Why Parenting Will Change Your Life

Why Parenting Will Change Your Life

It’s been mentioned on this blog before in various posts that I had never been the maternal type. Growing up I was always the youngest and I never really had much to do with children younger than me and had never really given parenting in my future a second thought. I rarely held a baby and when I did I had no idea what to do with it! It wasn’t until I was in a committed long term relationship and engaged to be married that the conversation inevitably came about.

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t that bothered at that stage. My then fiancΓ©e wanted kids. He’d made that perfectly clear. So I guess, I just went along with it. Then after we were married, it really did feel like the natural thing to do. We got pregnant in early 2012 and then a week before Christmas this little beauty was born!

How parenting will change your life

I was incredibly naive. As I mentioned before, I’d never really been around young children and that continued on into adult life. In the later years before becoming a Mum, the closest I got was to my niece, who was a baby when I met her Uncle, my now husband. I had no idea just how much having a child would change my life.

I mean, you can have babysitters, right? You can still go out? I can still have nice clothes and hair and make up? I can still watch the same programmes I like on the television and listen to the same music. My life doesn’t have to change completely. I’ll just have an extra person to look after as opposed to just my husband….!

WRONG.

Well. I say wrong. Yes. The things above can happen and DO happen. But do I feel the same towards them? No.

Yes we can get a babysitter and go out. It’s not a problem. Do I always want to leave my boy? No. The attachment I feel to him, and the need to be near him is something I’ve never been able to really describe.

Yes. I can still have nice clothes and make up and I do, to an extent. Can I afford all of the things I used to buy? Not so much. I have clothes and food to buy for Little Man now instead and that is more important.

Can I watch programmes on the television I used to? Yes, but not necessarily when it’s being broadcast. Thank goodness for the Sky box. Things have to be recorded and watched when I get the chance these days. Sometimes things sit there for weeks before they’re watched.

Can I listen to the music I used to. Of course. But generally only on my commute to work. Gone are the days when I would get ready for work with my music blasting. Gone are the days when I would get through the mundane housework chores with my favourite band for company.

My ‘me time’ is limited. Very limited. It’s usually only the few hours I get after Little Man has gone to bed – which is probably why I have so many late nights. Because I’m cramming my old life, the old me, into a couple of hours before my own bedtime.

I’m getting to the point now, after being a Mum for four years, that I can’t really remember what I used to do before I had a child. How did I fill my days? What did I do for an entire weekend before I was playing shops or doing jigsaw puzzles? Painting pictures and sculpting Play Doh? I can’t remember.

There are times I get frustrated that I don’t have the time to do the things that I want to do. Times that I’m so tired in the mornings because I’ve stayed up too late the night before because it’s the only chance I have to get things done.

I could work full time to earn more money so I could buy the things I used to. But I don’t want to. I could get a babysitter more often so I could go out and do the things I sometimes need to. But I don’t want to. I could put the music on the stereo and my programmes on the television instead of back to back episodes of Peppa Pig or Topsy and Tim. But I don’t want to.

Because I’ve changed. Parenting has changed me. Being a Mum has changed me. I no longer think for just myself. My first thought in the morning isn’t about me. My last thought at night isn’t about me. And all my thoughts in between aren’t just about me.

The love that you feel the minute your child is placed in your arms is like something I have never ever known. Immediately you would give up everything for that child. You would die for that child. It’s consuming. It’s intense. It’s unconditional. So that’s why. That’s why the stuff that used to matter, doesn’t really matter anymore.

I want to spend as much time as I can being the best Mum that I can be. I want my child to know that I was always there as much as I could be. That I chose to work part time so I could be there with him as much as possible. I want him to know that I love him unconditionally and by giving him my time and giving him myself, this is the most precious of ways.

How parenting will change your life

So. Why does parenting change your life? Because the love you have for that child and the love you receive in return, will change your heart, your mind, your soul and your priorities. It will change everything. And I for a fact wouldn’t change THAT for the world.

 

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54 Comments

  1. Rochelle
    16th January 2017 / 12:27 pm

    I absolutely love this! I too was very clueless about babies and didn’t have any idea what I was letting myself in for when I decided to continue on with my pregnancy as a single mummy. It’s not easy, but when I look at my kids I have no regrets. They’ve changed me for the better and your post just made me smile thinking about it.

