Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child – Zara Lewis

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child – Zara Lewis

It’s guest post time already. These fortnightly instalments sure make the time go really quickly, don’t they?! This week we are hearing from Zara Lewis who is discussing how to find the right parenting style for you and your child.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis

Zara Lewis is a mum, fitness & yoga enthusiast and a regular writer for High Style Life. She is devoted to implementing healthy life habits in every aspect of the life of her family and friends. She loves to share her parenting tips and is always open to learning some new skills because she sees her parenthood as going to school forever. She enjoys travelling, hiking, cycling and baking.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis
Before you get into reading and analysing the characteristics of four main types of parenting styles, it’s essential to mention that there’s no one right style. As a parent, I became aware that a child can show many different types of behaviour that don’t always fall into one definite category and the way you deal with that cannot be achieved with only one specific parenting style if you wish your child to learn and grow up properly. In that respect, each of the following four parenting styles has something important to offer you.

Authoritarian Parenting

Discipline, rules, discipline and some more rules. You basically get the gist of Authoritarian parenting style. This type of behaviour towards your child involves exposing your child to a set of rules that they need to follow unconditionally. Unfortunately, most of the time, there’s a lack of explanation as to why these rules are so important to follow. If a parent is completely devoted to this type of parenting, children will probably grow up to be very diligent and obedient, but they will almost surely lack the much-needed self-esteem for proper socialisation. In some cases, rebellious phase in teen years can get out of control. Rules are definitely very important for a child, but if they spend their entire childhood feeling pressured, that won’t be a healthy environment to grow up in.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis

Authoritative Parenting

Even though they share a similar name, Authoritative parenting style greatly differs from Authoritarian parenting. Actually, most people would agree that this type of parenting is probably the best option for a healthy, happy and successful child. It also involves setting up rules that need to be followed, but the strictness and punishments characteristic of Authoritarian parenting are not there. Instead, children are given reasons and explanations for the importance of certain rules, they are encouraged to overcome obstacles with positive reinforcement and generally treated as capable and responsible. In theory, this type of parenting would allow your child to grow into a confident and cheerful adult, able to analyse different situations and solve problems. Still, it is one of the most difficult styles to follow through in practice since it requires utmost patience and devotion from a parent.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis

Permissive Parenting

Permissive, indulgent or attachment parenting all stand for one specific pattern of parenting style. In this case, parents usually opt for a role of a friend more than that of a parent. The lack of discipline is obvious, which can foster some bad behavioural habits in a child later on. Still, this type of parenting is perfect for bonding in early years. Showering your child with unconditional love as they are still very young will definitely strengthen the relationship between you. Constant contact thanks to baby carrier and comfy newborn wrap will allow you to spend time with your child whatever you do, be it outdoor errands or taking a nap together on the bed. Still, it’s essential to stress that, while being extremely permissive during your child’s early years is very beneficial, the benefits will only start to disappear if you don’t take up a different approach as kids grow older.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting style, also known as neglectful parenting, is definitely not something that you should consider. It’s characterised with complete neglect and disinterest in your child’s life other than their basic needs. No bonding, no attention and no expression of love and care are things that make children grow up to be insecure, unruly and distrustful. Not only that but children who are left alone to figure out the world, often perform poorly in academic studies and social contact. Apart from using this parenting style as the ultimate bad example, the other reason for mentioning it is the undisputable fact that sometimes, on very specific occasions, you will have to let your child deal with a certain problem on their own. It’s very important that you stay aware that your hero-role and over-protectiveness won’t always be for the greater good.

Guest Blogger Series: Finding The Right Parenting Style For You And Your Child - Zara Lewis
Children don’t need a teacher or a boss from the first day that they’re born but they don’t need an adult friend either. What they need is proper guidance, respect and support. Unfortunately, there’s no instruction manual that will tell you when to act this or that way. It’s up to you as a parent to analyse the specific situation and act the way it will benefit the child the most in the long run.
What children need is proper guidance, respect and support. Click To Tweet You can find Zara on Twitter under the handle @ZaraELewis and find her other articles online at High Style Life.


Thank
you, Zara, for a really helpful and insightful post. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will find this informative and helpful! Don’t forget to help yourself to the Featured badge at the bottom of the page!

Please do feel free to leave us your thoughts in the comments below.

If you would like to get involved in the Guest Blogger Series, drop me a message by filling in the form on my Contact Me page. I look forward to hearing from you.
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30 Comments

  1. 20th May 2017 / 1:56 pm

    This is a really interesting read, I’m pinning for future reference! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    • Zara
      22nd May 2017 / 8:58 am

      Thank you for reading 🙂

  2. Tara Neale
    20th May 2017 / 2:04 pm

    Wording tends to show a definite bias towards a certain style which would then question the authenticity of the title and imply that one style is superior rather than choosing the right one for you and your child. In addition, this is a VAST over-simplification of the subject. There are infinitely more than just three styles. I hope that follow-ups will clarify these matters.

