We’re nearly 20 months down the road now. 20 MONTHS. And I still can’t really believe that I’m a real life Mummy. It’s not a dream. It’s really real. I’m somebody’s everything. I’m somebody’s constant. I’m somebody’s morning, noon and night.
I am his everything but at 20 months we’re well into the toddling stage and he is more independent now than he has ever been. He feeds himself, he walks, he pulls himself up onto the sofa, he climbs the stairs at bedtime (with me stood behind before I get a barrage of criticism!), he helps wash himself, he helps brush his teeth and he helps dress himself. It’s become apparent to me that they need you less and less at such an early age.
I know, I know he’s still tiny in comparison to having a grown up son, but I can see how this will be a constant thing now until the minute he wants to leave home. That realisation as a Mum, can make you a bit sad.
But with every negative feeling, I get a positive. For instance, I absolutely love having a toddler in the house. Don’t get me wrong, the baby months were great but in comparison, dare I say it? They were a bit boring. They sleep, they eat, they burp, they poo, they gurgle. They look cute. They repeat the process. Before you shout at me, I love babies, I had one goddamnit, but toddlers really are ace!
They have so much character. They have their own personality and if anything like mine a whole dose of cheekiness to go with it. They don’t gurgle, they laugh & sometimes it’s so uncontrollable that I find myself in hysterics and we end up laughing at each other. For the first time since being a parent I feel like I have some company at home during the day. His presence is felt more as a person than that of a baby. He’s the man of the house when Daddy isn’t home. He’ll dance to music, he’ll attempt to sing to songs and he’ll give you a high five when he does something brilliant.
But most recently, when it’s time to sleep. He’ll have his milk. He’ll wipe his face and he’ll scoot down off our bed and he’ll toddle to his bedroom and stop by the side of his cot where he’ll put his arms up to me to be picked up. Then when I ask he gives me a cuddle – a proper arms around your neck cuddle – and a kiss, and we say night night. And it’s then I realise over and over that I have the most special thing in the world. Those kisses and cuddles are my favourite part of the day. It’s not just me smothering yet more and more on him, I’m finally getting them back! It’s the mummy moment I’ve been waiting for and it’s a daily reminder that being a Mum is just bloody brilliant.
I am so, so lucky. My baby. My boy. My best friend for life.