    • Jaki
      16th January 2017 / 12:53 pm

      Ah thanks Rochelle. Thanks so much. It’s a shock to the system isn’t it?! I’m so pleased you enjoyed the post. Thanks for leaving me a lovely comment. x

  2. 16th January 2017 / 5:30 pm

    I think that phrase “kids come into your life, not the other way around” is really hard to stick by! I feel the same as you sometimes. It’s hard to find anytime for yourself apart from bedtime. It’s such a massive change and so true; you can’t remember what you did before either! xx #marvmondays

    • Jaki
      16th January 2017 / 7:02 pm

      I really can’t! I was beginning to think baby brain lasts forever but maybe it’s just replaced with Mum brain!! πŸ™‚ xx

  3. 16th January 2017 / 7:01 pm

    Yes, it changed everything. It changes what you worry about, your politics, it changes how you act and what you want to do on Friday night…EVERYTHING and all for the better #MarvMondays Pinned πŸ™‚

    • Jaki
      16th January 2017 / 7:05 pm

      I could agree more! And thank you for pinning too! X

  4. 16th January 2017 / 11:14 pm

    Completely relate to this… the amount of times I cram my old life into bedtime hours and then pay for it the next day is ridiculous! But, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Becoming a parent has been the making of me. I always thought my success in life revolved around clothes and shoes and makeup and what job I was in and who I was spending the weekend with. Then, I was given my family. And perspectives changed and success to me now is that I have made my son giggle from across the dinner table. It is a hard job, but wow, has it got the best rewards! #marvmondays

    • Jaki
      17th January 2017 / 9:26 am

      I feel exactly the same as you. I don’t think anyone can really understand until they’re a parent themselves. Best feeling in the world. Xx

    • Jaki
      17th January 2017 / 9:26 am

      Thank you and thank you for commenting and reading πŸ™‚

  5. 17th January 2017 / 1:14 pm

    This post is perfect. It’s like you are writing about me. I used to go out all night, sleep all day. Spend weekends being a slob, and not really doing anything at all. I don’t honestly miss it.

    I do go a bit crazy if I don’t get the evenings to myself, just to relax, catch up on crap tv etc, but I’d rather be snuggled with my little ones that going out any day. I NEVER go out, and I don’t care. I do however stay up far too late, often 2am before I fall asleep and get woken up at 6!

    I wouldn’t have it any other way, xxx

    • Jaki
      17th January 2017 / 4:10 pm

      Aha we are one of the same! I so often fall asleep at night with the tv and the light on only to wake at 4 in the morning to switch it all off! I kick myself every time!! I will never learn and probably never change. And no I wouldn’t change it either. I don’t miss the old days of going out. I’m much more a home bird these days. I love writing posts like these as it makes me realise I am normal!! πŸ˜„ xx

  6. 18th January 2017 / 5:40 pm

    I had to chuckle about the music thing. I’ve been lucky up until this point, L is three, that he has qute happily listened to my music at varying volumes and enjoyed a little dance with me. Up until now. My dear friend bought him a CD of personalised nursery rhymes for Christmas which is now the only acceptable music. I could weep! #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      18th January 2017 / 5:51 pm

      Oh noooo!! We had it the other way around. My little man has just recently started to embrace my music taste. Everyone keeps telling me I’ve brainwashed him. I really haven’t. The kid just had good taste! I hope the nursery rhyme phase doesn’t last too long for you! πŸ™‚

  7. 18th January 2017 / 6:36 pm

    This is so lovely and so true too! I cant even remember what I used to do before I had children, although my eldest is almost 13 so it’s hard to remember anything!! I think being a parent does change you, in so many ways, and for most people it is definitely for the better. Being a parent made me a better person, and most of all a better daughter as I could finally relate to my parents and realise what I had put them through growing up! #bestandworst

    • Jaki
      18th January 2017 / 6:50 pm

      Yes! That’s something I didn’t even touch upon. I definitely respect my parents so much more now than I did. Thanks for the lovely comment. X

