Uggs & skinnies at the moment because I’m lucky enough to wear casual clothes in my job. But I still have to have my face on! Thanks for reading and commenting:)

  17. 8th December 2016 / 10:05 pm

    Gemma sure has me thinking that if I did wear make-up perhaps less people would say I look tired. #DreamTeam

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 11:07 pm

      I’m living proof it works. Last night I got less than three hours sleep. The little one had a disturbed night. Yesterday I must have pre-empted my need for concealer this morning!! Thank goodness I bought some.

  18. 8th December 2016 / 10:26 pm

    I regularly look a scruff at the school gates in the mornong as I’m usually on my way to the gym so no make up, gym gear, hair tied back and a big coat. By the afternoon I’m dressed properly, makeup usually and hair normally done. There are a few mums who look flawless at school and plenty who look a mess and I’ve even spied pyjamas before which is just lazy!!

    • Jaki
      8th December 2016 / 11:12 pm

      Got to be honest I never get the pyjamas thing. But I won’t judge. They may have their reasons. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  19. 9th December 2016 / 9:38 am

    Usually our first impression of someone is based on what we see. So someone in their pyjamas is someone who didn’t get dressed for whatever reason and i think naturally most people will make a judgement based on that. they might not even mean to! Sometimes i make more of an effort if i have time because i don’t want to be seen as a scruff bag or a ‘slummy mummy’ because I’m not I’m just mum. some days i look good some days i don’t!

    • Jaki
      9th December 2016 / 5:01 pm

      I think that’s probably the same for most of us. I’m on my way to work most days when I drop my little one off but on the days I’m not going into the office I’m likely missing the mascara!! πŸ™‚ Thanks for reading.

  20. 9th December 2016 / 9:53 am

    This is a great post! You’re right, we have no right to judge others. I never bother with makeup but always make sure i’m dressed and hair is presentable. I remember judging a (now) friend once when we first met at baby group for looking so glam and prettified. then I actually got to know her and found out that she gets up at 5am every day to do her own routine without taking time away from the kids, because she feels like it gives her confidence and helps her cope with the day ahead. I also used to judge the pjs but not since I went shopping in my slippers when I had severe tonsillitis and hadn’t slept for three days, lol. I have tried to be less judgemental since then. It really doesn’t matter what others are wearing anyway! xx #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      9th December 2016 / 5:02 pm

      Ah completely agree! Whilst I don’t get up quite that early I do make sure that what I do for me doesn’t interfere with what I need to do for my little one. There is always a way and a reason we do these things. Thanks so much for reading. I’m so pleased you enjoyed it.

  21. 9th December 2016 / 3:00 pm

    We are most definitely judged on appearance. This is why you can find me picking my son up, clad in oversized sunglasses and a hoodie. πŸ™‚ Awesome post!

    #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki
      9th December 2016 / 5:03 pm

      Ah yes! Oversized sunglasses – the perfect Mum accessory! Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks so much.

  22. 9th December 2016 / 8:23 pm

    Oooh this is great. There have been occasions when I have turned up to pick ups drenched thanks to a forgotten umbrella. And got THAT look. But honestly, I couldn’t give two hoots. School will be next year for us, so perhaps the school run will be a bit different. Who knows. Some strong points raised, fab post. Thank you for sharing with the #DreamTeam xx

    • Jaki
      9th December 2016 / 8:36 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it. School run is next year for us too. I’ve got to be honest, I’m dreading the school run. Far more hanging around the school gate *groans*. But I completely agree with you. It’s best not to care. Even if the ones judging do. Thanks for reading. Xx

  23. 9th December 2016 / 10:21 pm

    I loved your meme – judgements do happen and we do just have to get on with it – I wish I could look well presented when I was on the school run. Once my son’s teacher said to me ‘your hair look’s nice today, what have you done?’ I just replied ‘washed it’! Laura’s comment made me laugh as I get that quite a bit too. Nicole’s also made me laugh as I know the type of school she means!!!!! #familyfun x

    • Jaki
      10th December 2016 / 11:19 pm

      So pleased you enjoyed the post and the input from our fellow bloggers. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  24. 10th December 2016 / 5:52 pm

    I wish that women around town were like my blogging ladies. Supportive, no matter what.

    Good or bad, I honestly never think about much less comment on other women’s appearances. I have in my adult life considered myself to be confident and true to myself.

    I adore makeup and ALL things girly. I don’t wear it to preschool drop off because I am always gym-bound, but don’t feel entirely like myself if I don’t.

    This has more to do with my interest in glancing at myself in the mirror and thinking, “DAMN girl, you look GOOD!” than my concern over other people’s opinion of me.

    Because I know that these women are out there, I tend to not give them much of a chance to get to know me. I keep to myself and choose my friends very carefully.