    • Zara
      22nd May 2017 / 8:57 am

      Dear Tara, I may agree with you to a certain extent. This is a very serious topic and it would require lots of data added for sure. However, a single post can’t be enough for something that scientists devote entire books and studies to, so I agree with you that additional posts would certainly clarify some questions and I’d be happy to go further into this. Until then, if you’re interested in more details, I’d love to suggest following the work of Diana Baumrind, an eminent clinical and developmental psychologist, who developed a theory of 3 main parenting styles in addition to some others which derived from them. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  3. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    21st May 2017 / 10:08 pm

    I think I’m a little bit of each, depending on the situation and context. I wouldn’t say I’m uninvolved but sometimes I want the kids to work something out for themselves so I step back. I wouldn’t say I’m authoritarian but I have some rules that are non negotiable. #blogstravaganza

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:03 am

      I agree with you that lots of parents would discover some characteristics of each of these parenting styles in theirs too. And basically this is the main purpose of the article – not to teach you how to be a parent, because we’re all doing our best already, but to identify some of these things and work on it. Finding the right style that works both for you and your child is of the greatest importance. Thanks for reading!

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:04 am

      I’m glad you love it. Thanks for reading!

  4. diynige
    22nd May 2017 / 9:51 pm

    A fascinating read really enjoying the feature Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:05 am

      Thank you 🙂

  5. 23rd May 2017 / 4:50 am

    I’m a different style parent to each of my three children. I have found that a combination works best! #anythinggoes

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:12 am

      I agree with you completely! Each child is so different and unique, so if something works for someone doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll work for someone else. I have two children and each of them is so different. But finding out some of these things in my style(s) shows me what to work on in the future, when it comes to improving myself as a parent

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:13 am

      Thank you 🙂

  6. 23rd May 2017 / 8:02 am

    Oh this is very interesting. I think a lot of would like to be the second with a mix of the third or at least I would. That said parenting is hard and I don’t think I can’t stick to any one style as situations change and adapt as do my responses. Hopefully though I’m still doing right by them. #triumphanttales

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:21 am

      There is no the right and the wrong style. Each child is unique and we should just find the right way which will work both for us and our children and stick to it. Thanks for reading!

  7. keepmum1
    23rd May 2017 / 9:02 am

    great post. we are currently going through the difficult transition of permissive to authoritative as our toddler is more of a preschooler now!!!
    #triumphanttales

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:24 am

      Things with preschoolers can be tough sometimes, but you’ll make it eventually. Wishing you all the best with your transition period. Thanks for reading 🙂

  8. 23rd May 2017 / 2:22 pm

    I’m a little confused why the post opens with “there’s no one right style” and then goes on to say which styles are right and which aren’t. However, that aside, I’m definitely in the Authoritative Parenting group. I think it’s so important to explain things to children so that they know why some behaviours are allowed and some aren’t #triumphanttales

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:38 am

      I wouldn’t dare to go for labels in the article. It is just a simple list of the main parenting styles according to some well-known psychological researches. As you already mentioned, each parent will recognize some of the listed characteristics in his or her style of parenting, what is good about it, what he/she is proud of and what they have to work on further to improve it.

  9. 23rd May 2017 / 5:42 pm

    i think it’s really hard to decide in advance what parenting routine use wish to follow, there are so many circumstances that influence the way one parents i think in all honesty it’s just a natural instinct #triumphanttales

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:45 am

      I agree with you completely about the natural instinct! As I already said, there’s no the right and the wrong style, as there is no a typical child nor a typical parent. Each child-parent relationship is different and unique, and I think it’s interesting for parents to discover in themselves some things they never knew about and how to work on these to improve them.

  10. 24th May 2017 / 11:16 pm

    This is a really interesting read, I never knew what any of these terms meant!

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:39 am

      I’m so glad you liked it! Thank you for reading the post.

  11. 26th May 2017 / 7:43 am

    A very interesting read. I think your summation of what children need is on point. Nice post.
    #TriumphantTales

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:46 am

      Thank you so much!

  12. randommusings29
    26th May 2017 / 1:34 pm

    Why do we have to put labels on everything! Can’t parents just be left alone to make the right choices for them and their families.
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:48 am

      It’s not about the labels, but the things we can do to improve ourselves as parents, to define the things we don’t like about us being parents and how to work on these to make it better. Thanks for reading!

  13. 26th May 2017 / 10:08 pm

    Some of this makes me really sad, I think sometimes it’s easy to read into things too much (I appreciate that is needed some times!) but basically we all care for/love and support our children and their development in ways that suit us/them and our situation. Really interesting read. #FriYAYLinky

    • Zara
      27th May 2017 / 12:51 am

      I completely agree with you! Thanks for reading!

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