  8. Coombe Mill - Fiona
    18th January 2017 / 8:48 pm

    Parenting certainly does change your life, partly because you let it and partly because the situation demands it, it doesn’t stop most of us doing it again though so it must be worth it! #Best&Worst

    • Jaki
      18th January 2017 / 8:52 pm

      Oh completely!! I wouldn’t change it for the world. X

  9. Claire
    19th January 2017 / 9:28 am

    I love this and it’s so, so relatable. My little boy was one this week and I feel like I’m at a weird point where I know I’m not who I used to be and no longer want to be who I used to be. This is my favourite post I’ve read in a while! #ablogginggoodtime

    • Jaki
      19th January 2017 / 4:25 pm

      Ah thanks so much. That means a lot. It’s nice to know that people can relate to it πŸ™‚

  10. 20th January 2017 / 9:45 am

    This is lovely! It is so true that we change after Motherhood engulfs us but it is for the better! And yes we do still balance our former selves with our new arrival and strive to have ‘Mama0time’ and ‘Date-nights’ (they are all super important to ones sanity!) but it comes with the feelings of missing our child and wanting to get home to them even if they are asleep! <3 #coolmumclub

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:44 pm

      This very thing happened last night. A rare night out for hubby’s birthday ended up being up all night as Little Man was poorly 😫 from date night to mum within 5 minutes! I’m glad you enjoyed the post and thanks again for sharing it πŸ™‚

  11. 20th January 2017 / 10:29 am

    Such a lovely post hon – it’s true, our whole reason for being changes…and your post highlights that so perfectly. Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xoxo

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:42 pm

      Thank you. That means a lot:) xx

  12. 20th January 2017 / 12:41 pm

    You are totally right the love you feel and receive back changes everything πŸ’™ Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime πŸŽ‰

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:42 pm

      My pleasure. It’s certainly very special. X

  13. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons
    20th January 2017 / 4:33 pm

    This is so true and so lovely. I was never the maternal type either, until I suddenly decided I desperately wanted a child. But even then I worried that I wouldn’t know what to do with it, and that I was fundamentally too selfish to be a good mum. I didn’t realise that as soon as you have that little baby handed to you, that it’s impossible to be selfish anymore – you’re always thinking about them first. I wouldn’t change anything about becoming a parent for the world. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:37 pm

      My pleasure. Glad you enjoyed it. It’s unbelievable how quickly the transformation happens.

  14. 21st January 2017 / 10:55 am

    I’m nodding my head along with this post!! Massive changes but you just couldn’t care less. I’m so lame even on a child free evening (I’m v lucky) my own highlight is a takeaway (noone here to have to set a good example to) and catching up on my recorded TV! #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:25 pm

      Oh that sounds like bliss to me!! Glad you can relate. Thanks for commenting πŸ™‚

  15. CaptainKirt
    21st January 2017 / 3:11 pm

    A lovely post. I became a father 20 years ago and I was completely taken by surprise by the love, the responsability and the change. I quickly became accustomed to my role and relished every minute (I still do). It does change your life but I think you find yourself to some degree too. Its been hard work but the rewards are immense.

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:23 pm

      Completely! You have no clue until you become a parent do you?! Thanks for sharing this aswell. Much appreciated.

  16. 21st January 2017 / 3:53 pm

    I absolutely love this! Even though I was around babies growing up, when it came to having my own I still felt clueless. But you are so right…that love! And second time round too. I didn’t think it was possible to love that much again but it totally is! Brilliant, gorgeous post! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Jaki
      21st January 2017 / 4:22 pm

      My pleasure lovely. Glad you can relate and it wasn’t just me feeling clueless! πŸ˜„ x

  17. 21st January 2017 / 6:15 pm

    Wow I absolutely love this! I think you have summed it up perfectly for so many. We want yet don’t want many of these things at he same time. I too stay up too late milking every last second of me time before the next day starts but would I change it? Of course not! Parenting changes you, immeasurably. There is no escaping it. You are still you just a different you – the mum version of you. I know many would wince at that but, well, it’s true! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun cx

    • Jaki
      23rd January 2017 / 12:23 am

      I’m living up to the post replying to my comments when I should be sleeping! I’ll never learn. I’m so pleased you enjoyed the post. Thanks so much πŸ™‚ xx

  18. 22nd January 2017 / 1:06 am

    This is so true! I look forward to doing things with my children rather than doing things without them. My eldest is coming up 12 and it’s scary for me to think that I’ve actually been a mum for 12 years. I mean where has the time gone? We are close as a family and I look forward to planning the weekend based on what we are going to do – even if it’s stay in and bake or craft, or go somewhere, it’s just as important. They cost a fortune and yes we can’t have the things we used to have all the time – but we have so much more. There is so much more love in our life and that’s what changes us!