    Thought provoking stuff here! Thanks for a great read. #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      10th December 2016 / 11:16 pm

      Thanks so much. I’m so pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you for your kind words.

  25. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    11th December 2016 / 4:48 pm

    I’ve had an odd relationship with makeup over the years – I used to never be seen without a full face of makeup and it was my confidence booster. But then in my mid twenties I started to suffer from awful eczema all around my eyes and I wasn’t able to wear any makeup at all, so my relationship with it changed massively. I’ve since got the eczema under control, but I have to admit that some days I’ll wear a full face, other days I just can’t be bothered and don’t wear a scrap! Really interesting post, and so interesting to hear so many other bloggers’ thoughts too. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      11th December 2016 / 8:50 pm

      Thank you, I’m so pleased you enjoyed it. It’s been a good talking point this one and great hearing everybody’s opinions on it. Xx

  26. 11th December 2016 / 7:00 pm

    Oooh interesting. I am very much say by day kind of person. I prefer to have make up on, hair semi acceptable and something decent to cover myself with but it doesn’t always happen and sometimes it’s scrapped back hair, no make up ugg boots and leggings. I’m ok with it. I haven’t actually thought about this in great detail BUT we haven’t got to the school run yet and I take my two to nursery so late we’re the only ones there LOL and it’s only one day a week so no doubt I have aaaall this to come. Great. Hahs. Thanks for sharing at #familyfun x

    • Jaki
      11th December 2016 / 8:49 pm

      My pleasure. It’s been great reading everybody’s comments on this one. Glad you enjoyed.

  27. 11th December 2016 / 8:38 pm

    This is SUCH a fantastic post! And so true! I used to get annoyed with myself, because I didn’t feel like I looked how I used to, before having children. I was confident with my appearance back then (maybe a little too confident) nowadays I feel like I’ve got the balance just right. Minimal make up on a normal day (or none if i’m having a good skin day, which is never) and more make up if I’m going somewhere fancy. No one should ever be judged on how they dress or what they look like, especially on a crazy busy day. I tend to do nursery runs at the moment in huge baggy jumpers & leggings! xx
    (Sorry for the long comment! Haha)

    • Jaki
      11th December 2016 / 8:48 pm

      No need to apologise lovely! I’m so pleased you enjoyed it. My aim to was to approach it from every angle and I think I achieved it. Thanks so much for leaving a great comment and well done for finding your happy balance πŸ™‚ xx

  28. 13th December 2016 / 10:11 pm

    Such a good post.Sometimes I make an effort as I have to head off to work after the nursery drop-off and I’m not skilled enough to do make up on the train!!! But I also love those days when I turn up in my baggy jeans and sweater and mum bun hair full of Batiste spray!!! And yes it’s all about you and having your own style. Sadly I think a lot of other women do judge each other. Totally agree about having a bit of quality time with your kids first thing instead of getting the big hair do sorted.

    • Jaki
      14th December 2016 / 7:32 pm

      Thanks so much I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I think it’s the same as anything. Everything in moderation. I love a day where I can stay home and not bother. It makes a refreshing change.

  29. 15th December 2016 / 9:52 am

    I can’t go out the house without any make up on, I always have mascara, eyeliner and fill my brows in, as I have very fair eyelashes and brows. It’s my confidence booster and it makes me feel happy. I remember when I had my son, just after giving birth I washed my hair and did my make up, everyone couldn’t believe the effort I put in having just given birth, but it was more to make me feel comfortable and confident than to just ‘look good’! #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:43 pm

      I think a lot of people confuse vanity with confidence. I am not vain in the slightest! But a bit of slap makes me feel so much more confident. I was the same as you. I always chose a shower over sleep when my little one was a newborn. It made me feel so much better to be clean and (slightly) refreshed! Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚

  30. 15th December 2016 / 10:03 am

    This post is so true. Whatever we do as mums there is always guilt involved. We should allow ourselves to be who we want to be, whatever that is, and allow others to do the same without judgement. #Sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:40 pm

      I completely agree! Thank you for stopping by πŸ™‚

  31. 15th December 2016 / 10:16 am

    I wear make up 6 days out of 7 most of the time. I am the only one at the baby group I take my daughter to “put a face on”. I wear nice clothes most of the time too. It’s not for anyone it’s for me and I would never judge a mum for how she looks. We should empower each other not pull each other down!

    Great post!

