Just my humble opinion…

Just my humble opinion…

By the time I go back to work, I will have taken nine months Maternity Leave, the first six weeks of that being on full pay. I called my baby Ethan. I am a size 12, not an 8 and God forbid, I have tattoo’s. I am everything, the pitiful excuse of a woman we’ll call ‘K’ disapproves of.

Who the HELL does this woman think she is?

She has inspired many a blog post that have never made it to publication simply because I was too wound up to string the sentences together. Now, after much deliberation, I have decided to go for it.
I was going to go through everything this woman has said that’s wound me up, but all it was doing was winding me up even more! For the sake of my blood pressure I had to hit the delete button.

She seems to take it upon herself to attack parents. My first run in with her was when she said that Mums who stay at home to look after their children, see it as an excuse to not work and keep their slippers on. REALLY? Should we not want to stay with our babies and raise them ourselves? If she chooses to go back to work and have someone else feed her babies and change their nappies then that’s fine but don’t criticise us that don’t choose to do that. I could sit here on my pedestal and say that what is the point in having a baby if you’re going to pay someone else to look after it and bring it up? But I understand that we are all different and that everybody’s circumstances are individual and it’s their choice how they choose to raise their babies. I will however say one thing. A day out at work is FAR easier than a day looking after a baby. After all you get a paid lunch break at work, where low and behold you get to eat! And tea breaks where you get to have a drink. You can have five minutes peace while you nip to the loo. You stay at home with a child and there is no guaranteed lunch break, tea break, or toilet break. It is full on from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to sleep, and sleep is only if you’re lucky. But I would not change it for the world. I am paid with the love of my baby and the smiles and giggles he gives me and that makes me richer than any well paid job could make me. But maybe that’s why ‘K’ chose to go back to work after just two weeks maternity leave with all three of her children. Maybe she’s just not cut out for it?

I’m not going to go into the whole ‘child’s name’ thing, that’s had far too much publicity than it deserves. I know that contrary to what she said on her Twitter timeline, Ethan is a beautiful name and I have no regrets in choosing it for my gorgeous boy.

What I do want to mention though is her pathetic article regarding new Mums being ‘lazy’ if they are not a size 8. I mean. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life? Has she given any kind of thought that her words and opinions regarding this may be very harmful to new Mums who may have body issue hang ups or post natal depression? Being a new Mum is hard enough without having to read this crap. Should the health and well being of your new baby not be the priority rather than being at the gym trying to beat the bulge as soon as physically possible? But then this is the woman who went back to work after two weeks maternity leave, so I guess we can see where her priorities lie.

Finally, and then I promise I’m done, comes today’s absurd quote regarding childbirth. Ready for it? I quote, “Childbirth is not difficult”.
I am insulted by this and I had a straightforward labour. I am one of the lucky ones but there are so many women who don’t have easy labours and who would disagree ten fold with such a stupid statement. Some women even die during childbirth. It is such an inconsiderate, insensitive comment to make! But then I think to myself, there are many, many great comebacks you could make to the statement ‘childbirth is not difficult’ but I wouldn’t want to stoop to her level and make this personal.

So I’ll end this now with a smirk and be completely safe in the knowledge that despite my faults, and I’ve no doubt that I’ve some, at least my beautiful baby boy hasn’t got someone like our friend ‘K’ as a Mother.

Follow:

12 Comments

  1. toriking
    29th July 2013 / 3:05 pm

    Well said 🙂

  2. Gemma
    29th July 2013 / 4:15 pm

    I think you write for most of us who are Mothers in the UK. This woman is an absolute disgrace. I would rather be a fat and loving Mummy than a skinny hard faced cow anyday.

  3. Ali
    29th July 2013 / 7:11 pm

    Very very well said. And very restrained too!!
    I am a relatively new mummy who had a very difficult labour (preceeded by a 2 wk hospital stay due to pre-eclampsia), I stay at home with my son, AND, brace yourselves, his name is Jenson!!

    ‘K’ is the most deluded, arrogant, self righteous idiot in the country at the moment, in my opinion. I hope she is ashamed of herself and chuffs off.

