When the Chemo’s over…

When the Chemo’s over…

Cancer. It’s a bastard. I think that much we can all agree on. Day in, day out we hear of it taking another life. We hear of another diagnosis. Another life being turned upside down by the dreaded six letter word that no one wants to hear.

Most people have been affected by Cancer in one way or another. Some will have had a friend have it. Some will have had their grandparent’s have it. Some will have had it themselves. Some will have had a parent have it. I am one of the latter some. My Mum. My wonderful Mum.

It’s Mum’s birthday this weekend and I am so very grateful (more than you will ever know!!) that she is here to celebrate it. Last year was a colossal pile of shit in terms of how years go. If you have been a regular here on this blog you will already know that my Mum went through an intense few months of chemotherapy. She got weak. She got tired. She lost her hair. It was horrible. Horrible to watch and horrible to see. Throughout it all she was unbelievably brave. My Mum. My beautiful Mum.

Thankfully the Chemo finished. Thankfully her hair grew back and thankfully the Mum of old started to reappear. There was finally light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. But, she continues to have treatment and she continues to be brave. Maintenance treatment will continue for the next eighteen months. It’s not over. There is still the tiredness, there is still some darker days. It goes on and is still very much a part of her life. And of our lives.

Cancer doesn’t just disappear after chemo is finished. Cancer stays with you whether treatment is successful or not. Cancer gets in your mind and is like a horrible nag in your head that insists on a reality check every now and again. There is always a fear. Always a worry. Cancer is scary. Cancer is a bastard.

I am always positive with my Mum. I try and lift her up when she feels down, because surprisingly, unbeknownst to a lot of people, ‘cancer patients’ and ‘cancer survivors’ suffer more emotionally AFTER the chemotherapy. I wish more people were aware of this. There is a feeling of uncertainty. What happens now? What if this? What if that? It isn’t like completing a course of antibiotics and off you go. It’s so much harder than that.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is this. If you know someone who has been through the C word and has come out the other side. Don’t stop caring. Don’t stop asking how they are. Don’t always believe them when they say they are okay because chances are, they might not be telling you the complete truth. Keep giving the hugs. Keep sending the texts. Keep picking up the phone. Keep being there. When the ‘fuss’ has died down. When the hospital appointments lessen. When people start to forget, because they do, and they will. Believe me. They will need you more than ever. More than you will know. Far more than you realise. And they will be so, so grateful.

Please. Just be thoughtful and please just be kind.

Happy Birthday Mum. Here’s to so many more. Keep being you. Love you. xxx

 

kindness

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A Mum Track Mind

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15 Comments

  1. 29th April 2016 / 11:16 pm

    I am so glad that your Mum is recovering, how utterly worrying this must have been, and still be for you. My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter and I remember that constant fear, worry and panic far too well. He was very lucky and made a full recovery but still has six monthly checks where we hold our breath and pray for good news. Everything you have wrote here is so true, I love that kindness quote too and I continue to sprinkle that shit everywhere. Xx

    • 29th April 2016 / 11:33 pm

      That means a lot, thank you so much. My little man has been a constant rock (despite the tantrums!) to us all and every day I’m grateful that he gave us such a lovely distraction from all the crap we went through.
      I hope your Dad continues to stay in good health. xx

      • 30th April 2016 / 10:25 am

        I bet, sounds like you’ve all really been through it. And it’s always there isn’t it? I remember feeling like all of a sudden I was brutally aware of my parents mortality, it’s such a wake up call, I still worry about the prospect of it returning every day. Thank you, I hope that your Mum continues to beat this, lots of love. Xx

  2. 30th April 2016 / 4:29 pm

    I’m pleased to hear your mum is recovering, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be not only for her but for all of your family. #fortheloveofblog

    • 30th April 2016 / 4:30 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words. Much appreciated.

  3. 30th April 2016 / 5:46 pm

    Oh this made me so tearful and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this with your beautiful mum. It is my biggest fear and I’ve really taken on board your words so thank you and I send lots of virtual hugs to you and your mum … stay strong #fortheloveofBLOG

    • 30th April 2016 / 6:59 pm

      Oh bless you. Sorry I made you teary! I guess that’s always a good sign I’ve evoked some emotion!! 🙂 thanks for your kind words, it means a lot. And thank you for reading.

  4. Baby Anon
    30th April 2016 / 6:08 pm

    This gave me a lump in my throat. You are right, cancer is a bastard. So wonderful that your Mum is doing so well now, and no doubt your support helps enormously. Happy birthday to your mum, I hope she has a wonderful day. I am sure she is so proud of you #fortheloveofBLOG

    • 30th April 2016 / 7:00 pm

      Thank you so much. It means a lot to hear kind words. And thank you for reading and taking the time to comment.

  5. 2nd May 2016 / 9:31 pm

    Beautifully written post Jaki and so observant. Cancer touches us all in some way and yet it can be easy to forget about after the treatment and obvious horror if it didn’t actually happen to you personally. I’m really sorry to hear that you and your Mum have been going through this – cancer is such a bitch isn’t it?! Wishing her all the best for the future and a full recovery. Thanks so much for sharing this very personal story with us on our first week of our linky – we really hope you can join us again next week on #fortheloveofBLOG xxx

    • 3rd May 2016 / 2:04 am

      Thank toy. It’s lovely to have kind words. I hope if just one person learns something from this then it was worth writing & sharing. Xx

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