Guest Blogger Series: When Did Relationships Get So Hard? – MommyAndRory

Guest Blogger Series: When Did Relationships Get So Hard? – MommyAndRory

Here we are again. These guest post slots roll around so quickly, don’t they?! This one is particularly welcomed as I am currently on my holidays with my boys, so this week the wonderful Becky from MommyandRory is stepping in with a post that I love. Here is a little word from her before you read the post.

“Hi, I’m Becky Clark. A full-time working mom of one and a blogging novice. I decided to start MommyandRory during my maternity leave as an outlet for parental ramblings. Since then it’s become such a big part of my life. While the majority of my posts are based around parenting you’ll also find some delicious recipes, handy reviews and the odd giveaway.”

Guest Blogger Series: When Did Relationships Get So Hard? - MommyAndRory

When Did Relationships Get So Hard?

Do you remember back in the day when the most challenging part of the relationship was deciding who would come first in your MSN name, your best friend or your boyfriend? Now it’s all about who gets the lie in and which one of you has to wash the pots. What happened to that spontaneous couple who frolicked, delirious with sexual desire? Oh yeah, that’s right, they decided to have a baby.

While babies are largely to blame for the lack of impromptu passion in adult relationships, they are not the sole cause. When a new relationship forms it’s exciting. You have this overwhelming desire to spend every waking minute together. It’s almost like the world around you stops. Suddenly you’re high on this new drug. When you’re not completely off your tits it’s the only thing you can think about. The rational part of you knows that it can’t last and eventually you’ll come down. You’ve survived enough failed relationships to know that our lives are not animated by Disney. Before long the real world takes over and soon enough the tiniest thing he’ll do will piss you off.

Once the honeymoon period ends shit can get serious very quickly. This is the time when most couples take their relationship to the next level, they move in together. Everyone knows that you don’t really know someone until you live with them and it’s true. Living together means seeing the person you love in a whole different light. You suddenly go from seeing their best side to seeing every side. As they say the good, the bad and the downright revolting.

It also means that you’ll quickly start to notice their annoying habits. Leaving their pants on the floor, not putting the milk back in the fridge, using an inexcusable amount of loo roll when they go for a shit…need I go on? It’s around this point that you’ll start to question your future. Are you prepared to put up with this crap for the rest of your life? I’ve heard rumours that apparently some women have successfully kicked their other halves into shape – moulding them into ‘perfect partners’ – personally, I think it’s a load of old codswallop. You’re either willing to sign up for a life sentence or you’re packing your bags and running for the hills.

Obviously, this works both ways. While it infuriates women to find the toilet seat up, I’m sure men are equally as arsey when they find random tampons laying around the house! *Sarcasm alert. If I’m considerate enough to house my lady products out of sight be a star and put the chuffing lid down!

So now you’re living together, you’re accepting of each other’s bad habits, maybe you even decide to get married (something which I can’t comment on as he is yet to put a ring on it – I can’t imagine why) and now you’re ready to start a family. In an ideal world that this the preferable sequence of events. The reality is often very different. Regardless of whether your pregnancy is a surprise or if you’ve gone through months, maybe years of trying, I’m not sure that any of us really ready for the turmoil which lays ahead?

If you thought moving in together was painful, raising a child together is a whole different ball game. Bad habits which once drove you to despair will now seem trivial. Your worlds revolve around a tiny human who refuses to comply with the standard protocol and everything begins to feel like an impossible task. As you begin to lose touch with the real world, you’ll  find yourselves competing for the ‘who’s the tiredest parent’ award. Don’t worry things get easier around four months. Just as you start to believe in your own parenting techniques sleep regression hits and everything goes to shit.

The truth is that relationships get hard when we became adults. Children or no children there comes a time when one night stands and flings just don’t cut it. We yearn for commitment and companionship but it comes at a price. Adult relationships aren’t about spontaneity or lust, there about compromise and understanding. Living your lives in each other’s pockets will be difficult at times but real love prevails. As the old saying goes nothing worth having comes easy.

Guest Blogger Series: When Did Relationships Get So Hard? - MommyAndRory

 

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I think so many of you will relate to this post – I certainly know we do! Four and a half years down the line, and we STILL have the ‘Who’s the most tired?’ conversations! Will that ever end?! Thank you, Becky, for contributing a fantastic post to my Guest Blogger Series, don’t forget to grab your badge at the bottom of the page.

If you would like to get involved in the Guest Blogger Series, drop me a message by filling in the form on my Contact Me page. I look forward to hearing from you.

