As a parent, you have lots of responsibilities with regards to your children. You need to make sure you do everything you can to keep them safe and happy. Unfortunately, there are so many things that can throw a spanner in the works and impact a child’s life. When this happens, it will be up to the child’s parents to keep their son or daughter afloat and make sure the issue doesn’t hurt them. So what type of issues are we talking about? Well, you might have jumped straight for the D word and I am going to talk about that. But first, let’s go back to a subject I’ve discussed previously, moving home.
The Problem With A Move
The issue here is that it will always throw your kid’s lives off balance. If you are going to move, particularly if you’re planning to journey quite far away, try to do it when your children are still young. Before ten, kids won’t have made friendships that are going to last for years and they will bounce back. At this point, children are still shaping who they are, who they’re going to become. That’s going to keep happening all the way up to 21. But by around 13 the pieces are falling into place and a lot of those pieces are based on their environment.
If you want a brilliant showcase of how a move affects an older child look no further than “Inside Out.” Anyone who has moved with children will tell you this is exactly what it’s like.
The only thing you can do is keep the family part together. You’re going to need to spend more time and put more effort into maintaining your family model because when you move that might be all your child has to work with. They’ll have to form new social groups, make friends and find their place. This takes time and during this time you should definitely expect at least a few arguments.
The Issue With Bullying
So, a recent poll revealed that around 20 percent of kids will be bullied at some point during their school life. But there are other articles that suggest that real stat is around 75 percent and this is definitely going to worry some parents. If you’re not worried about bullying, you’re probably under the impression that the effects are short term.
This isn’t true and bullying can be traumatic enough to cause PTSD in children and even adults. When teenagers suffer from PTSD they will flashback to traumatic events from their childhood. This is the type of outcome that you want to avoid if your kids do experience bullying.
There is no set way to deal with bullying and every parent has their own view on it. Some think the school should handle it, others think they should speak to the parents of the other child directly and there are plenty who believe the kids should work it out among themselves. It would be wonderful to tell you that one of these tactics always leads to a positive outcome but that’s not the case.
Your best option is to investigate any issue with bullying on a case by case basis. The most important factor is that your child feels they can come to you with a problem. And, if they do you have to handle it sensitively. Don’t go rushing off in anger because you can make things a lot worse.
The Trouble With Separation
The impact that divorce has on a child’s life is always going to be debated. With the death of the nuclear family, there will be people who claim that divorce isn’t damaging at all. They want to believe that because these days it’s so common. However, it does depend on how families handle the situation.
I’ve talked before about how children crave order and structure, particularly in the early years. That means that a separation should follow a set path. This is going to make it easier for everyone. To ensure this, couples can look into separation agreements. This irons out what’s going to happen and how things are going to be handled before a divorce is finalised. That includes custody of children and ensures kids don’t see their parents fighting over them. This is the most important thing to consider during any separation. Don’t hide what’s happening from your kids. Just make sure that everything remains amicable and you’ll have the best chance of seeing zero negative consequences.
The Dangers Of Redundancy
Redundancy is another issue that is definitely going to impact your children. You can do your best to keep them out of the line of fire but it’s always difficult. When people face redundancy, their mood changes and depression is quite common. Then there’s the pressure it puts on finances and kids are definitely going to feel that. You’re not going to be able to buy them as much as you used to and they may notice changes in their quality of life.
Younger children may not understand what’s going on and will be the least affected. Kids ten plus are going to at least partially understand what’s happening even if you don’t tell them. The best way to handle this is to explain what’s happened without exploring the possible outcomes like downsizing or moving house.
As well this, you need to do everything you can to not take your distress over the situation out on your kids. As hard as it might be you should take advantage of one significant plus to a period of redundancy. You’re going to be at home and in between looking for jobs you can spend time with your children and make sure they know you’re there for them. Feeling depressed about redundancy is completely understandable, but you have to remember everything you have and a large part of that is your family.
You will bounce back from a redundancy and when you do you’ll remember what family life was like through the difficult times. You can avoid it hurting your children.
These are definitely sensitive situations but hopefully, you can see that they don’t have to negatively impact your children. They are always going to bring changes and challenges but if you support your children, you can get through them together.
This is a collaborative post