    • 29th July 2013 / 8:41 pm

      Jenson is a lovely name! Thanks for your kind words. Sadly I don’t think she’ll disappear that quickly or easily.

  4. Kerri
    30th July 2013 / 3:47 am

    Nicely and very well said.

    I’ve only just recently learnt about this woman (name discrimination 101), and my jaw dropped. She just came on Aussie TV on Monday morning (AEST) and the subject was on tattoos. Won’t go into details, but … let’s just say if she said anything to my hubby, she’d be meeting the concrete floor, compliments of my fist! I too have a tattoo – on my ankle pretty easy to cover up really. And planning on getting another with, dare I say it, my kids’ names and birthdates.

    I can bet she wouldn’t want her kids around mine anyway. Firstly, their names are James and Brooklyn (gasp, a geographical name, never mind that she is a hypocrite). Secondly, she would probably have something against Autistic kids (my son is one). Lazy indeed! I am full time carer to my special needs son and a 10 month old daughter!

    Childbirth isn’t difficult! Try a premature birth at 32 weeks (thinking you are going to loose your baby boy), and a haemorrhage seconds after your daughter was born!

    This woman needs a wake up call!

  5. Mike
    30th July 2013 / 9:02 am

    You haven’t addressed the issue she raises in her maternity leave article. You mention all the rigours of bringing up a baby and how “full on” it is etc. but that goes with the territory. You also ask, “Should we not want to stay with our babies and raise them ourselves?” Well that’s up to you, it’s your child after all.

    ‘K’ was coming at it from a small business perspective and it’s hard to argue with her. She was not asking to abolish maternity leave, she was asking for it to be reviewed and for the stress on the small business owners to be reduced.

    Having a baby is your own personal decision – your employer has absolutely no say in it. It is therefore unfair for them to have to shoulder the burden of paying you 6 weeks wage and then investing all the time, money and effort in training up a new member of staff (only to get rid of them a year later).
    The company has no obligation to accommodate or provide for your child – that’s the role of the parents.

    At the end of the day, when you chose to have a child it should be up to you to ensure all the provisions are in place. If you want to take 12 months off to look after your baby, then by all means do it, but you shouldn’t be allowed to expect your employer to pay your wage and keep your position vacant.

    A fairer system would be one in which your employer states their position on maternity leave within your employment contract. Another would be for you to consult with the company beforehand, so they can leave you in no doubt where they stand. This is reasonable when you consider the potential implications for the company involved.

    By doing this, nobody is left in the lurch and you can then take all this into account when deciding whether now is the right time to have a baby. The company has enough on its plate without having to be faced with all the additional complications of YOUR decision to have a child.

    • lolly
      13th November 2013 / 1:59 pm

      what an incredibly Patriarchal point of view. Thank goodness for feminists far and wide.

  6. Kris
    31st July 2013 / 9:59 pm

    I think it’s a great article and a fantastic read.

    To be honest having six weeks pay and having your position on hold for your return to work is certainly the least your company could of done, especially serving over 10 years in the position. As employees we have to notify them giving them plenty of time to find a replacement.

    I don’t think the system needs addressing at all, to be honest I think most companies pay the lesser in maternity package anyway and if better packages were to be set then maybe mothers would return.

    In a small business environment I find it hard to believe by a women going off for 6-12 months on maternity leave could cause huge detriment to the business. I work for a small company and it copes with staff having babies and we adapt.

  7. kate (please don't lynch me for my name)
    2nd August 2013 / 10:49 am

    Totally agree Kris. I have been on maternity leave for 8 months. I am going back in 5 weeks. I told my employer the day I found out, I gave plenty of notice on my intentions and since I have been off I have been into work for 9 days out of the 10 keep in touch days I can work and have constantly been contacted via email and telephone as I agreed in order to make sure things were ok in my absence. A temporary member of staff has taken over the role from elsewhere in the organisation is costing less that I was. My company claims back 92% of my smp. The response by some people is infuriating at “K” needs to realise that the actions of her motor mouth are going to cause embarassment, humiliation and resentment from her own poor children. Think the original post is much more reserved than the woman deserved!

  8. Pingback: Fall is here | Ottawa Moms and Babies Blog

Leave a Reply