    Great post – I love it!

    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes

    • Jaki
      23rd January 2017 / 12:21 am

      Thanks so much Janet. It sounds like you give your kids lots to look forward and that’s wonderful. They’re the making of us aren’t they? πŸ™‚

  19. 22nd January 2017 / 7:51 pm

    Wow I totally agree with this. It’s the best change in the world! I love my little man to bits! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

    • Jaki
      23rd January 2017 / 12:20 am

      Ah thank you for hosting πŸ™‚

  20. 22nd January 2017 / 9:39 pm

    Aww I really love this! What a sweet message – I was talking the other day that I don’t really remember my life before I had Emma. It completely changed me too, in ways that surprised me. I was the same as you and completely lost as a new mum, as I was also one of the younger ones in our family. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

    • Jaki
      23rd January 2017 / 12:19 am

      Thanks Bridget. Lovely comment. It’s like a whole lifetime ago isn’t it? X

  21. 23rd January 2017 / 12:03 am

    Aww loved this post! I could have written it myself, it’s so relatable. I also find myself up all hours catching up on “me” time as it’s the longest time I get uninterrupted. I do at times feel frustrated too by the lack of time but as you’ve said, I wouldn’t change it for the world πŸ™‚ #Blogstravaganza

    • Jaki
      23rd January 2017 / 12:18 am

      Ah thank you. Quite a few people relate to it. There’s a lot of us night owls about so it seems! Thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  22. 23rd January 2017 / 1:53 pm

    I never really had much to do with children either, being the youngest in the family too! I’m totally the same though, I could leave them but more often than not I choose to stay with them. I totally agree, giving them our time is so important! This was a really lovely read, thanks so much for linking it to #Blogstravaganza! Hope to see you again next week x

    • Jaki
      24th January 2017 / 5:26 pm

      It’s my pleasure. Lovely little linky. I’m pleased you enjoyed it. I’ll be back this week πŸ™‚ x

  23. 23rd January 2017 / 8:42 pm

    I have no clue what I did before I became a parent, I must have just wasted hours and hours!! I was ready to be a mum and I felt that I didn’t give up anything. I had done everything that I had wanted to do and I wouldn’t miss it. I love being a mum and it has made me a better person. I wouldn’t change a think. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  24. 25th January 2017 / 9:43 pm

    This is so true. I actually have never had any adult life where I haven’t been a parent but I really relate to not wanting to not feeling the same priorities towards my appearance and social life anymore! Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG

    • Jaki
      26th January 2017 / 10:44 pm

      Ah my pleasure! X

  25. 26th January 2017 / 8:52 am

    Awww this is so true! I’ve changed and wouldn’t go back either! Thankfully I drive a lot for work so spend a fair amount of time in the car listening to what I want to listen to! πŸ™‚ stopping by from #sharingthebloglove

    • Jaki
      26th January 2017 / 10:47 pm

      I get about an hour a day. A little longer on a Friday! I just make sure I turn it up extra loud!! πŸ˜„ x

  26. 2nd February 2017 / 11:06 pm

    Ah this is so true and you can’t even begin to explain it to people with no children! This bit is exactly me –

    “My β€˜me time’ is limited. Very limited. It’s usually only the few hours I get after Little Man has gone to bed – which is probably why I have so many late nights. Because I’m cramming my old life, the old me, into a couple of hours before my own bedtime.”

    Every damn day! xx

    • Jaki
      3rd February 2017 / 9:32 pm

      Ahhh. It’s not just me!! There are so many of us pottering around on the early hours like this!! It’s quite funny really! Glad you can relate πŸ™‚ xx

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