    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:39 pm

      Here here! Fantastic comment. Thank you so much and good for you. So pleased you enjoyed the post. x

  32. 15th December 2016 / 10:22 am

    I am exactly the same as you. I always wear a full face of make up and always have presentable hair. I do it for me and no one else. I wish I felt as confident without makeup as I do with it but I don’t and it has taken a long time but I’m ok with that now, it is just who I am. On the days we need to be and out of the house bright and early I get up earlier than I normally would so I am ready and don’t have to rush around with the girls. I have on occasion had a few ‘I don’t know why you bother?’ comments which I am usually very good at brushing off. But I don’t know why it needs to be said, I have never once asked a non makeup wearing mother, ‘Don’t you think you should put some effort in?’ It just wouldn’t cross my mind. So much so that I was having a conversation last week with one of my best friends and she said she was looking for a light weight foundation because she doesn’t wear any. I was actually shocked she didn’t because I hadn’t really considered her appearance in that way before. I simply see her for who she is, I don’t see the lack of makeup. Surely the person underneath the makeup/bare face/clean/ dirty clothes is far more important? I loved this post! It is something I have thought about a lot in the past.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:38 pm

      I am so pleased you enjoyed the post and I totally relate to everything you said. It’s reassuring to know that not everybody judges and there are others out there like us. I like to look in the mirror and see something I’m happy to look back at – without make up I just look so tired and pale! I’m so much happier when I’ve made a bit of an effort and if I haven’t got a problem with that, then no one else should!. Thanks for reading and leaving a lovely comment. xx

  33. 15th December 2016 / 1:51 pm

    A thought provoking piece. I think people are too quick to judge. When I was on maternity leave, very early on, some days I would put make up and straighten my hair before hubby left for work, even though generally I wasn’t go anywhere. It helped me to still feel like me #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:46 pm

      That’s what it comes down to. Yes we are Mums but we are still the people we always have been. Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  34. 15th December 2016 / 8:27 pm

    This is so interesting. I NEVER used to wear make up – all through my teens and early twenties, I was not interested in it at all. Then about a year ago, I just suddenly started wearing it and now I wear it pretty much every day. It’s a very “natural” look, but makeup none-the-less. I think, having been a stay at home mum for 4 years, I wanted to claw back a bit of time for me- a sort of treat to myself each morning. #SharingTheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 9:31 pm

      And rightly so! We all deserve a bit of special time and if it helps us feel better about ourselves, even better. Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  35. 15th December 2016 / 10:17 pm

    Hey Jaki,
    Such an interesting post – I’ve not ever really given it much thought. I wear the same small amount of makeup every day – I feel naked without mascara. That’s about the only thing I HAVE to wear or I reckon people will think I’ve been punched in the eyes and they’ve gone teeny tiny! Can’t say I’ve seen too many Mums glammed up at our school gates – although I read an article in our local magazine about School Run Style and had long coats in for Β£1k ‘you could throw over your gym kit’ which made my eyes boggle and wonder who on earth actually does that…!
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      15th December 2016 / 10:31 pm

      Β£1K?!? That’s absurd!! As for the gym kit, I don’t have time for that. I’m usually on my way to work!! So glad you enjoyed the post Kimberly. Thanks for leaving a great comment. Ps. I know what you mean about the eyes! Thanks goodness for mascara!! πŸ˜†

  36. 17th December 2016 / 6:38 pm

    Great post. We all just need to do whatever we feel comfortable with and sod everyone else. Personally I don’t wear makeup or do my hair unless I’m going on a rare night out. I used to do both every day when I worked in London and I think I would have got a few odd looks if I didn’t but since moving back to the north east I haven’t bothered. To start with we were renovating a house so spent all day covered in plaster dust so not much point, after a few months of that I just never started wearing it again and that was 11 years ago. Thankfully my husband actually prefers me this way as well. I never judge anyone on the school run for how they dress or whether they wear makeup, we’re all just getting on and living our own lives the best way we can and that’s exactly how it should be x
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      18th December 2016 / 8:22 am

      I completely agree with you. Thanks for taking the time to comment πŸ™‚ xx

  37. 18th December 2016 / 3:32 pm

    I rarely wear makeup on the school run and when i do it gets a ‘ fancy pants’ comment.I dont have a spare 30 seconds in the morning so it’s a bottle hat and any clothes i can find to drop my 2 off #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      18th December 2016 / 9:11 pm

      Why do you get a fancy pants comment? Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  38. 21st December 2016 / 11:52 am

    Love this post, I always try with my appearance but not as much as I did pre-motherhood. Before my boys I had hair extensions, eyelashes on, fake tan, acrylic nails etc now I don’t have the time to do my acrylics or hair extensions, I don’t waste time with eyelashes but I do wear my make up and I do try to find time to slap a bit of fake tan on. Mums are always judged but being judged doesn’t bother me, it’s how I feel that counts! #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      21st December 2016 / 11:14 pm

      Absolutely! It is hard to find the time I agree. If you’re anything like me you’ll have make up application in 10 mins down to a fine art!! πŸ˜„

  39. 11th April 2017 / 10:47 am

    This is a great post and thank you for including my comment. It reminds me of this quote from a movie i watched last night about how being good is not about being better than others but about being your best self and comfortable in your own skin. From Kingsman – random I know – but i always listen carefully when Colin Firth is talking. 😊

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