JakiJellz

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22 Comments

  1. 30th June 2017 / 11:12 am

    This is a conversation my partner and I have a lot, “what happened to us?” “I miss hanging out together” But we do still hang out just that it’s on the floor playing with our daughter or quickly hanging out clothes together so we can do something more interesting! Its reassuring to know it’s not just us! Thanks for making me feel normal!

  2. 1st July 2017 / 6:05 am

    Yes, i think you’ve summarised everything in that last sentence: nothing worth having comes easy. Very true, Also, who has it harder, someone not in a relatiopnship or someone who is married. and has been along time? Tough question to answer I think. #thatfridaylinky

  3. 2nd July 2017 / 12:06 pm

    This is all so true! Always good to know it’s not just you 🙂

  4. 2nd July 2017 / 1:06 pm

    This is so true, adult relationships are hard. But they really are worth the work, if they put the bloody seat down!! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

  5. diynige
    2nd July 2017 / 1:40 pm

    Great series yes kids. Definitely change everything although I think for the better great read Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  6. 4th July 2017 / 6:56 am

    Kids have changed our marriage. I often miss the relationship we had pre-kids. But also nothing makes me love my husband more than seeing how he loves our kids. It’s not worse, just different.

  7. 4th July 2017 / 9:05 am

    Relationships do change but for the better i think. I’m definitely the most tired in our house ! Lol #TriumphantTales

  8. 4th July 2017 / 1:33 pm

    Hubby and I have our 9yr wedding anniversary this month and I suddenly realised yesterday that I haven’t planned ANYTHING for it. Where is the romance? Where is the months of hard work planning a luxurious getaway and picking out the perfect present? Eeek! The problem is, so many other chores take over. But, when I asked hubby about it, he pointed out that romance isn’t what relationships are about – it’s the everyday acts of love, like getting up with the kids so the other can sleep in or having a toast for breakfast because there’s only enough milk for 1 person. #triumphanttales

  9. 4th July 2017 / 3:10 pm

    I’ve been with my husband since we were 18 and how we’ve both changed. I feel lucky to have grown with him rather than away but when we pair up there are always going to be compromises to be made. #triumphanttales

  10. 4th July 2017 / 3:32 pm

    This is lovely and that last sentence says it all. A grown-up relationship takes work and it becomes so much harder when children come along … but it’s so worth it. #TriumphantTales

  11. 4th July 2017 / 7:32 pm

    very true. we have so many arguments and disagreements over the stupidest stuff. I have to remind myself that times change and relationships do, too, so it would happen regardless of having kids. #triumphanttales

  12. 4th July 2017 / 8:13 pm

    #triumphanttales I think the fun in long term relationships is not letting the mundane take over, being spontaneous where possible – with babies this is hard but a random take away in the middle of the week can really help you connect. I guess you also have to learn to live with and adapt around your partners odd habits…all easier said than done.

  13. 4th July 2017 / 10:08 pm

    Such a brilliant post, it’s definitely all about understanding and compromise. I hate fighting about trivial stuff so much! #triumphanttales

  14. 5th July 2017 / 9:20 am

    the most important question to ask in a relationship is can i live my life without this person? then all the bad habits won’t be bad habits. Both Peter and I had children when we met, what is changing our relationship is the children having left home

  15. 6th July 2017 / 2:57 am

    It’s so hard when we are right smack in the thick of it all…like for the next twenty years!

    #triumphanttues

  16. 6th July 2017 / 10:52 pm

    Agree that nothing worth having comes easy – but sometimes I wish it wouldn’t be so hard! Thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo

  17. 8th July 2017 / 11:28 am

    Things got better for us when the girls transitioned to their own room 6 months in. Then there’s the teething period which has thrown everyone. #TriumphantTales

  18. 9th July 2017 / 8:31 am

    I never really understood what people meant when they said a marriage is hard work, you have to work at it. I do now though. You certainly do have to work and compromise but it is worth it. Certainly nothing comes easy though and relationships are no exception, children or no children. I do believe children are the biggest game changer though lol – that tired parenting award is a coveted trophy in our house! #triumphanttales

  19. 10th July 2017 / 9:10 pm

    I can definitely relate to this, I think children actually brought us closer together and be more tolerant of each other. Having children makes everything real…there is no walking away now!

  20. Morgan Prince
    13th July 2017 / 5:51 pm

    A great post! I think we all change slightly when we enter a relationship and it’s not until we revert to the ‘real’ us that we learn whether our partner can live with us (and vice versa). Children definitely make things more interesting! 😂
    Thanks for linking to #pocolo

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